Birthday party!

Hey everyone, it's my birthday! WOOHOO!!

And for this special day, I have done a few things. Number 1, I have taken the day off from school. Yes, my neighbor down the street said he was going to picket my house because of this, but even teachers need a mental day off occasionally.

Secondly, it is my quest to finish the 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew before tomorrow, when Lent begins, and I give up soda for 40-some days.

Thirdly, I am using my final 2 days of FREENESS from the Amazon Kindle program to set the price of Learn Me Good down to $0.00. I know that many of you have already read my book, but please please please pass this on to everyone you know who might be interested in having a free Kindle copy.

Now, I'm off to swig some soda!

Welcome, 2012!

Happy New Year, everyone!! Have a fabulous 2012!

To kick off the new year, I am putting Learn Me Good (Kindle version) on sale for --- FREE, starting tomorrow, January 2. The sale will end Wednesday, January 4.

Even if you've already read it, please do me a favor and one-click Learn Me Good and/or tell everyone you know to do the same.

Thanks!

Christmas time is almost here!

Hey everyone,

It's time to get your Christmas shopping done, so I'd like to make available a couple of ideas for your loved ones.

First, I still have a wide variety of T-shirts and such at the Spreadshirt store, including the phrases, "I teach, therefore I am... poor," "Houston, we have a word problem," and "You give math a bad name"

Secondly, I'd love to send you a signed copy of Learn Me Good or Learn Me Gooder! Just shoot me a comment or an email letting me know what you'd like, and I can get them in the mail in time to beat the holiday rush. You'd be getting the author's signature PLUS beating the Amazon price...

Happy week back to school!

It is finished!

Hey everyone,

My "final" draft of Learn Me Gooder is finally finished! Now I've sent it out to a few "editors" for proofreading and feedback, and assuming they don't all say it is worse than Showgirls, I'll be that much closer to publishing!

In the meantime, as an extra incentive to get LMG2 out there even faster, I've decided to put Learn Me Good (1) on sale for 99 cents for the foreseeable future. I'm talking about the e-versions, so that's LMG for the Kindle, LMG for the Nook, and LMG on Smashwords.

If you already have a copy, please tell your friends and neighbors!

And happy 4th of July!

Duh, winners!

And the poll is closed!

Congratulations to the following 3 people for their winningness --

"Janet" -- For the top TWO entries, Mike Untrymann (nearly half the votes!) and Hiram N Firam

"Amanda C" -- For Justin Tyme

"iamjusttiff" -- For Shelby Missed

Congratulations again!

Janet, Amanda, and Tiff, please send me an email at learnmegood2@yahoo.com with your contact info (emails, please), and I'll hook you up with the business cards!

We get mail!

Out of the blue, I got an email from Michelle, telling me how much she enjoyed Learn Me Good, and how impressed she was by my imagination and my teaching skills. Flattered beyond belief, I wrote back that I am not always quite as jovial and patient as my alter ego, Jack Woodson, and that in reality, I often want to bang my head against the nearest desk in frustration.

Her reply was a personal anecdote about a former teacher that was very moving. I asked her if I could share it here on my blog and received her permission.

Here is what she wrote:

I know you’re probably busy as can be but I want to tell you a quick story that I think when times are overwhelming you can use to get you through. I grew up in a small town of Irvington, New Jersey. As I got closer to secondary school, the town started to take a turn for the worse with violence, drugs, etc. Each year that we came back from summer break we would find out that a large amount of friends had moved away with no idea where they went. Thanks to the internet, Facebook, etc. we were able to actually find a vast number of people who turned out MIA from elementary school. This past October we had a reunion, and it was not for high school but for all the kids that went to the same grammar school through the years. One of the biggest surprises was my fifth grade math teacher showed up. Here I am a 44 year old woman standing in the midst of a crowd and the second I heard “MICHELLE MILLER” coming from behind me, I about wet myself because my brain associated my name being said in that voice, with the next sentence being, “GO TO THE OFFICE”. I spun around and about died, my heart went wild. We all gathered around Mr. Knisch and listened to stories of “us” most of the night. He remembered every single one of us and where we sat, and who we sat near, and some of the funniest stories ever. Don’t worry; I’m wrapping this up (LOL). When he went to leave, it hit me!!! I grabbed his arm, spun him to me and through tears and sobs, I THANKED him. I went on to explain to him that through the years if anyone may have complimented me on being a kind person or another positive attribute, that so much of it had to do with him and all my other grammar school teachers who honestly instilled sooooo much in me. I went on to tell him how I carry him and the others in my heart and because of who they were and what they gave I’m a better person (and at 44 years old, I didn’t have to do it for a better grade). J The next thing I knew, me and about 20 others (guys and girls) were standing there looking at one our first heroes and we all had tears in our eyes.

John, when it gets so tough you question what you’re doing………stop!!!! This world is not like it was when we were young and these kids have sooooooo much more against them; with gangs, violence, drugs, etc…. Remember, you may not feel it now but you are a “first hero.”

