Welcome post!

Hi there! I decided that I wouldn't post about my day so much today as give a shout out and welcome to any visitors (and hopefully new readers) that are stopping by. Of course, I don't want to snub anybody who's been reading for a while, so hello to you too!

For those of you who are new, thanks for checking out the site! Feel free to leave comments on posts that you have read! After you surf around and read a few posts, please take a minute and sign my guest book at the bottom of the page. If you would like Learn Me Good in your inbox or in your RSS reader, just click one of those links.

Become a FoLMeG! That's Friend of Learn Me Good, for the uninitiated. Just click "Follow" over in the sidebar. It won't make your hair grow or plate your car with gold, but it's still considered an elite group.

With it being the beginning of the school year, now's the perfect time to grab a copy of Learn Me Good, an embellished and fictionalized (but barely) version of my first year as a teacher. Print copies can be found here, but if you have a Kindle, go here!

I hope that you come back often, and please tell a friend to visit!

Same ol', same ol'

I would say that today was better than yesterday. At least I got my discipline/rewards system into place, and some of the kids from yesterday shaped up. There was still lots and lots of talking going on, but at least those kids saw that the behaving students around them got rewarded while the talkers did not. Also, there weren't as many interruptions or things to go home being passed out at 2:50.

Braces boy was chewing on his nametag string again, despite getting it caught yesterday. I guess some people never learn.

Oh, and at around 2:15, I'm not sure, but I believe one of the girls in my class either dumped a load in her pants or broke the seal on her "toxic waste dump" perfume vial, because it was all I could do to stand 5 feet away from her.

Pay is a thing of the past for morning duty, yet I still find myself out there in the morning. I guess my "voluntary shift" came up first (along with Anonymous Joe's), so we've been out there directing traffic. The usual craziness that we've come to expect during the first week of school. Everybody wants to pull up directly in the front of the door, park the car, and walk their child into school. We have to fight to keep some room free for kids to get dropped off.

Yesterday, one of our more troublesome children and his (even more troublesome) mother parked on the other side and walked out into the middle of traffic. When AJ asked them to use the crosswalk, the lady looked at him as if he was a talking bug from District 9.

And the people who live directly across from the school decided that from 7:15-7:45 would be a great time to run the sprinkler out in their yard. The sprinkler, of course, was set to spray the sidewalk, and I kid you not -- 2 people were standing in the doorway watching as kids and their parents ran through the sprinkler spray to get to the crosswalk. Nice.

Thankfully, they didn't run their sprinkler today.

REDO!!!!

OK, so day 1 of the 2009-2010 school year did not go quite as well as hoped.

Actually, the first half of the day was fine. It wasn't until after lunch that the metaphorical excrement began to hit the metaphorical air blower.

After the initial madness of trying to separate the parents from the kids, the day got off to a very nice start. For whatever reason, my two classes have widely ranging populations -- 17 in my homeroom, and 27 in my second class -- and of those groups, all but 3 kids were here today. Rather than have 26 kids in one class, my partner and I took 5 of her homeroom kids and put them in my first class today.

That group was well behaved, they listened, they did what they were asked. . . we had a splendid first day.

I think I didn't get off to a very good start with my second group. Our planning period this year is placed smack dab in the center of our day, which is GREAT from a scheduling standpoint. However, it means that we need to switch classes RIGHT before we take the kids to specials. So I didn't have much of a chance to meet and greet the kids in my second class as much as ask them to toss their backpack on a desk and line back up.

When we got back from lunch (which immediately follows specials), it didn't help that there were announcements coming over the loudspeaker roughly every 4 minutes. Also, we were still scrambling to find out which buses our kids were supposed to be riding home. Also, we didn't get enrollment packets that had to go home today until 2:20. Also, the kids in my second class apparently like to talk. A lot. And not so much on the listening and/or following directions.

One child in particular really got me flustered. This kid would look right at me as I was telling him to do the simplest things (ie, write your name at the top of the page), and then not do that simplest thing. He could talk to his neighbor just fine, but once or twice he actually told me that he had done what I asked, but when I looked, he definitely had not.

Then there was the boy who, at 2:57, wouldn't put his journal away because he had been playing with his nametag string (in his mouth!), and the string had gotten stuck on one of his braces. Lovely.

I did everything in my power NOT to sign any conduct folders today (though I certainly waved them around with that second class). I made it pretty darn clear though, that my red pen would be out and ready as soon as they walked into the room tomorrow.

Here's hoping a good night's sleep helps us all have a much better day tomorrow. Otherwise, it's going to be a REALLY long year...

Twas the night before school starts

Once again, I find myself nervous, anxious, unconfident, and worried about the first day of school. I most likely won't sleep well tonight, and tomorrow will be exhausting. I am pretty sure that my room is as ready as it is going to be, that my lesson plans are sound, that the routines I plan on going over are solid. I think of myself as being a good teacher, but a new group of kids always makes me wonder if they are going to respond to me as well as other groups have.

Anybody else go through this on the night before the first day?

Open House

We did something different this year. As long as I have been a teacher at my school, we had never before had a PRE-school Open House. Tonight, though, we did.

Apparently, our assistant principal and testing coordinator figured out how to send a phone message to all of our enrolled kids, and they also put up fliers at stores around the area, announcing a "Come meet the teacher" night on campus.

At first, we really weren't too keen on having to stay an extra 2 hours, but it really wasn't that bad. It actually played out a lot like parent conference nights usually do at my school. The Gen Ed teachers mostly worked in their room and were unbothered (I think 2 of them had 1 parent each show up, and another had 5) while us ESL and Bilingual teachers had a relatively constant stream. I met the parents of about 8 of my kids, and it looked like my partner met at least 12.

I also got to see a couple of my kids from last year, which was very nice.

The only real bad thing? The event ran from 4:00 to 6:00. The air conditioning in our hall was shut off at 4:50. That's not too pleasant on a 100+ degree day.

Got a lot done around my room today, but I always feel like I'm not ready at the beginning of the year. One more day, 2 fantasy football drafts over the weekend, and a most likely restless night on Sunday, and we'll see just how unready I am come Monday morning!

What a way to start your day

2nd day of staff development week -- strange beginning to the day.

I woke up this morning to find that one of my smoke detectors was beeping its "Low Battery" beep, a very annoying, yet persistent sound. Since there was still roughly 30 minutes until the time I actually WANTED to get up, I had to choose whether to get up and change the battery, or just suck it up and snooze. Since the latter hardly seemed possible, I got up, got out a folding chair, stood on it, wrenched the alarm off the ceiling and replaced the d*%n battery.

I've been having a new fence put in in my backyard, so I had parked my car out in front of my house last night. When I left the house this morning, I noticed that someone had sprayed shaving foam on 2 of my tires. Bizarre, and just a little weak. It's like they sprayed someone else really good, and then the can ran out when they got to me.

More sitting and listening at school today. We did do one fun activity where a teacher read a story about a star who was sad because she was smaller than all of the other stars, and who got some advice from the moon. Our task after that was to "jigsaw write," which meant taking turns around our table adding a piece of a story that continued where the book left off. I got to add a piece about the main character bulking up on "Starroids" -- Celestial Growth Hormone (CGH) -- and showing those other stars who was boss.

And it begins anew

Today was our first day back to school after a nice long refreshing summer vacation. No kids yet -- well, except for one of my kids from last year who stopped by, I guess to be told that he would be repeating 3rd grade -- but a full day of staff development.

A few highlights:

We were forced to endure the district sexual harrassment video yet again. This thing is at the same time, poignant and repugnant. I feel like each campus should just cast it and re-film it with their own staff and it would be a lot more fun.

We were informed that our presence would be required on Thursday evening for an open house. 4 - 6, we will be in our rooms for parents to come up and meet. Nothing like short notice...

Yours truly got busted (sort of) during an intervention presentation. One of our counselors was talking about each teacher having a spiral notebook to log all of the interventions throughout the year. She made the comment that this spiral would be our best friend. I leaned over to the teacher next to me and whispered, "So should I put out a Facebook friend request to my spiral?" As we were giggling, the counselor noticed and said, "Oh, if there are any questions, we should stop and clear them up." while looking right at me. Oops.

Found out that there will be no paid morning duty this year. Every teacher will have to rotate through a schedule of a week or so at a time, but no more money. I guess this is good in the sense that I won't (always) have to get to school so early, but it's not so good in the sense that I won't be making my roughly extra $2K this year.

Tomorrow is another jam-packed day full of excitement and adventure! OR, more boring sessions...

