As most of you probably know, my good friend Joel, over at So You Want to Teach? is very, very (very times a million) fond of lists. That fact, combined with the fact that I am running low on things to blog about have merged to fit this blog post.
A couple of days ago, Joel wrote a post called "10 things you can do to spend less money this summer." I thought to myself, "Self, since there is a conspicuous absence of Olympic Games this summer, let's come up with our OWN competition. Let's one-up one of Joel's lists!"
And with that compelling argument from Self, I had no choice but to do this. Joel's post is great, it lists 10 cheap things to do over the next few months.
This one goes to 11.
1) Rewatch your favorite movies from your own DVD collection in the comfort of your own home. Repeat until you can write the entire script from memory.
2) Learn a new skill that requires nothing but items from around the house. Juggling might take you the whole summer to learn. Once mastered, try calligraphy, then daguerrotyping.
3) Tackle Pi. Keep a running record of the pesky number, adding on at least 4 decimal places every day. 3.14159 -- that should get you started.
4) Keep a tape recorder by your phone and record calls from telemarketers. Try to be as ridiculous and absurd as you can. See how long you can keep them on the line.
5) Save on food costs by introducing yourself to new neighbors. Knock on their door and say, "Hi there! I'm (insert your name here)! Nice to meet you! Something smells great -- what are we having for dinner??"
6) When you DO go grocery shopping, stick to the dollar stores. They sell food now! Believe me, a one dollar steak tastes exactly as good as you would think!
7) Make those expensive drinks last longer! When you feel like orange juice, coke, or even tequila, stretch out that bottle by adding water to your glass. I recommend 14 parts water, 1 part drink of choice.
8) Forget expensive vacations to faraway locales! Take a local tour that will run you only the price of gas (even better --ride a bike!). Be sure to bring your camera so you can take pictures to remember things such as your neighbor's foot-tall weed, the incredible barking dog, and the unforgettable "Truck parked across two spots at the 7-11."
9) Summer is a great time to catch up on reading, but don't go out and BUY any books. Just make a daily trip to your local bookstore and sit for a few hours, reading all the new novels. Pretty soon, the staff will recognize you as a regular. They love it when people do that.
10) Ditch the hired help when it comes to lawn maintenance. In fact, don't spend time or money on a lawn mower or any other pricey equipment. Just go out and get a goat! Once you're past the initial investment (cheaper if you can score an aging high school mascot), there will be no more expenses, and your lawn will be the best chewed on the block.
11) Hours of absolutely free entertainment can be had by plunking yourself down on YouTube. See the freaky dancing toddler, Bret Michaels getting busted in the face, and of course Professor Darth Vader.
And there's the list. Again, thanks and apologies in advance to Joel. Check out his list, and you'll have a Blackjack of ideas.