My thanks to Michelle for sharing this with me (and now you) and for shining a ray of sunshine into what was an INCREDIBLY long and difficult work week.

A sneak peek at Learn Me Gooder

OK, I will admit that I have not done much work on my intended sequel to Learn Me Good over this holiday break. In my defense, I had PLENTY of other stuff to keep me busy. Grading, painting, cleaning, eating, sleeping, visiting (both!) families.

But, I did want to get at least a little bit done, so I buckled down and got some stuff down on paper today. And I thought as a nice little motivator for myself, and maybe even as a little treat for those who actually like my writing, that I would share.

So here is a rough (ROUGH!) draft of a chapter from Learn Me Gooder that made ME giggle. Please don't count off for spelling, grammar, or the fact that it makes no reference to the Heat Pumps gang. All that will be taken care of later. But I WOULD love to hear feedback from anyone who has some.

Date: Wednesday, October 28, 2009

To: Fred Bommerson

From: Jack Woodson

Subject: A Jack of all grades

Hey Fred,

Ah, the blessings of ADHD. I'm speaking, of course, of Big Jack, and the wonderful world of Shangri-La-La he lives in. This is a boy who routinely asks me after tests, “Is a 50 good?” To which I have to routinely bite my tongue and NOT reply, “No, Jack, in fact, it’s so bad that I’m pretty sure it’s going to start raining soon because a 50 usually makes the angels cry.”

Today, I had to keep him and a couple of others in my room during PE because they did not finish their work during class time. As is so often the case, Big Jack weighed the options of labeling fractions vs. playing rocket ship with his pencils, and the fractions were found wanting.

Thus, we were both in my room when Mrs. Fitzgerald's voice suddenly boomed in from the PA system. She must not have realized that I had kids in the room, because she didn't Publicly Address me as "Mr. Woodson," but rather used my first name.

So when he heard, "Jack, are you there?" coming from on high, Big Jack immediately looked up and responded, "Yes!"

It wouldn't surprise me at all if he actually thought God was speaking directly to him, rescuing him from having to finish his work.

"Did I do good, God?"

Last Friday, I gave a test that was taken from the math textbook. These chapter tests often have a question or two that requires a written explanation in addition to, or in place of, a numerical answer. These questions usually just serve to show how poorly the kids can express themselves in written English. Because of this, I tend to make those extra credit questions.

On Friday’s test, the final question read, “A cake has been cut into 40 pieces. Is it reasonable to say that this is enough cake for 32 people?”

If the kids said anything to the extent that yes, it is reasonable because there are more pieces of cake than there are people, I gave them 1 point extra credit. If they expressed their rationale even more clearly, I gave them 2 points.

Big Jack wrote, “No, it does not make sense because the people would get 1 piece only and sometimes I want to eat 2 pieces of cake or 3.”

I gave the lad 2 extra credit points! It wasn’t at all the answer I was looking for, but he did explain his thinking quite clearly, and being a cake-lover myself, I can’t exactly disagree with him.

Maybe there IS a thread of logic somewhere in there after all!

Talk to you later,

High Jack

Learn Me Good made a top list!

My explicit thanks to Dawn Judd of Breakout Books Review. She posted a Top 5 list of the best books that she reviewed in 2010, and Learn Me Good made the cut!

Please check out her list, as well as the rest of her site, and be safe tonight!

A little Christmas plug!

Just for anyone looking for some last-minute Christmas gift ideas, here are a couple involving your friends at Learn Me Good...

1) the paperback version of Learn Me Good is available for only $9.99 from Amazon.com!

2) The Kindle version of Learn Me Good is on sale for only 99 cents through January 1, 2011! And now you can give a Kindle ebook to ANYONE, as long as they have an email address! They don't have to have a Kindle! Check out this page for more details.

3) T-shirts, T-shirts, and MORE T-shirts (plus some sweats, mugs, and mousepads!) are available either at my Cafepress store OR my Spreadshirt store!

Merry Christmas shopping!

Holiday Giveaway!

Hey everyone,

We're getting very close to December, and that can mean only one thing -- we're already looking forward to having time off from school!

Oh yeah, and getting gifts for and from loved ones as well...

So anyway, I thought it would be a great time for a little Learn Me Good holiday cheer.

Here's the deal -- I am going to give away 2 copies of Learn Me Good (paperback OR e-version) and a funny T-shirt from my spreadshirt shop . To win one of these 3 prizes, all you have to do is get somebody to "like" Learn Me Good on Facebook.

Tell your friends and family to like Learn Me Good and to put a comment on the page saying that you referred them. Each time I see that you referred someone, your name goes into the drawing. The more you refer, the more chances you have to win!

I will choose the 3 winners on December 15th. That will give me time to send things in time for Christmas and/or New Year and/or Festivus.