Welcome to the new year

I am getting a LOT of hits to my site on one particular page, and so I thought rather than have people look through the archives, I should just go ahead and repost it. This was originally posted in August of 2007, and I reposted it in August of 2008, so this makes it 3 years running.



This is a very tongue-in-cheek "Welcome" letter to be sent home with kids on the first day of school. Please take it as it is intended, that is, with a grain of salt. I am not passing judgement on parents, teachers, or students. I am just having a little fun. No offense is intended.



Dear parents/guardians/cousin Larry,


Welcome to the beginning of another super fantastic year! We are very excited to have your son/daughter/spawn in our class this year! We are looking forward to a year full of learning, growth, and development -- and hopefully NOT full of termites like last year. Whoops!


As a third grader, your child will be taking the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) for the first time. Except for Pietro, who's an old hand at the state standardized test. Here's hoping the 10th time's a charm, Pietro! But for most of the rest of your kids, they will learn firsthand this year about subjective exams and arbitrary passing rates!


It's going to be a challenging year for all of us, so we appreciate all your help. Here are a few friendly reminders to help us all get through the year:


When you drop your kids off in the morning, be sure to actually stop the car before they get out.


Remember that school starts promptly at 8:00, and your child should be in his/her seat, ready to work when the bell rings. Please do NOT set your alarm clock for 7:55 and expect to get here in time for your child to have breakfast.


Students are to come to school every day with at least one sharpened pencil. If you can afford a PS3 and WWE Pay-Per-Views every other weekend, I'm sure you can afford a couple of lousy pencils.


Homework is to be done tonight it is assigned -- BY THE CHILDREN! We know that you mean well, but you're really not helping if you don't know your long division from your lines of symmetry. (You know who you are)


Let's agree that a 2-pound bag of Hot Cheetos and a liter of Dr Pepper does not constitute a healthy lunch.


Dog fighting, convenience store robbery, and "making it rain" will not be tolerated. In other words, don't let your child emulate a professional football player.


Please make sure your son or daughter uses the restroom before they leave your home, and do not send them with a 2-gallon bottle of water. Once they are in the classroom, to paraphrase the current California Governator in Kindergarten Cop -- THERE IS NO BATHROOM!!


Let's make this a great year! Only you can prevent forest fires! They'll never take our freedom! Remember the Alamo! (Insert your own encouraging catchphrase here)!!


See you on Monday!


Sincerely,


Mister Teacher

20 things NOT to do on the first day of school

Summer is steadily slipping away, folks! So with that, I present to you the ANTI-Wong -- 20 things NOT to do on the first day of school.

1) Decide not to learn all of your children's names and just call them all "Kid."
2) Come to school dressed as a giant crayola crayon. Some teachers like to dress in costume, but nobody likes a corporate shill.
3) Sleep off a Nyquil-Vodka-Cherry Mountain Dew-induced hangover.
4) Update your Facebook status every 10 minutes.
5) Lecture the kids on how you could've had a V-8.
6) Pester the students for their honest review of your screenplay about intelligent rodents and the women who love them.
7) Mention The Girls Next Door.
8) Teach 8 ways to survive in prison.
9) Take the kids for a walk to the local quick-change oil lube joint.
10) Put on a viewing of The Godfather.
11) Run 10 fire drills back-to-back, followed by duck and cover.
12) Ask for their mother (or father)'s phone number for personal reasons.
13) Show off your prowess as an X-treme sport fanatic.
14) Try to have the kids solve the meaning of life.
15) Reenact the 100 Years War.
16) Model and try to sell your own personal brand of cologne or perfume.
17) Walk into the classroom at 8 o'clock, stare hard at the kids, and say, "You know what to do," and then leave the room for 4 hours.
18) Make a campfire and roast s'mores.
19) Consult a dog-eared, page-marked teacher handbook every 5 minutes.
20) Give the kids money for ANY reason.

20 Places to find Lesson Plans and Resources

Karen Schweitzer, guest poster extraordinairre, is back again, and this time she brings us a list of websites that can be very helpful to teachers with a little bit of bloodhound in them.

Karen is the About.com guide to business school, and she writes for onlinecolleges.net.

Here is her post:


20 Places to Find Open Source Lesson Plans and Teaching Resources

Are you looking for new lesson plans to engage your students in the classroom? Why not check out the Internet. There are many different websites that offer open source lesson plans and teaching resources to fit almost any need. Here are 20 great websites worth trying:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology - MIT offers a range of tools and resources through the school's OpenCourseWare site to assist teachers. Resources include introductory video courses, labs, demonstrations, and lesson plans for biology, chemistry, and physics.

Education World - Education World is a resource site designed specifically for teachers. The site contains lesson plans, teacher development tools, tips on technology integration, and much more.

NYT Daily Lesson Plan - The New York Times offers hundreds of free lesson plans teachers can use to connect the classroom with real world events.

Teachers.Net - With more than 4,000 lesson plans, Teachers.Net is a great place to find quality lesson plans for any subject. Along with lesson plans, the site also features chatboards, projects, mailrings, and articles.

ThinkFinity - ThinkFinity, courtesy of the Verizon Foundation, has a wide range of free educational resources for teachers, including lesson plans, interactive activities, training, and book lists.

TeAchnology - TeAchnology has a variety of resources to help teachers integrate technology into the classroom. The site also offers lesson plans, worksheets, and rubrics.

Teachable Moment - Teachable Moment features lesson plans and activities for elementary to high school teachers. The site focuses on lesson plans that encourage critical thinking and positive attitudes.

Federal Resources for Education Excellence - The federal government provides an assortment of interesting lesson plans and resources for teachers, including educational animations, primary documents, photos, and videos.

Smithsonian Educators - The Smithsonian Center for Educators and Museum Studies provides free lesson plans, resources, and information on professional development. Lesson plans range from art and design to language arts.

LessonPlansPage.com - LessonPlansPage.com features over 3,500 lesson plans to assist K-12 educators. This site also has discussion forums, math worksheets, and science experiments.

The Teachers Corner - The Teachers Corner is a great site with tons of free lesson plans. Other resources include bulletin boards, printable worksheets, and teaching jobs.

LessonPlanZ.com - LessonPlanZ.com is an online directory of lesson plans for all subjects and grades. The site is updated regularly and features a weekly newsletter.

Microsoft Educators - This Microsoft site gives teachers access to lesson plans, templates, teachers network, and more.

National Geographic - An entire section of the National Geographic site is dedicated to educational resources for teachers. Resources include lesson plans, interactive activities, and printer-friendly maps.

Awesome Library - The Awesome Library is an online library of resources for educators, students, and librarians. The site provides lesson plans for a wide selection of subjects and grades.

GEM - The Gateway to Educational Resources offers over 50,000 educational resources for teachers. A simple click of the mouse is all that is needed to find information on lesson plans, activities, worksheets, and more.

PBS - PBS provides many online resources for teachers, including lesson plans, interactive activities, teacher discussions, and career development materials.

Primary Resources - Primary Resources offers free online lesson plans, activities, and teaching resources. The site also hosts curriculum ideas for all ranges of subjects--from English to P.E.--and even includes sources for classroom management.

LearningPage - The Learning Page provides a large selection of professionally designed learning materials. Teachers can download and print the free lesson plans, worksheets, and books.

A to Z Teacher Stuff - This teacher-created site is designed to assist teachers in accessing resources more effectively. A to Z Teacher Stuff has lesson plans, discussion forums, tips, thematic units, worksheets, and e-books.

I'm on the list, and I can spell!!

Amber of Clear View Education has thoughtfully informed me that Learn Me Good is featured on their recent "100 Best Blogs for Teachers of the Future!" Lucky number 37!

So, teachers of the future that are visiting my blog -- greetings from the past! Thank you for exiting your flying car and your virtual reality program to stop by my antiquated site!

OK, I know that's not what they mean by teachers of the future. And I'm honored to be listed with other blogs such as Siobhan Curious, So You Want to Teach? and NYCEducator.

Speaking of ol' NYCE, he posted a story today pointing towards a lawsuit that a New York college grad has filed against her alma mater. She is suing her college for tuition (except that she spells it "tuitsion") since they have not placed her in a job yet, and she has been out of school for THREE months now!!

Finally, to everyone who is already back in school (DANG!!!), I feel for ya. I really do.

Teacher do

Just another rerun today, this time an education.com column from around this time last summer. Figured we could all use something to think about. :)

This column, titled "A Little To Do List," originally ran on August 5, 2008.

