Carnival of Summer Blockbusters

Welcome to the 226th edition of the Carnival of Education! This week’s edition comes at the very end of the school year, at least for those of us in Texas, and regardless of whether or not you are still in school, no one can deny the fact that summer is upon us! Therefore, I thought a fitting theme would be that of the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER.

Below, you will find a preview-junkie’s dream of coming attractions and upcoming marquees. Be sure to give each of them your full attention, and please don’t ruin the movie-going pleasure of those around you with noisy babies, cell phones, loud talking, or links to research paper-writing sites.

From the people who brought you The Terminator, Back to the Future, and Season 5 of Lost – Phil for Humanity takes a look at Time Travel Theories. Good news ladies, none of the theories account for talking animals.

The first time, it was for glory. The second time, it was for revenge. This time, it’s strictly for the Principal. Mazenko’s back, and this time it’s somewhat relatively personal.

It calculates. It does thermal analysis. It even knows all about the day you were born. With a hyper-intelligent computer running things, what could possibly go wrong? Can Bogusia Gierus survive to find out??

The boy who became a man. The man who became a teacher. The teacher who stuck with a union. Tom White stars in this black and white indy.

When a magical book is banned from the schools, how far will the teachers go to get it in front of their students? Join the heart-pounding, pulse-quickening adventure with the Shiloh Muse, only in theaters.

Coming soon, a Travel Channel original documentary, A History of India takes you deep into the heart of the Asian continent and Indian culture. Narrated by Steve Gutenberg.

This I Believe. These simple words will warm your heart this holiday season. Join Patrick Black, and you too will believe.

He’s studying the same things, over … and over… and over… Glowing Face Man is having his own personal Groundhog Day, presenting a new idea for retaining language skills.

It was a race they said he’d never win. It would take tools he didn’t have, they said. This 4th of July, Loony Hiker asks, Should he even try??

Old Andrew is back, and once again his Bad News Brits are trying his patience. Can he get them to understand the concept of Obedience?

Protecting her blog from the scum of the internet. Siobhan Curious takes us into a recent experience with some not-so-friendly commenters with her take on how to handle them.

An unspeakable horror. Millions wiped out in an instant. All because of a bird/swine/killer bee/raging raccoon. This Halloween, say F U to the Flu.

In 2018, the Brains will rise up and take over. In 2005, the seeds for revolution were planted when two young men wrote a book and started a website. See how it all began in this epic prequel to SharpBrains 2: Die Sharper.

Winner of the 2009 Foreign Film Award – Don’t Mess with The Book Whisperer. This groundbreaking movie (subtitled, of course) will make you rethink your literature teaching style. AtlantaTeacher raves, “I laughed, I cried, I ate paste!”

From MTV Motion Pictures (in association with detentionslip.org) comes Save the Last Dance – at the Segregated Prom. This controversial film will leave you thinking.

What do you get when you mix poetry and lollipops? You get In Good Company, the latest computer-generated animation phenomenon from Tracy, the people who brought you Through the Cubbyhole and The Teacher’s Top Drawer.

In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream. But they CAN judge you by a bad, scary photograph. They say pictures are a window into our personality, and Victoria has some opinions on whose windows should be boarded over.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away… A question was sent through the blogosphere. Now, witness the answer in this awesome instructional power of this fully functional, operating weblog! Starring Sarah Robbins, and introducing special guest star, Mister Teacher!

In her stunning vision of a dystopian future, where everyone who opposes difference is stripped of identity and given a number, Diana Senechal will have you asking, “ Change… Why did it have to be change?”

Johnny Cash and the guitar. Truman Capote and writing. Frida Kahlo and art. They all practiced; they all perfected their skills. Now meet Matt Matic and discover the truth about how he perfected his mathematical ability. Brought to you by Tutorfi.com and the number 8.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall…What’s been happening on my hall? With the aid of a magical mirror (voiced by the always topical Pauley Shore), Larry Ferlazzo takes us back through a series of reflections on the past school year. Be sure to stay for a special scene at the end of the credits!

School is like a box of chaw-klits, you never know how many nuts are to be found inside. Popular documentarian Nancy Flanagan takes a close look at where the trend of education is going and who will be running schools in the future in the groundbreaking film Grade Runner.

