Hey all,
It's Thanksgiving Thursday, and I've been fighting off the turkey sweats and tryptophan coma, watching my fantasy football team get obliterated, and I've seen countless commercials for a certain movie, so my blog post title was chosen accordingly.
It sure has been nice having this whole week off, even if there isn't a whole lot to do at the in-laws'. But I figured it's a good time to reflect on what I'm thankful for, and share a few of those things here.
Things I am thankful for:
1) My (bratty) wife, who insisted she be number one on this list
2) My family
3) My little wingnut, arriving in May
4) My job (and by extension, my income)
5) My students (or to be completely honest, SOME of my students)
6) My friends
7) Learn Me Good Groupies (Both of you)
8) My house
9) My health, even when it's hidden under a hacking cough, watery eyes, and enough mucous to choke a walrus
10) Cheez-its
11) Sweet tea vodka
12) The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family
13) Duke basketball dominance
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! And to all a good night!
My wife sells jewelry! Treat yourself to some bling!
I am an Amazon.com Affiliate, and I warmly invite you to shop using my store!
Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial
Join HBO Free Trial
Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial
Join HBO Free Trial
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, June 14, 2010
Top 6 reasons I don't teach summer school
It's the middle of June, and I am SOO enjoying my time off. People ask me all the time if I am doing/have done/ will do summer school, and my answer is always the same. Heck no!
Here are my top 6 reasons why not:
6) I was scarred for life by Summer School, the movie, starring Marc Harmon and Kirstie Alley.
5) Summer school begins before 12:30, my daily summer wake-up time.
4) I would hate to take away the opportunity for a teacher who has worked all his/her life to get a coveted summer school position.
3) If I taught summer school, I wouldn't be able to do my yearly Australian walkabout in July.
2) I once heard that you had to wear a shirt and tie to teach summer school and that there are 35 kids per class, and there are no lunch or bathroom breaks. I made my decision based on that, and my mind can never ever be changed.
1) It just doesn't pay enough. And by "enough" I mean $3.4 million and a private jet.
Here are my top 6 reasons why not:
6) I was scarred for life by Summer School, the movie, starring Marc Harmon and Kirstie Alley.
5) Summer school begins before 12:30, my daily summer wake-up time.
4) I would hate to take away the opportunity for a teacher who has worked all his/her life to get a coveted summer school position.
3) If I taught summer school, I wouldn't be able to do my yearly Australian walkabout in July.
2) I once heard that you had to wear a shirt and tie to teach summer school and that there are 35 kids per class, and there are no lunch or bathroom breaks. I made my decision based on that, and my mind can never ever be changed.
1) It just doesn't pay enough. And by "enough" I mean $3.4 million and a private jet.
Monday, June 07, 2010
9 things to do over the summer
Today is officially the first day of summer vacation! Sure, we had Saturday and Sunday off, but today is the first WORK day that is not a WORK day...
Pretty much all I've done today is visit the doctor to get my twisted knee x-rayed, and played Facebook poker. But here is a handy little list of things to do if you get bored over the next few months.
1) Alphabetize something -- your comic book collection, your DVDs, your credit cards, whatever. Sing the ABC song at the top of your lungs as you do it. Bonus: Leave the windows open.
2) Try out for a reality show. When is So You Want to Be a Superhero coming back on again, anyway??
3) Try out an unusual job. If you live here in the states, hire yourself out as a rickshaw driver or a mountain guide. If you live in another country, seek employment as a naked cowboy.
4) Walk a mile in another man's shoes. I would recommend a man whose foot size is very close to your own.
5) Improve your artistic skills. Start by perfecting the circle, then replicate Guernica.
6) Prepare for the next school year. You can do this by laying out the pair of socks you plan to wear on the first day of school. Consider yourself prepared.
7) Travel. I hear Butte, Montana is lovely this time of year.
8) Every time you receive change at a restaurant, ask if they would like to donate a dollar to the ITF, or Individual Teacher Fund.
9) Get married. Well, at least that's something that I plan on doing this summer. Might not work for everyone with such short notice.
Pretty much all I've done today is visit the doctor to get my twisted knee x-rayed, and played Facebook poker. But here is a handy little list of things to do if you get bored over the next few months.
1) Alphabetize something -- your comic book collection, your DVDs, your credit cards, whatever. Sing the ABC song at the top of your lungs as you do it. Bonus: Leave the windows open.
2) Try out for a reality show. When is So You Want to Be a Superhero coming back on again, anyway??
3) Try out an unusual job. If you live here in the states, hire yourself out as a rickshaw driver or a mountain guide. If you live in another country, seek employment as a naked cowboy.
4) Walk a mile in another man's shoes. I would recommend a man whose foot size is very close to your own.
5) Improve your artistic skills. Start by perfecting the circle, then replicate Guernica.
6) Prepare for the next school year. You can do this by laying out the pair of socks you plan to wear on the first day of school. Consider yourself prepared.
7) Travel. I hear Butte, Montana is lovely this time of year.