Down here in Texas, teachers are beginning to sweat a little bit. No, it's not because of the 108° temperature, it's due to the realization that there are only three weeks left until school starts again! What happened to the summer? What happened to all that free time? My house still needs cleaning, there are unread books on the table, and I never did make it out to Cici's Pizza to check on the kids.

I did get to enjoy my two vacation trips -- to Florida and to California -- and I even managed to squeeze in my continuing education classes! At least that's something I won't have to do over Thanksgiving break.

There still seems to be so much to do so, and three weeks seems like so little time. Teachers and students alike are probably running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

What to do? Where to begin? Don't worry, help is here. As a professional service, I've put together a little list that touches on the most important tasks and things that must be accomplished.

Start to recalibrate your sleep cycle -- If you're like me, you've spent the past couple of months going to bed at 3 a.m. and getting up at noon. That's just not going to fly during the school year. Use the next few weeks to gradually ease back into those early hours. Get up at 10 next week, get up at 8 the following week. Soon you'll be ready (or at least more prepared) for that painful 5:30 alarm bell.

Sharpen some pencils -- Would you rather sharpen 20 pencils a day for the next three weeks, or 420 pencils the day before school starts? Put on the Rocky theme song, and think of it as the teacher equivalent of drinking raw eggs and punching slabs of beef.

Get your Fantasy Football squad in order -- If you play fantasy football, you'll want to do all of your research and have your draft before you get bogged down in school activities. Choose wisely, and avoid those players likely to come down with torn hamstrings, high ankle sprains, and that most horrid of sports injuries -- lacerated buttocks.

Hit all of the bargain sales at local retailers -- If you work for a district where all school supplies are provided every year, good for you, go away. For the rest of us who have to plunk down our own money for much of our inventory, now is the time to catch these items cheap. Keep an eye out for teacher discounts at Office Max, Office Depot, and Office Office Office.

Visit a doctor -- Having your days free helps with scheduling appointments, but also, many school districts have benefits calendars that roll over on September 1. Schedule any necessary visits now, before your deductibles reset. I'm thinking about squeezing in stops to a plastic surgeon, an OB/GYN, and a veterinarian just to take advantage of my co-pay!

As you can see, if you follow this list, you'll be a happy camper come the first day of school. Now if I can just remember to set my alarm for 10:59 tomorrow...

Time to put on the thinking hats

Many teachers don't even want to read these words, but... there are less than 3 weeks left before we have to report back to school! (Shriek of horror)

So it must be time to start dusting off those ideas and concepts for lessons and activities for the upcoming school year.

I want this to be an interactive post, so I hope I get lots of responses from loyal readers and newcomers alike. I'd like to know, what are one or two ideas that you have -- whether you've brainstormed them yourself or read about them somewhere else -- that you can't wait to implement in the 09/10 school year.

Here are two ideas that I want to try. I know that I read about them online, and I am very sorry to say that I cannot remember WHERE I read them so as to give credit where credit is due.

1) Making clocks that have some other pattern than counting by 1s. This could especially be used in conjunction with multiplication lessons, where instead of a clock reading 1-12, the numbers could be replaced with multiples of say, 4, so that it read 4,8,12...all the way to 48. I think that this would reinforce the multiplication concepts, certainly, but also give the kids a stronger understanding of the way to read an analog clock.

2) I want to have the kids write their own little story that explains a math procedure. For instance, when I talk about regrouping in subtraction -- borrowing -- I tell a little story as I go, about how the 2 can't subtract a 7, so he has to go next door and borrow one from his neighbor, OH, but the neighbor is a zero, so the ZERO has to go next door to borrow one from HIS neighbor... and so on, and so on. Maybe, with some work, the kids could write their own cute little way to remember how to borrow, or how to round, or how to put the correct quantity on top of the fraction.

There are a couple of things that I want to try. Now you jump in, and tell us all about things that YOU are looking forward to giving a shot.

So much to do

Anyone else out there feel like summer break just isn't long enough?

(Don't let non-teachers hear us saying things like that). It's plenty long enough, realistically. However, we are down to our last 3 weeks here in Dallas, and I feel like there are still so many "projects" I have yet to accomplish!

I haven't done a YouTube video in forever, I have some artsy-fartsy crafts to do, and I have hardly worked on my Learn Me Good sequel (Learn Me Gooder?) at all!

Where does the time go???

To group, or not to group

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (yes, Saturday!!) of this week, I attended a professional development class. I was pretty disappointed that I really didn't get much out of it, other than a headache from walking between 104 degrees outside and 59 degrees inside AND a chance to read lots of my book during the lengthy and frequent downtimes.

But one of the things that was discussed was a bit puzzling to me, so I wanted to throw it up here (not in the vomit sense) for debate. The issue was of Ability Grouping.

The speaker was obviously against ability grouping. He said that in the past, some people have put the high kids together in one class and the lower kids together in another class. In this situation, the low kids tend to learn a lot and the high kids learn a lot, but the gap between their knowledge grows even wider. Whereas in a mixed-ability group, the high kids will pull the lower kids up, and so the knowledge gap is decreased.

What I'm wondering is, is our goal here really to shrink the knowledge gap, or is our goal to teach every kid as much as possible? And is it really better to have a smaller gap at the end of the year, where the high kids have increased, let's say, 10% and the low kids have increased, let's say, 30%, OR is it better at the end of the year to have high kids that have increased by 50% and low kids that have increased by 50%?

Several years ago, my partner and I did group our kids as such. I felt that it was successful because I could go at a different pace with each group, and not feel like anyone was being left behind. However, I can also see the merits of letting the high kids become more "teacherly" in helping the lower kids.

Any thoughts?

TAG me please!

Hey all, I'd like to make a request that can really help my book, Learn Me Good, get more exposure. This doesn't cost you a thing and it will take roughly 5 seconds of your time.

The more times a book is tagged with a certain category, ie, "humor," the higher it will rise in the visibility for readers to see when they look at that category.

I would be eternally grateful if you could go to the Amazon page for Learn Me Good -- then just find the section that says "Tags Customers Associate with this Product" and click the boxes next to "humor," "education," and "teaching."

That's it! Thank you very much to everyone who does this!!

Back to the city that DOES sleep

I'm back, did ya miss me?

My gf and I took a week's vacation up to the northeastern part of this grand country of ours. Boston and New York, to be more specific. I had been to Boston before; back when I was an engineer, my clients were based around Boston. But I had never been to visit or tour or sight see. And I had never been to Manhattan.

It was all freakin' awesome (wicked awesome, even).

Though I am INCREDIBLY tired and sore. It was not a relaxing vacation where we just laid around and dozed by any means. No, we aggressively toured each site, packing just about everything humanly possible into those few days. We walked miles and miles, took bus tours, trolley tours, subway tours, ferry tours. We walked the entire Freedom Trail in Boston and traversed Central Park several times. Saw the view from the Empire State Building and saw the Statue of Liberty from Liberty Island. I took like 600 some pictures (I'll only post 2 or 3 here). We saw the Letterman show (the one that will air tomorrow night with Tom Arnold), and I shook Rupert Jhee's hand in the Hello Deli.

I brought a copy of Learn Me Good for Dave, on the infinitesimal chance that we might be in the front row AND that he might come out into the audience, AND that I might be able to hand it to him. That of course did not happen, so I did the next best thing -- I walked between the lions and donated that copy to the New York Public Library. Now whenever I watch the beginning of Ghostbusters, I will know that I have a book in those hallowed halls.

Flew home yesterday, visited the chiropractor, and then got up early this morning to begin my 3-day dual-language training institute.

Oh joy.

Good to be back. But I just want to sleep...

Kindling for thought

Know anyone who has an Amazon Kindle? If so, please point them towards Learn Me Good, the Kindle edition, which is currently available for the bargain basement price of one dollar!

I've also recently made Learn Me Good available electronically in all sorts of formats for a nice low price at Smashwords, so check it out!

Professor Flash

My thanks go out to Amber today for sending me a link to a post at Teaching Degree, titled "Comics in the Classroom: 100 Tips, Tools, and Resources for Teachers."

There are (as promised) one hundred links, including everything from articles about the benefits of using comics, to lesson plans, to permission pages to print comic strips!

Check it out! You just might learn something!

11 things you can do to save money this summer

As most of you probably know, my good friend Joel, over at So You Want to Teach? is very, very (very times a million) fond of lists. That fact, combined with the fact that I am running low on things to blog about have merged to fit this blog post.

A couple of days ago, Joel wrote a post called "10 things you can do to spend less money this summer." I thought to myself, "Self, since there is a conspicuous absence of Olympic Games this summer, let's come up with our OWN competition. Let's one-up one of Joel's lists!"