What do you do when there are only 2 weeks of school left? SHOW ME THE ENGLISH!! Happychyck stars as a half-mad high school teacher whose antics prove just crazy enough for the kids to follow her to glory.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to volunteering… The dog poop hits the fan when Carol of Bellringers steps up for the 15th movie in the Crazy Carol series.

An overwhelmingly high percentage of children showing eerie behavior. Teachers fearful of these strange children. Will Dutch educator Joep survive his tenure in The Village of the ODD?

This movie is for the birds! You’ll FLOCK to the theaters to check out Kim’s review of Henry the Impatient Heron! (No Herons were harmed in the writing of this review.)

It’s 7 PM. Do you know where your Parents are? Mathew Needleman shows us just where he WANTS the parents to be, and HOW to get them there! Open House Night never felt so good!

No one can be told exactly what the ARIS is – you have to see it for yourself. Woodlass invites us to take the red pill and journey down the rabbit hole into a system that must be escaped. There is no spoon!

Trapped in a room for hours. No escape. Suddenly, that urge rears its ugly head. Will the Scholastic Scribe make it in time? Find out in Dancing in the Pain, courtesy of MGM.

What if you could do it all over? A fresh start on life, using the lessons learned from hard experience? This Fall, Mister Teacher stars in the uplifting family film that received 15 standing ovations at the Cannes Film Fest – The Magnificent Five Ideas for Improvement.

20 lucky kids each find a golden ticket in their backpack and win the privilege of being in Michael Mitter’s classroom. Mitter, an eccentric teacher (and amateur chocolatier on the side), holds class in a room where comics come to life! This 3-D masterpiece is best enjoyed on an IMAX screen, but Internet Explorer users may have trouble seeing the film…

Just as “Listy” as Schindler’s, but without the horror and pain! Put Scrafford’s List and Scrafford’s List 2 on YOUR list of “Must-sees!”

In 30 Days Later, zombies run amok in the countryside of Australia! Humanity’s only chance for survival is 5 lessons which can only be learned in the month of May. Can survivor Mrs. D take advantage and prevail?

Witness Darren and his elvish neighbors trek to Mordor (or some local restaurant) to dispose of an evil coupon. Witness the fellowship set upon by orcs, goblins, and teenagers with poor math skills. Witness the teacher yell, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!”

The nation’s educational system is rigged to implode, if the average grade falls below 55. Can Agent Dave Johnston bring together a unified system of standards and assessments? Whooaaaa!
Long before Stallone made it popular, one of our Founding Fathers used to go Over The Top. Elementary History Teacher reveals the ugly truth about the self-proclaimed “Master of Lightning.”

In Mr. Mayo’s Opus, Mary Ann Zehr follows a group of students as they see their visions put to film. Say hello to my little friends’ amateur movies!!

Mission Impossible? Or Metrics Possible? Team Leader Dava Saba takes a team of green-behind-the-ears recruits through the paces and shows them that it’s not enough to have just one or the other.

It’s NOT a tumor! Undercover detective John Holland takes on all opponents of his beloved grade as the Preschool Cop. When the bell rings, the fun begins!

Summer school had always been gratis for Mrs. Bluebird’s Gawky Girl. But this June, she’s about to find out that there’s no such thing as a free ride. Will she value her experience more if she has to shell out the cold hard cash?

One dream. Eighteen Indians. Twenty below zero. Joanne Jacobs, viewer of Cool Runnings, gives her own take on the Olympic dream. Or at least high school graduation.

What do you get when you lock Barack Obama, Arne Duncan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Robert Pondiscio in a room and make them discuss Merit Pay? Why, 4 Angry Men, of course.

Democrats and Republicans drinking coke together. Teacher unions and the Chamber of Commerce in agreement. Cats and dogs, living together. MASS HYSTERIA!! Who ya gonna call? Mark Stock wants to know!

The Italian Stallion is back! The Dreamer Teacher faces his toughest opponent yet, the formidable “Slick.” By the end, you’ll know if Slick is more Apollo Creed or Ivan Drago.

For your consideration: Dirty Joel has 45 tasks and asks So You Want to Teach? Well do ya, punk?

That does it for our Summer Blockbuster Sneak Preview Extravaganza! Thanks for keeping your eyes glued to the screen! Please be sure to get your butts in those seats for each and every one of these high-budget flicks! And tell your friends – links are always appreciated!