8) Every time you receive change at a restaurant, ask if they would like to donate a dollar to the ITF, or Individual Teacher Fund.
9) Get married. Well, at least that's something that I plan on doing this summer. Might not work for everyone with such short notice.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Well at least I haven't heard THAT!
As we enter the 5th week of school (and half my class is out sick -- not to mention the principal, the CRC, the nurse, and several other teachers), I realize that many and most of my posts here on my blog have been negative, complaining, or at least depressing. There's no doubt that I am having a rough year, but this blog is supposed to be about the OCCASIONAL rant, not the rant as norm.
Therefore, it's time for some humor. Or at least some attempted humor.
I thought I'd put together a little list of things that, despite all else, I haven't heard my kids utter this year. Yet.
1) What the heck are numbers?
2) Why is there green stuff shooting out of the toilets?
3) I think I should like to place myself in time-out, thank you very much.
4) This pencil is clearly of the finest quality!
5) What are those 2 lines? (referring to the equal sign)
6) My mom says if somebody spits on me, I should spit on them. (Oh wait, I DID hear that one this morning, from a little girl getting off the bus.)
7) Mmmmm!! Sloppy Gummy Bear Joe for lunch!!
8) Which end of the crayon colors?
9) Mister Teacher, I read your novel, Learn Me Good, this weekend, and it was awesome!
10) My parents let me have coffee and chocolate cake for breakfast!!
11) How much for your whole collection of markers?
12) Does this look infected to you?
13) Is Tequila a noun or a verb?
14) Par-kor!!
15) Let's play Golden Girls! I'll be Blanche!
16) The world is going to end in 2012 anyway, so why do we need to learn math?
17) My mortgage is killing me!
18) Something inside my desk is moving.
19) Kanye West is a jackass.
20) I got that question right. Where are the free hot dogs?
21) Edward or Jacob?
22) I lost a toe this weekend, doing long division.
23) Uh, I was told there would be no math.
Therefore, it's time for some humor. Or at least some attempted humor.
I thought I'd put together a little list of things that, despite all else, I haven't heard my kids utter this year. Yet.
1) What the heck are numbers?
2) Why is there green stuff shooting out of the toilets?
3) I think I should like to place myself in time-out, thank you very much.
4) This pencil is clearly of the finest quality!
5) What are those 2 lines? (referring to the equal sign)
6) My mom says if somebody spits on me, I should spit on them. (Oh wait, I DID hear that one this morning, from a little girl getting off the bus.)
7) Mmmmm!! Sloppy Gummy Bear Joe for lunch!!
8) Which end of the crayon colors?
9) Mister Teacher, I read your novel, Learn Me Good, this weekend, and it was awesome!
10) My parents let me have coffee and chocolate cake for breakfast!!
11) How much for your whole collection of markers?
12) Does this look infected to you?
13) Is Tequila a noun or a verb?
14) Par-kor!!
15) Let's play Golden Girls! I'll be Blanche!
16) The world is going to end in 2012 anyway, so why do we need to learn math?
17) My mortgage is killing me!
18) Something inside my desk is moving.
19) Kanye West is a jackass.
20) I got that question right. Where are the free hot dogs?
21) Edward or Jacob?
22) I lost a toe this weekend, doing long division.
23) Uh, I was told there would be no math.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
I'm on the list, and I can spell!!
Amber of Clear View Education has thoughtfully informed me that Learn Me Good is featured on their recent "100 Best Blogs for Teachers of the Future!" Lucky number 37!
So, teachers of the future that are visiting my blog -- greetings from the past! Thank you for exiting your flying car and your virtual reality program to stop by my antiquated site!
OK, I know that's not what they mean by teachers of the future. And I'm honored to be listed with other blogs such as Siobhan Curious, So You Want to Teach? and NYCEducator.
Speaking of ol' NYCE, he posted a story today pointing towards a lawsuit that a New York college grad has filed against her alma mater. She is suing her college for tuition (except that she spells it "tuitsion") since they have not placed her in a job yet, and she has been out of school for THREE months now!!
Finally, to everyone who is already back in school (DANG!!!), I feel for ya. I really do.
So, teachers of the future that are visiting my blog -- greetings from the past! Thank you for exiting your flying car and your virtual reality program to stop by my antiquated site!
OK, I know that's not what they mean by teachers of the future. And I'm honored to be listed with other blogs such as Siobhan Curious, So You Want to Teach? and NYCEducator.
Speaking of ol' NYCE, he posted a story today pointing towards a lawsuit that a New York college grad has filed against her alma mater. She is suing her college for tuition (except that she spells it "tuitsion") since they have not placed her in a job yet, and she has been out of school for THREE months now!!
Finally, to everyone who is already back in school (DANG!!!), I feel for ya. I really do.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
11 things you can do to save money this summer
As most of you probably know, my good friend Joel, over at So You Want to Teach? is very, very (very times a million) fond of lists. That fact, combined with the fact that I am running low on things to blog about have merged to fit this blog post.