And with that compelling argument from Self, I had no choice but to do this. Joel's post is great, it lists 10 cheap things to do over the next few months.

This one goes to 11.



1) Rewatch your favorite movies from your own DVD collection in the comfort of your own home. Repeat until you can write the entire script from memory.

2) Learn a new skill that requires nothing but items from around the house. Juggling might take you the whole summer to learn. Once mastered, try calligraphy, then daguerrotyping.

3) Tackle Pi. Keep a running record of the pesky number, adding on at least 4 decimal places every day. 3.14159 -- that should get you started.

4) Keep a tape recorder by your phone and record calls from telemarketers. Try to be as ridiculous and absurd as you can. See how long you can keep them on the line.

5) Save on food costs by introducing yourself to new neighbors. Knock on their door and say, "Hi there! I'm (insert your name here)! Nice to meet you! Something smells great -- what are we having for dinner??"

6) When you DO go grocery shopping, stick to the dollar stores. They sell food now! Believe me, a one dollar steak tastes exactly as good as you would think!

7) Make those expensive drinks last longer! When you feel like orange juice, coke, or even tequila, stretch out that bottle by adding water to your glass. I recommend 14 parts water, 1 part drink of choice.

8) Forget expensive vacations to faraway locales! Take a local tour that will run you only the price of gas (even better --ride a bike!). Be sure to bring your camera so you can take pictures to remember things such as your neighbor's foot-tall weed, the incredible barking dog, and the unforgettable "Truck parked across two spots at the 7-11."

9) Summer is a great time to catch up on reading, but don't go out and BUY any books. Just make a daily trip to your local bookstore and sit for a few hours, reading all the new novels. Pretty soon, the staff will recognize you as a regular. They love it when people do that.

10) Ditch the hired help when it comes to lawn maintenance. In fact, don't spend time or money on a lawn mower or any other pricey equipment. Just go out and get a goat! Once you're past the initial investment (cheaper if you can score an aging high school mascot), there will be no more expenses, and your lawn will be the best chewed on the block.

11) Hours of absolutely free entertainment can be had by plunking yourself down on YouTube. See the freaky dancing toddler, Bret Michaels getting busted in the face, and of course Professor Darth Vader.

And there's the list. Again, thanks and apologies in advance to Joel. Check out his list, and you'll have a Blackjack of ideas.

No Teachers Left Behind

Back about a month ago, I ran a guest post by Hopeful But Frustrated Teacher (HBF), who was doing a virtual book tour for her novel, No Teachers Left Behind. HBF was kind enough to later send me a copy of her book, which I jumped on as soon as the school year ended.

For anyone who may be interested in giving this book a look, here is my review of No Teachers Left Behind.

I have a feeling that non-teachers who read No Teachers Left Behind will come away shaking their heads, saying things like, "That's just too extreme -- there's no way school is like that!" For teachers though, even the most extreme situations in the book are recognized as possible and plausible.

At Vilyon Middle School, Principal Angela Marsh is nothing but rainbows and butterflies -- as long as it's to a best-selling author or a high-dollar donating parent. To her staff, she doesn't stop at stepping on toes; she brings her high heel down on the jugulars. In an early staff-wide email, she says that for the rest of the day, lunches will be held in the classrooms, despite the inconvenience to teachers. Oh, and by the way, she will be off campus having lunch at the Olive Garden.

The book is full of emails like that, with Marsh walking all over teachers' rights but then announcing that she is exempt. While reading them, I thought that's just so extreme, and yet it's not implausible at all! In one of my favorite examples, and energetic young activist teacher has sent out an email asking for support at a Saturday Obama rally. Principal Marsh replies with a message stating two facts: one, politics most definitely have no business at school, and two, emails of a personal nature will be cause for referral and loss of laptop. Turn the page and we find another email from Marsh, informing the entire staff that her daughter's Adventure Troop is selling popcorn which can be ordered in the main office. She ends her email with "PS -- God bless John McCain and the Republican Party."

In between the absurd emails from the principal, there are emails from teachers commenting on the working conditions, short poems that are wonderful, and bursts of narration that set the stage for the endgame.

This book will not have you rolling on the floor in stitches, but it is funny in a different way. I read almost the entire story with a bemused smile, shaking my head, thinking, "That is just spot on."

At the very end of the book, the story turns tragic. This is no spoiler, as it states this fact right on the back cover. By the time the tragedy unfolds, the author has done a great job of making you feel for and genuinely LIKE the handful of characters that may or may not be involved in the final act.

Kudos to Hopeful But Frustrated Teacher for a job well done. Here's hoping that her own principal in real life is not QUITE the monster that Angela Marsh is.

Classic!

I didn't watch much of ABC's new show "The Superstars" last night, but I am so very glad that I did watch the end. After throwing so many QBs under the bus, Terrell Owens finally got a bit of the T.O. treatment himself. From, of all people, a petite (and hot) supermodel named Joanna Krupa.

I LOVE IT!!!

Does this seem right?

I read a story in the Dallas Morning News today about a family that is getting private school reimbursement from a public school, thanks to a recent decision by the Supreme Court.

The story talks about a kid in Oregon who is referred to as T.A. This boy was tested for learning disabilities, but did not qualify for special ed. Later, it was determined that T.A. had ADHD.

Here's the part that really gets my hackles up. The story states:

"By then, T.A.'s parents had already placed him in a $5,200-a-month private residential school, a step many parents take when they think the public schools fail to provide proper diagnosis of their children's needs or the right programs for them."

Um, what? Over $5K PER MONTH??? I went to private school and it was barely that much for the entire year. Even taking inflation into account (I'm not THAT old), this still seems ridiculously exorbitant!

Secondly, many parents place their kids in outrageously expensive private schools when public schools fail them?? I'm not sure I buy that!

Thirdly, the story rubbed me the wrong way because -- the kid has ADHD!! At least in MY district, that's not considered a learning disability and cannot be used for placement in special ed programs! If all of our ADHD kids were in special ed, we would all be full time special ed teachers!!

This story just seems really scary to me. What do you think?

25 Edu Blogs Worth Reading

Karen Schweitzer has guest posted here on Learn Me Good before. In fact, her prior post -- 15 Places to Find Teacher Inspiration and Humor Online -- has remained a very popular post on this blog.

So when Karen dropped me an email asking if she could guest post again, I jumped on the chance immediately. Karen writes for about.com  as well as guest posting, and this time, she sends us a list of educational blogs worth reading. Seeing as how the post is being RUN here on Learn Me Good, it's obvious that THAT is the reason why LMG is not featured in this list, but that's ok. :)

_________________________________________________________
25 Edu Blogs Worth Reading

If you're looking for new summer reading material to excite and inspire, you may want to consider checking out one of the education blogs on this list:

Teacher Blogs

So You Want to Teach - So You Want to Teach is an education blog geared toward new and prospective teachers. The blog offers tips, resources, advice, and other helpful information.

I Want to Teach Forever - Mr. D's blog contains a wealth of resources for teachers. There are random posts as well as series of regular posts, such as 52 Teachers/52 Lessons and Five for Friday.

Cool Cat Teacher - Written by edu blogger and teacher, Vicki Davis, this teacher blog offers teaching content, classroom resources, and education news. The blog also includes occasional posts for parents and tips on using new technology.

Larry Ferlazzo's Websites of the Day - This frequently updated blog is written for ELL, ESL, and EFL teachers, but could be considered useful be almost any educator. Mr. Ferlazzo's posts link to new websites and resources each day.

Dynamite Lesson Plan - Author and public school teacher Damien Riley hosts this blog on teacher education and classroom management.

Tales from a Teacher's Heart - Tales from a Teacher’s Heart is a series of videos that share heartwarming stories about teachers and their students. The blog offers more of the same along with quotes of the week and an excellent "ask the author" column.

321 Learn - This blog was created for teachers and parents who want to find news ways to make learning fun. The blog features free resources along with useful tips and advice.

Successful Teaching - This popular blog offers teaching tips and strategies for educators. Posts link to many free teacher resources and often include a round-up of stories on other teacher blogs.

The Teacher Toolbox - Adrian Bruce's teacher blog is a great place to find stressbusters, jokes, classroom activities, and other fun resources.

Teacher Lingo - Teacher Lingo is a community of blogging teachers. There are many good blogs to read; you can also find like-minded teachers through the site's search feature.

Education Technology Blogs

iLearn Technology - This education blog is dedicated to technology in the classroom. Each post includes details about a technology resource, information on how it can be integrated in the classroom, and tips to make the resource more useable.

Free Technology for Teachers - Richard Byrne's education technology blog reviews free tech resources for teachers. Mr. Byrne also offers suggestion on how different resources can be used in the classroom.

Teaching All Students - This excellent blog from Patrick Black is geared toward teachers who want to learn how to use assistive technology in a special education classroom.

Creating Lifelong Learners - This blog from Mathew Needleman helps students and teachers close the digital divide by providing tips for elementary teachers who are teaching new and traditional literacy. The blog also includes information on how videos, podcasts, and other technology can be implemented in the classroom.

On Blogging and Social Media - This new web 2.0 blog from Nik Peachy is designed to help educators get started in the world of blogging and social media. The blog includes useful articles and step-by-step instructions.

General Education Blogs

This Week in Education - Alexander Russo's blog is a great place to stay up to date on education news and policy information. Each week he provides summaries and commentary on the biggest news stories.

Edwize - This education blog offers general education news and opinion. The blog also includes teacher diaries and real stories from NYC public school teachers.

Education Portal Blog - The Education Portal Blog offers a hodge-podge of education posts and resources for educators, students, and other people who enjoy learning. The blog is updated with a new (and useful) article at least once each month.

Elementary Education Blog This education blog is aimed at K-6 teachers. Topics include teaching strategies, curriculum design, behavior management, parent communication, and professional growth.

Mission to Learn - The Mission to Learn blog is geared toward lifelong learners. The site includes a lot of free resources and news as well as insights into what it means to be a lifelong learner.

Higher Education Blogs

Chronicle of Higher Education - The Chronicle of Higher Education offers up-to-date higher education news from around the web.

Education Nation - This education site provides news and information about the state of higher education in the U.S. and around the world.

International Higher Education Blog - David Comp's higher education consulting blog offers public diplomacy information, resources, and international education news.

Self Made Scholar - This blog from former English Teacher Jamie Littlefield provides a wide range of free courses and resources for teachers and lifelong learners.

Campus Grotto - This higher education blog is geared toward college students but it contains a wide range of articles, lists, and information that would be useful to almost any educator.


Guest post from Karen Schweitzer, the About.com Guide to Business School. Karen also writes about accredited online colleges for OnlineColleges.net.

forensic psychology graduate programs at The Chicago School online

A few movie reviews

I often don't get a chance to get out to the theater during the school year, what with the hectic pace of the academic year. However, once the year ends and I have some time on my hands (not to mention someone to go see things with), I am all about seeing some flicks!

Here are some short reviews about several that I have seen in the past couple of months. The rating system is quite simple, and is as follows:

1 Dry Erase Marker = Horrible, terrible, absolutely no good. Think Gigli meets Battlefield Earth. Stay away no matter what.

2 Dry Erase Markers = Just really, really not very good. I mean, if you're given the choice of watching this movie and sampling dog food, I guess you should watch this movie, but it's iffy.

3 Dry Erase Markers = The movie's not that good but at least the actors tried and the director is really a nice person so he should get some credit for that at least.

4 Dry Erase Markers = This movie was OK. Not great, not super fantastic, but ok. At the very least, there was no spontaneous breaking into song during a sporting event.

5 Dry Erase Markers = GOOD movie! Definitely recommended, and probably not just because there were hot women involved in the filming.

6 Dry Erase Markers = One of the best movies in the history of cinema. Right up there with Hoosiers and Hot Shots!

OK, so on to the movies!

Wolverine -- I give it 4 Dry Erase Markers. I would give it 5, but then I realize that not everyone enjoys the superhero genre as much as I do. Lots of cool characters, lots of cool fighting, lots of cool Adamantium bonding to skeletons. Don't watch this one and then go back and watch X-Men 1 and expect to see an evolution in Sabretooth.

Star Trek -- Definitely 6 Dry Erase Markers. I think this is the best movie I've seen in recent years (or at least since Iron Man). The action was great, and the young versions of the iconic characters were spot-on. Especially Dr. McCoy. Syler makes a great Spock, and the old Spock was great too! By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out Trek Yourself, courtesy of Cheez-Its.

The Taking of Pelham 123 -- Saw this one at a Studio Movie Grill courtesy of a free movie pass. I really like Denzel and I like Travolta ok, but I was disappointed by this movie. It was all right, but there are a TON of F-bombs, and some parts are exceptionally cheesy. I did go back and watch the original, 1974, version, and I actually liked that one more. The new version, I give 4 Dry Erase Markers. The original, 5 Dry Erase Markers.

The Land of the Lost -- I am a big Will Ferrell fan, but when he is off, he is off. Semi-Pro was EXCEPTIONALLY bad (2 Dry Erase Markers). Thankfully, he is not off in Land of the Lost. It is not his greatest work, but far from bad. There are plenty of laugh out loud parts, and Ferrell is funny in his goofy, clueless yet pretentious way. I give him and his Sleestaks 4 Dry Erase Markers.

Terminator Salvation -- I had read several bad reviews of this film, so I went in with low expectations. I came out thinking this was a really awesome movie. The action sequences are spectacular, the acting was really good, and the story (especially the titular bit about salvation) is very well done. And not to spoil anything, but, well, let's just say someone makes a cameo appearance and "IS BACK!" 5 Dry Erase Markers for this one.

The Hangover -- I will stop short of giving this one 6 Dry Erase Markers ONLY because I'm not yet willing to put these newfangled raunchy low-star comedies up there with the greatest of all times. But let's say 6 Dry Erase Markers with one of the caps missing. This movie can be summed up in two words -- FRAKKIN' HILARIOUS! If you enjoy movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Old School, you will love this one.

Up -- The newest Pixar movie lives up to its pedigree. It is simply a fantastic movie. Touching at points, funny at points, realistic-looking always. Can I just say that Pixar rocks? Both of the Toy Story movies are among my favorite of all time, and I really like The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and Cars as well. The animated short at the beginning of the movie is REALLY cute as well. This one gets 6 Dry Erase Markers fo sho.


And there you have it, an up-to-date movie review for the month of June. If you enjoyed this, there may be more to come over the summer.

The Carnival can take a hike

This week's Carnival of Education is being hosted by Pat (AKA Looneyhiker) over at Successful Teaching. Be sure to lace up your hiking boots and bring a canteen, because she's taking us for a hike throughout the best blog posts of the week.

12 Things Teachers Should Do Over Summer Break

I certainly hope that by NOW, everyone is on summer break. Here in Texas, this is our second week off from school. If there are indeed any poor shlubs out there who are still in session, well first of all, I feel very sorry for you, and second of all, I don't feel as bad when I realize that you probably started way later than us or had an obscenely long Christmas Break.



Regardless, I've put together a little list of things that have worked for me in the past and/or things that I am trying now in the present. These are things that all teachers should do over the summer to be prepared for the new school year which SEEMS so very very far away, but which we all know will sneak up on us like a new reality-star scandal.



Here are 12 Things Teachers Should Do Over Summer Break (in no particular order):



1) Sleep for 24 hours straight at least once (just don't do this in late August).

2) Sharpen as many pencils as you can. I did this last summer, and now I think I'm set for the next decade.

3) Try to avoid getting sun burnt.

4) Read as much as you can for pleasure. We all know that's nearly impossible during the school year proper.

5) Exercise, exercise, exercise!!

6) Follow the news and happenings of the World Wrestling Entertainment industry so that you'll be able to converse with the kids in the fall.

7) Find a trivia night at a local restaraunt or bar. Try to win.

8) Wait impatiently for the final season of Lost.

9) Make some funny YouTube videos. Or at least your own personal version of funny.

10) Rent a backhoe and clean out your guest room, office, or bedroom -- whichever part of the house/apartment that needs it most.

11) Take a field trip. Or two or three.

12) Read some fun blogs.

You're a superstar

On the last day of school, I cringed as I saw many kids doing the usual end-of-school activity of signing their shirts. I didn't used to mind this so much when there was no dress code, and most of the kids wore cheap white T-shirts (or at least, if another color, still cheap). But now with the dress code of collared shirts, I just don't want to be the one that approves using magic marker on something that the parents might not want decorated.

Some of these kids were wearing REALLY nice shirts too, with signatures all over them. A couple of kids even asked me if they could sign MY shirt! And my shirt was patterned, with multi-colored stripes! What are they thinking??

So as an alternative, when the kids came to my room, I gave them each a big sheet of colored construction paper. We folded them up multiple times, unfolded them, and then drew lines on the creases, creating a nice autograph page with many squares to sign.