A couple of days ago, Joel wrote a post called "10 things you can do to spend less money this summer." I thought to myself, "Self, since there is a conspicuous absence of Olympic Games this summer, let's come up with our OWN competition. Let's one-up one of Joel's lists!"
And with that compelling argument from Self, I had no choice but to do this. Joel's post is great, it lists 10 cheap things to do over the next few months.
This one goes to 11.
1) Rewatch your favorite movies from your own DVD collection in the comfort of your own home. Repeat until you can write the entire script from memory.
2) Learn a new skill that requires nothing but items from around the house. Juggling might take you the whole summer to learn. Once mastered, try calligraphy, then daguerrotyping.
3) Tackle Pi. Keep a running record of the pesky number, adding on at least 4 decimal places every day. 3.14159 -- that should get you started.
4) Keep a tape recorder by your phone and record calls from telemarketers. Try to be as ridiculous and absurd as you can. See how long you can keep them on the line.
5) Save on food costs by introducing yourself to new neighbors. Knock on their door and say, "Hi there! I'm (insert your name here)! Nice to meet you! Something smells great -- what are we having for dinner??"
6) When you DO go grocery shopping, stick to the dollar stores. They sell food now! Believe me, a one dollar steak tastes exactly as good as you would think!
7) Make those expensive drinks last longer! When you feel like orange juice, coke, or even tequila, stretch out that bottle by adding water to your glass. I recommend 14 parts water, 1 part drink of choice.
8) Forget expensive vacations to faraway locales! Take a local tour that will run you only the price of gas (even better --ride a bike!). Be sure to bring your camera so you can take pictures to remember things such as your neighbor's foot-tall weed, the incredible barking dog, and the unforgettable "Truck parked across two spots at the 7-11."
9) Summer is a great time to catch up on reading, but don't go out and BUY any books. Just make a daily trip to your local bookstore and sit for a few hours, reading all the new novels. Pretty soon, the staff will recognize you as a regular. They love it when people do that.
10) Ditch the hired help when it comes to lawn maintenance. In fact, don't spend time or money on a lawn mower or any other pricey equipment. Just go out and get a goat! Once you're past the initial investment (cheaper if you can score an aging high school mascot), there will be no more expenses, and your lawn will be the best chewed on the block.
11) Hours of absolutely free entertainment can be had by plunking yourself down on YouTube. See the freaky dancing toddler, Bret Michaels getting busted in the face, and of course Professor Darth Vader.
And there's the list. Again, thanks and apologies in advance to Joel. Check out his list, and you'll have a Blackjack of ideas.
A couple of days ago, Joel wrote a post called "10 things you can do to spend less money this summer." I thought to myself, "Self, since there is a conspicuous absence of Olympic Games this summer, let's come up with our OWN competition. Let's one-up one of Joel's lists!"
And with that compelling argument from Self, I had no choice but to do this. Joel's post is great, it lists 10 cheap things to do over the next few months.
This one goes to 11.
1) Rewatch your favorite movies from your own DVD collection in the comfort of your own home. Repeat until you can write the entire script from memory.
2) Learn a new skill that requires nothing but items from around the house. Juggling might take you the whole summer to learn. Once mastered, try calligraphy, then daguerrotyping.
3) Tackle Pi. Keep a running record of the pesky number, adding on at least 4 decimal places every day. 3.14159 -- that should get you started.
4) Keep a tape recorder by your phone and record calls from telemarketers. Try to be as ridiculous and absurd as you can. See how long you can keep them on the line.
5) Save on food costs by introducing yourself to new neighbors. Knock on their door and say, "Hi there! I'm (insert your name here)! Nice to meet you! Something smells great -- what are we having for dinner??"
6) When you DO go grocery shopping, stick to the dollar stores. They sell food now! Believe me, a one dollar steak tastes exactly as good as you would think!
7) Make those expensive drinks last longer! When you feel like orange juice, coke, or even tequila, stretch out that bottle by adding water to your glass. I recommend 14 parts water, 1 part drink of choice.
8) Forget expensive vacations to faraway locales! Take a local tour that will run you only the price of gas (even better --ride a bike!). Be sure to bring your camera so you can take pictures to remember things such as your neighbor's foot-tall weed, the incredible barking dog, and the unforgettable "Truck parked across two spots at the 7-11."
9) Summer is a great time to catch up on reading, but don't go out and BUY any books. Just make a daily trip to your local bookstore and sit for a few hours, reading all the new novels. Pretty soon, the staff will recognize you as a regular. They love it when people do that.
10) Ditch the hired help when it comes to lawn maintenance. In fact, don't spend time or money on a lawn mower or any other pricey equipment. Just go out and get a goat! Once you're past the initial investment (cheaper if you can score an aging high school mascot), there will be no more expenses, and your lawn will be the best chewed on the block.
11) Hours of absolutely free entertainment can be had by plunking yourself down on YouTube. See the freaky dancing toddler, Bret Michaels getting busted in the face, and of course Professor Darth Vader.
And there's the list. Again, thanks and apologies in advance to Joel. Check out his list, and you'll have a Blackjack of ideas.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