I even made my own for each class so that I could capture the kids' signatures and thoughts.

Most of them signed their name and wrote something like, "Best teacher ever." I think that once the first kid wrote that, the others felt obligated.

One of my sneaky devils -- really a sweet kid, but always doing something exasperating -- wrote, "Thank you for teaching me everything you know." Um, I DO have a few more tricks in the tank, sonny, but thanks for the sentiment.

On one of the kids' pages, I wrote, "You are a math superstar!" For the rest of the day, I heard this boy going around telling his classmates, "I'm famous!" or "I'm a superstar!"

One boy asked for my phone number, and then a bunch of them chimed in to ask for it. I declined, not really wanting to have to answer my phone at all hours of the night...

We've been out of school for a week now. I do miss my kids, but I don't miss having to get up early every morning!

Hope everyone's having a great summer so far!!

A few shows for the summer doldrums

Since a lot of favorite network dramas have gone on break, and we are currently being subjected to dreck like "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" or endless Golden Girls reruns, I figured now was a good time to step in and suggest a few alternatives...

These are two of my Mr. Teacher columns from education.com. The first ran on January 8, 2008 and can be found here, and the second ran on May 27, 2008 and can be found here.

Enjoy!

Part 1:

If you're like me, you are really upset about the writers’ strike that has had such a huge effect on movies and TV shows. Some of my favorite series -- "Heroes", "Lost", "Battlestar Galactica" -- have been delayed or suspended, while the very existence of others is up in the air.

Well now you don't need to worry any longer! Since I am not officially a member of the Writers Guild of America (or any Guild, for that matter), I am not forbidden to introduce new ideas into general public awareness.

So I have taken it upon myself to develop a few new concepts for movies and TV. These pitches -- all teacher-related, of course -- might just be coming to a video store near you, if the strike doesn't end soon.

"Try Hard" -- John McWayne was a 3rd-grade master reading teacher, the best at his inner-city public school. Until he ran into the class with no motivation. Led by an apathetic ESL student named Hans, this class didn't know the definition of the word, "effort." Witness McWayne win over and inspire the kids so they pass the evil standardized test.

*this movie would invariably spawn a sequel about the kids who did NOT pass -- "Try Hard 2: Try Harder".

"7" -- Special Agent Jack Tower of the CPU (Counter Plagiarism Unit) faces the longest school day of his life when a plot to mass distribute Senior term papers is uncovered. Meanwhile, Principal Palmer has his hands full dealing with a group of kids determined to kidnap the school mascot. Shot in real-time, each episode follows Jack and his crack team as they unearth clues, interrogate students, and enjoy a 30-minute cafeteria lunch. Don't miss the pulse pounding excitement!

"The Text-Files" -- Agents Sculder and Mulley, of the NTAA (National Textbook Adoption Agency) investigate mysterious occurrences involving misspellings and disappearing answer keys in Teacher Editions. Standing in their way is the sinister consortium, headed by the devious Pencil-Chewing Man. When it comes to history books, Sculder and Mulley are out to prove -- "the Truth is in there!"

"The Bourne Congruency" -- Amnesiac super-spy/assassin Jason Bourne is back again, this time as a high school geometry teacher! The pieces of his shattered life have finally begun to fall back into place, and to Bourne's surprise, those pieces are all the same size and same shape.

"The Straight A-Team" -- 10 hours ago, a crack academic team was sent to detention for a violation they didn't commit. These students promptly escaped from the minimum-security detention hall to the high school underground. Today, still wanted by the vice principal, they survive as mathletes of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the Straight A-Team.

If these don't get green light for whatever reason, I've got tons more: "Fast Times Tables at Ridgemont High", "Charlie's Angles", "The Addition Facts of Life", "Everybody Loves Rounding", and so on and so on.

Writers Guild of America -- let this serve as motivation to you to get back into place quickly!!




Part 2:

Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nightmare is over! OK, so the Hollywood writers’ strike ended months ago, and most of our favorite shows returned with shortened schedules. Strangely though, nobody from any of the major studios has contacted me about my column back in January, where I suggested a few teacher-related ideas for new shows and movies. (No one except the CW that is, and they hardly count.)

However, that column seemed to be pretty popular with you, the lovely, sophisticated readers of education.com, and so a sequel was greenlit. Call it Mr. Teacher’s Showbiz Pitches 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Here are a few new conceptual ideas for movies and television programming, all education-related, of course.

E-Raser – This cartoon about a Pink Pearl eraser striving to be at the top of his game is shot in Japanimation style. Join E-Raser and friends (and the shadowy ERaser-X) as they thwart the bad guys. Go, E-Raser, go! (Check out the opening sequence on YouTube!)

The Last Fraction Hero – Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to the big screen, playing Denominator, a killer cyborg with a penchant for leaving his targets with only half of their vital organs intact. He's already eliminated 15 out of 16 of the ultra-secret Fraction Commission members. Can Shawn Jonner the Third save humanity, or will Denominator break the world into pieces?

Tattlestar Galactica – Mr. Adama is the teacher in charge of this rag-tag group of first graders in space. As cries of, "He's skipping!" "She called me stupid!" and, "They're playing in the bathroom!" erupt all around him, Mr. Adama stays cool as a viper and resists the urge to shoot any of his students out of an airlock.

Indiana Jones and the Almighty Amazon Altar of Alliteration – With good ol’ Indy getting older and older, he's spending less time out on adventures and more time back in the classroom! This time, he regales his class with the tale of outwitting and outspeaking a wild, wicked witch doctor in a terrific, tongue-tied throwdown! Snakes... why did it have to be sinister, sneaky, scaly snakes?

Perimeters of the Caribbean – Captain Jack Spiral knows that X marks the spot, but he's convinced that a more special treasure lies on the edges of his sea. With his unruly crew aboard the cursed Black Square, Captain Jack traverses the length and width of the open waters. Yo ho ho and a boundary sum!

OK, I'll just wait here by my phone to be called this time. Since most shows are airing their season finales, we'll need something new for the long summer months!

In the meantime, I'll continue working on my new game show -- Are You More Exhausted Than a Third Grade Teacher?

Helpful explanations

This week's Carnival of Education is up and running at Scheiss Weekly. There are some fantastic posts there, including one in particular by Sarah Robbins of Parenting the Gifted.

I really like one of Sarah's classtime ideas to help students understand a concept, and I'm going to parrot it here:

After the kids have learned the concept, you can find fun and exciting ways to become experts on it. Take your two digit addition example. When I taught second grade, we did some fun activities to reinforce this concept. You can write stories to explain the process (the ones family lived in an apartment until they got too big, so they all had to move to the tens house).

I LOVE this idea! I have my own cutesy little explanations for ways to remember regrouping and other math concepts, but having the kids write their own helps stretch their imagination, their writing ability, AND their overall understanding of the concept. Maybe they can't remember (or don't like) MY way of explaining it, but if they can think of and then use their own method, it is SURE to stick!

This is one (hopefully of many) idea that I will be using next year in class.

What happened to summer school??

I have never really had any desire to teach summer school. By the time the last day of school rolls around, I am VERY ready for a chance to relax and recharge the batteries. I especially don't like my school system's hours (8-3) or the fact that there is NO break during the day. No specials, and you eat lunch with the kids. So no thank you.

But that is not what this post is about. Rather, it's about the kids who are going to summer school.

The first couple of years I taught, we would make recommendations for summer school kids at the end of the year. This list would include kids who did not pass the TAKS tests (reading AND math), but it would also include kids who had really struggled and/or just barely passed those tests.

However, for the past couple of years, all that has changed. Now the only kids who we can send to summer school are kids who failed the reading TAKS. Now keep in mind that I am only speaking about 3rd grade here; I'm not sure how it is with middle school or high school. But there were several kids this year who either failed the math test but passed reading, OR hit the pass mark exactly on the nose, OR would just plain benefit from some extra schooling in general! And they aren't going to summer school!

Sure, we are told that these kids could maybe go, if we can provide extensive documentation on why they should be admitted into summer school. And maybe the reason I don't write said extensive documentation on these kids is that I'm lazy, OR maybe the reason is that I was handed the permission slips for summer school and told that they needed to be signed by the parents and returned THE NEXT DAY.

At any rate, there were 6 3rd graders from my school submitted for summer school this year. In my mind, there should have been about 30, but what do I know, I'm just a teacher...

You're Never Too Old for Space Camp

Recently, Tom Anselm, who runs the Tom Anselm's Boomer Times blog, agreed to a book exchange with me. He read Learn Me Good -- and posted a lovely review -- and he sent me HIS novel which is called You're Never Too Old for Space Camp.

I just finished reading it today, and so my long overdue review is finally complete.

Space Camp is a very entertaining read. Anselm does a great job of bringing the characters at Cedar Grove Middle School to life, perhaps because they are based on real people he knows or perhaps because he has a great skill for writing people. The main character, Joe Akers, is a Special Education teacher in charge of a handful of academically challenged youngsters, including a potential NFL linebacker and a lad who rides his horse to school. Other teachers include a PT Barnum-esque principal, an uptight assistant principal who has a penchant for hiding in the bushes to spy, and a couple of love-struck educators for whom romance blossoms over the course of the story.

Anselm does a wonderful job of weaving yarns and telling stories, all while following the course of a typical school year. There is a bomb threat, and true to reality, the caller is never identified. There is a standing weekly meeting at "The Library," code for the teacher Happy Hour where teachers unwind and vent. There are a couple of kids who get expelled for going a little too far in the touchy-feely department. There are unexpected and saddening medical trials and tribulations.

This is what real life looks like for a teacher. The title of the book plays into the story wonderfully at the end, in one of the most touching parts, and by that time you'll feel like these characters have become a part of your life.

Check this book out. You'll thank me for it.

School's out for summer, is hot water in my future?

WOOHOO!!

Wednesday was our last day of school (controlled chaos, of course), and yesterday was our teacher close-up-shop day. Today is officially the first day without classes! Naturally, I have spent most of the day in bed with a nasty cough! WOOHOO!!

Well, I've always been of a mind that I would rather be sick on a NON-school day than a school day, so I'm pretty much ok with it, and I have lots of time to recuperate now.

Speaking of recuperating, I hope to have a steady flow of hot water in my house once again sometime soon...

About 3 weeks ago, my hot water heater burst. Just sprung a leak like a bad fishing boat and shot water all over my garage. Hard to take a cold shower at 6 in the morning on a school day!

So I called up my home warranty people and got them to send out a plumber. I couldn't take the day off, so my dad house sat for me on the Friday before Memorial Day. That day, in addition to the plumber, an HVAC guy was coming to fix my air conditioning. THAT, thankfully, was fixed that day.

The plumber took a look at my water heater and said it would need to be replaced and brought up to code, and that he needed new parts. He made an appointment to come back the following Monday and take care of it. I was wondering if he knew that day was Memorial Day, but he insisted that he worked his own hours and he could do it.

When he hadn't shown up by 3 on Monday, I called and found out that he couldn't get the parts because his office was closed. SINCE IT WAS A HOLIDAY!! But at least he was going to be able to come over the next day AFTER school, so I wouldn't have to ask my dad to house sit again.

He came over with a new water heater, took a while to get it replaced, added a drip pan, an outside line, etc -- all those expensive pieces to bring it up to code. Then he brought me out to the garage to show me that it was installed and done. Flipped the power on, and it promptly fizzled.

If you're a Star Wars fan, you know that scene where Luke and his uncle have just bargained with the Jawas to buy C-3PO and that red R2 droid? The red droid starts rolling and immediately blows a circuit and starts smoking? Well, that's pretty much what happened with my heater. There was a giant pop and the smell of burnt wiring.

So another day of no hot water. But the guy was going to come back the next day with a replacement. When he came back though, he didn't have a new heater, just a new heating element for the part that had blown up. He replaced it, we walked around the house, and every faucet was giving forth miraculous heated water. SUCCESS!!

Well, not so fast. The next morning, I turned on the shower, and it was warm. About 5 minutes into my shower, it started getting cooler, cooler, colder. I was out of hot water. I called the guy that night, and he told me that I needed to open up the control panel and press the reset button.

Odd, but I did, and I had hot water the next morning. A full shower's worth! SUCCESS!!

Well, not so fast. No more hot water when I came home that night.

Called the guy the next day, but with it being Saturday, didn't really expect to hear back. I discovered that if I hit the reset button each night, then I WOULD have hot water the next morning. However, I really didn't think that playing Desmond Hume and pushing a button every 108 minutes (Lost fan? Eh? Eh?) constituted a "fixed" hot water heater situation.

Called the guy on Monday during my planning period and got ahold of him. He told me that it was his day off and he was out of town, but he would try to swing by my place that evening to check things out. Didn't see him that night.

Called the next day and left a message. Never heard from him.

Which brings us to yesterday, when I finally called the warranty people again and told them what was happening. They called the plumbing company, and come to find out -- this guy no longer works for them!! I have no idea if he quit, or was fired, or what, but he was obviously NEVER going to return my call.

So now I have a NEW guy scheduled to come out on Monday and hopefully fix things once and for all.

Cuz I'm getting a little tired of opening the heater and pushing that darn red button over and over and over.

Carnival of Summer Blockbusters

Welcome to the 226th edition of the Carnival of Education! This week’s edition comes at the very end of the school year, at least for those of us in Texas, and regardless of whether or not you are still in school, no one can deny the fact that summer is upon us! Therefore, I thought a fitting theme would be that of the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER.

Below, you will find a preview-junkie’s dream of coming attractions and upcoming marquees. Be sure to give each of them your full attention, and please don’t ruin the movie-going pleasure of those around you with noisy babies, cell phones, loud talking, or links to research paper-writing sites.

From the people who brought you The Terminator, Back to the Future, and Season 5 of Lost – Phil for Humanity takes a look at Time Travel Theories. Good news ladies, none of the theories account for talking animals.

The first time, it was for glory. The second time, it was for revenge. This time, it’s strictly for the Principal. Mazenko’s back, and this time it’s somewhat relatively personal.

It calculates. It does thermal analysis. It even knows all about the day you were born. With a hyper-intelligent computer running things, what could possibly go wrong? Can Bogusia Gierus survive to find out??

The boy who became a man. The man who became a teacher. The teacher who stuck with a union. Tom White stars in this black and white indy.

When a magical book is banned from the schools, how far will the teachers go to get it in front of their students? Join the heart-pounding, pulse-quickening adventure with the Shiloh Muse, only in theaters.

Coming soon, a Travel Channel original documentary, A History of India takes you deep into the heart of the Asian continent and Indian culture. Narrated by Steve Gutenberg.

This I Believe. These simple words will warm your heart this holiday season. Join Patrick Black, and you too will believe.

He’s studying the same things, over … and over… and over… Glowing Face Man is having his own personal Groundhog Day, presenting a new idea for retaining language skills.

It was a race they said he’d never win. It would take tools he didn’t have, they said. This 4th of July, Loony Hiker asks, Should he even try??

Old Andrew is back, and once again his Bad News Brits are trying his patience. Can he get them to understand the concept of Obedience?

Protecting her blog from the scum of the internet. Siobhan Curious takes us into a recent experience with some not-so-friendly commenters with her take on how to handle them.

An unspeakable horror. Millions wiped out in an instant. All because of a bird/swine/killer bee/raging raccoon. This Halloween, say F U to the Flu.

In 2018, the Brains will rise up and take over. In 2005, the seeds for revolution were planted when two young men wrote a book and started a website. See how it all began in this epic prequel to SharpBrains 2: Die Sharper.

Winner of the 2009 Foreign Film Award – Don’t Mess with The Book Whisperer. This groundbreaking movie (subtitled, of course) will make you rethink your literature teaching style. AtlantaTeacher raves, “I laughed, I cried, I ate paste!”

From MTV Motion Pictures (in association with detentionslip.org) comes Save the Last Dance – at the Segregated Prom. This controversial film will leave you thinking.

What do you get when you mix poetry and lollipops? You get In Good Company, the latest computer-generated animation phenomenon from Tracy, the people who brought you Through the Cubbyhole and The Teacher’s Top Drawer.

In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream. But they CAN judge you by a bad, scary photograph. They say pictures are a window into our personality, and Victoria has some opinions on whose windows should be boarded over.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away… A question was sent through the blogosphere. Now, witness the answer in this awesome instructional power of this fully functional, operating weblog! Starring Sarah Robbins, and introducing special guest star, Mister Teacher!

In her stunning vision of a dystopian future, where everyone who opposes difference is stripped of identity and given a number, Diana Senechal will have you asking, “ Change… Why did it have to be change?”

Johnny Cash and the guitar. Truman Capote and writing. Frida Kahlo and art. They all practiced; they all perfected their skills. Now meet Matt Matic and discover the truth about how he perfected his mathematical ability. Brought to you by Tutorfi.com and the number 8.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall…What’s been happening on my hall? With the aid of a magical mirror (voiced by the always topical Pauley Shore), Larry Ferlazzo takes us back through a series of reflections on the past school year. Be sure to stay for a special scene at the end of the credits!

School is like a box of chaw-klits, you never know how many nuts are to be found inside. Popular documentarian Nancy Flanagan takes a close look at where the trend of education is going and who will be running schools in the future in the groundbreaking film Grade Runner.

What do you do when there are only 2 weeks of school left? SHOW ME THE ENGLISH!! Happychyck stars as a half-mad high school teacher whose antics prove just crazy enough for the kids to follow her to glory.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to volunteering… The dog poop hits the fan when Carol of Bellringers steps up for the 15th movie in the Crazy Carol series.

An overwhelmingly high percentage of children showing eerie behavior. Teachers fearful of these strange children. Will Dutch educator Joep survive his tenure in The Village of the ODD?

This movie is for the birds! You’ll FLOCK to the theaters to check out Kim’s review of Henry the Impatient Heron! (No Herons were harmed in the writing of this review.)

It’s 7 PM. Do you know where your Parents are? Mathew Needleman shows us just where he WANTS the parents to be, and HOW to get them there! Open House Night never felt so good!

No one can be told exactly what the ARIS is – you have to see it for yourself. Woodlass invites us to take the red pill and journey down the rabbit hole into a system that must be escaped. There is no spoon!

Trapped in a room for hours. No escape. Suddenly, that urge rears its ugly head. Will the Scholastic Scribe make it in time? Find out in Dancing in the Pain, courtesy of MGM.

What if you could do it all over? A fresh start on life, using the lessons learned from hard experience? This Fall, Mister Teacher stars in the uplifting family film that received 15 standing ovations at the Cannes Film Fest – The Magnificent Five Ideas for Improvement.

20 lucky kids each find a golden ticket in their backpack and win the privilege of being in Michael Mitter’s classroom. Mitter, an eccentric teacher (and amateur chocolatier on the side), holds class in a room where comics come to life! This 3-D masterpiece is best enjoyed on an IMAX screen, but Internet Explorer users may have trouble seeing the film…

Just as “Listy” as Schindler’s, but without the horror and pain! Put Scrafford’s List and Scrafford’s List 2 on YOUR list of “Must-sees!”

In 30 Days Later, zombies run amok in the countryside of Australia! Humanity’s only chance for survival is 5 lessons which can only be learned in the month of May. Can survivor Mrs. D take advantage and prevail?

Witness Darren and his elvish neighbors trek to Mordor (or some local restaurant) to dispose of an evil coupon. Witness the fellowship set upon by orcs, goblins, and teenagers with poor math skills. Witness the teacher yell, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!”

The nation’s educational system is rigged to implode, if the average grade falls below 55. Can Agent Dave Johnston bring together a unified system of standards and assessments? Whooaaaa!
Long before Stallone made it popular, one of our Founding Fathers used to go Over The Top. Elementary History Teacher reveals the ugly truth about the self-proclaimed “Master of Lightning.”

In Mr. Mayo’s Opus, Mary Ann Zehr follows a group of students as they see their visions put to film. Say hello to my little friends’ amateur movies!!

Mission Impossible? Or Metrics Possible? Team Leader Dava Saba takes a team of green-behind-the-ears recruits through the paces and shows them that it’s not enough to have just one or the other.

It’s NOT a tumor! Undercover detective John Holland takes on all opponents of his beloved grade as the Preschool Cop. When the bell rings, the fun begins!

Summer school had always been gratis for Mrs. Bluebird’s Gawky Girl. But this June, she’s about to find out that there’s no such thing as a free ride. Will she value her experience more if she has to shell out the cold hard cash?

One dream. Eighteen Indians. Twenty below zero. Joanne Jacobs, viewer of Cool Runnings, gives her own take on the Olympic dream. Or at least high school graduation.

What do you get when you lock Barack Obama, Arne Duncan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Robert Pondiscio in a room and make them discuss Merit Pay? Why, 4 Angry Men, of course.

Democrats and Republicans drinking coke together. Teacher unions and the Chamber of Commerce in agreement. Cats and dogs, living together. MASS HYSTERIA!! Who ya gonna call? Mark Stock wants to know!

The Italian Stallion is back! The Dreamer Teacher faces his toughest opponent yet, the formidable “Slick.” By the end, you’ll know if Slick is more Apollo Creed or Ivan Drago.

For your consideration: Dirty Joel has 45 tasks and asks So You Want to Teach? Well do ya, punk?

That does it for our Summer Blockbuster Sneak Preview Extravaganza! Thanks for keeping your eyes glued to the screen! Please be sure to get your butts in those seats for each and every one of these high-budget flicks! And tell your friends – links are always appreciated!

We have a winner!

It's time to announce the winners of the uprinting.com business card and brochure giveaway!!

Thank you to everyone who entered and left a comment. There were lots of great comments, and it was extremely difficult to pick a winner from the group. I'm sorry that I can't give EVERYONE the prize. However, someone had to be crowned cham-peen, and so here we go.

First, the winner of the 500 brochures is Lib. That was kind of a no-brainer. Her comment was so detailed, so valid, and so excellent, that I just had to pick her.

Secondly, the winner of the 500 business cards was much harder to decide. We finally settled on Wendy Mueller and her "caught being good" cards.

Congratulations to both of you! Please send me an email (learnmegood2@yahoo.com) with YOUR email address, and I will send you details on how to claim your prize!


Don't forget, tomorrow is the deadline for submitting an entry to this week's Carnival of Education! Bring your popcorn!

5 ways to improve my class

Today marks the beginning of the last week of school with this year's kiddos. We only go through Wednesday with the kids, then we have our teacher close-out (re: socialize and procrastinate) day on Thursday.

Since it is the end of the year, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the past 9 months. It was indeed a crazy year, what with the layoffs, switching positions, getting a new set of kids 10 weeks into the year, etc.

Nevertheless, the move turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as I found that I really like teaching the bilingual kids, and they in turn showed their willingness to adjust and learn from me.

Here is a list of 5 things that I want to try to do a little (or a lot) differently next year:

5) Play games more often
I did make it a goal this year to try to play more math games. And we DID play more, relative to last year. But I want to play even more next year, time permitting. And that's really the problem -- the time. There is SO much material to pack in before the big test, and SO much time wasted by little things like misbehavior and not listening (not to mention slow, meticulous kids), that we often don't have much time for games. However, when we DID have time for them, all of the kids were on task, and they seemed to improve their skills.

4) Do the "Morning Message" more frequently
This was my first year (7 months, actually) of teaching language arts. So it took me a while to get my feet under me and find out what I was doing. OK, who am I kidding, I'm STILL trying to find out what I should be doing! But one of the things I would do about once a week or once every 2 weeks was the Morning Message. This was a short passage -- 2 or 3 sentences -- filled with grammatical and punctuational mistakes. The kids had to copy it down exactly as it appeared on the board and then make the necessary corrections. It was a fun exercise, it helped the kids recognize mistakes, and it showed them part of the editing process. Next year, maybe I'll up it to 2 or 3 times a week.

3) Be more strict about checking the problem of the day
Every morning, we started our day with a word problem. Every day, we went over the steps to working the problem, but I very rarely took it for a grade, as it is mostly for practice. Quite often, I would notice that kids weren't making the corrections at their desks, instead leaving incorrect operations and wrong answers on their paper. I need to find some better way to garner their attention to detail and checking their work. Perhaps this means having them switch with their partner to grade, but I prefer that they see their OWN work when we're grading the PoD.

2) Use more real-world examples
Last week, we started a projet that involved estimating the cost of an airplane ticket to a chosen location. Some kids thought a trip to New York City cost $2, some thought $1,000,000. The really sad thing was that when these kids asked their parents, many of THEM gave grossly incorrect estimates, like $40. Next year, we'll have to talk more about how much groceries really cost, how much gasoline really costs, how much an airplane ticket really costs.

1) Start the study guide much, much earlier
With about a month to go before the TAKS test (so that puts it at around end of March), I had what I considered to be a brilliant idea. Why not make a study guide containing a sample of everything we've learned so far this year?? It was one of those things that just made me feel stupid for not having thought of it years ago. And I really do think it was effective. The kids enjoyed making it, and having free time to study with it. However, I think it would be much MORE effective, and induce much more retention, if we started it from the beginning of the year and updated it as we learned each concept. That way, it would truly be something that they could continually reference and be quizzed over.