Good luck, and happy referring!

And now a word from today's sponsor

Learn Me Good is today's sponsor for the Free Book Alert at Kindle Nation Daily!

"Kindle Nation Daily Free Book Alert, Monday, October 25: Four Free "Star Wars: Lost Tribe of the Sith" Books to Get You Ready for Star Wars: Lost Tribe of the Sith #5: Purgatory, plus an undiscovered gem: John Pearson's Learn Me Good (Today's Sponsor), and over 100 other fully updated free Kindle ebook listings http://bit.ly/bXKspk"

Hopefully, this will help to boost sales, at least for a bit. Wish me luck!

It's finally here!!

My new cover is finished and up on the Kindle page for Learn Me Good! I am so stoked! It will be a couple of weeks before the paperback copies change over to the new cover, but I still just think this is so cool!!

Cover model

Thank you to everyone who put in their 2 cents yesterday. I really appreciate all of the feedback! The voting turned out to be just a bit rigged though, because after I posted those initial 4 ideas, I found ANOTHER photo that screamed out to me even more. This new cover makes it feel like I'm almost there on the cover myself (hey, that IS what my arm looks like, after all), and I can write whatever I want on the chalkboard.

Here's a sneak peek.

Judging a book by its cover

Hello, Gentle Readers! (As Stephen King would say... Oh wait, I don't write horror. Usually.)

Reader AND Lurker alert! I need your feedback!

I am strongly considering changing the cover of Learn Me Good, at least for the Kindle version, and I have a few concepts that I have been playing with. All of them involve an actual, professional photograph, as opposed to the (very much self-admittedly) amateur cover that currently graces the book.

Below, you will see 4 possibilities for new cover designs. Please note that the rights still belong to the artists at istockphoto, that's why their logo is prominently stamped in the center. You'll have to imagine that gone.

I would really love to hear any and all feedback on these ideas. What do you like? What do you dislike? Which do you like best, if any? Why?

Thank you in advance!

Edit: I added one more to the mix. This one has a male teacher's arm, which could very well be MINE...

Double Edit:  Here are the two existing covers, as of July 2012:

Good luck and good link

School starts tomorrow, so good luck to everyone who is kicking off a new year, whether tomorrow, next week, or sometime in the past!

Also, Learn Me Good is featured today on Spalding's Racket, a British book blog. Maybe people in the UK will start buying LMG, now that they are getting Kindles there!

Look kids, Stonehenge!

Amazon announced a couple of days ago that they were making books on Kindle available to customers in the United Kingdom. This means that if you live in England or the surrounding countries, you can have Learn Me Good on your ereader for less than 2 pounds (or 2 quid, as the young blokes say)!

I'm not sure how much of a hassle it was for Amazon to translate Learn Me Good for the UK readers, but I have confidence that it was done right.

And just in the hopes that this will drive a lot of UK readers to my blog, I am going to throw out several relevant "hot" keywords here:

Buckingham Palace
God Save the Queen
Sean Connery
Blarney Stone
Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road
Firth of Forth
Harry Potter
The Beatles
Brigadoon
Torchwood
Fumbling Goalie

There, that should do it. Welcome UK readers! Check out Learn Me Good on your Kindle today!

Look inside!

A huge thank you to everyone who helped out during my Happily Wed (and Read) Ever After celebration! Learn Me Good is up to 70 reviews now, it is number 2 in the humor category based on the tags, and the sales were amazing in both Kindle and paperback.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am really excited about the paperback version of Learn Me Good now costing only $11.99 -- use that saved 4 bucks to buy a personal pan pizza! Man, how 80s is that?

Also, Learn Me Good has been accepted into the Look Inside the Book program at Amazon, so people can preview a small sample before buying!

All very exciting developments!

For the next 2 weeks...

Hey everyone,

As some of you may know, I am getting married on July 2nd, and so I thought that while I was occupied with everything surrounding that and while gone on my honeymoon, I would have a little promotion with Learn Me Good.

In true Velveta Cheese fashion, I'm calling it "Happily Wed (and Read) Ever After."

Starting June 28th, and going through July 12th, I am lowering the Kindle price of Learn Me Good to 99 cents. I would drop the price completely to zero, but Amazon won't let me do that.

In addition, a new publishing source has allowed me to reprice the paperback edition of Learn Me Good at $11.99 (down from $16), and that is officially in effect!

So during these 2 weeks, I am asking everyone who is willing, able, or just plain bored to please see if you can do one or more of the following things (consider it a wedding gift!):

Buy a copy of Learn Me Good – print OR Kindle
Post a review on Amazon
Go down to the Tags section at Amazon and click the boxes next to Humor, Teaching, and Education
Become a fan of Learn Me Good on Facebook
Tell at least one friend about Learn Me Good

If you have done any of these things already, I thank you immensely!!

And since I'll pretty much be out of pocket for those 2 weeks, I want to thank in advance everyone who takes part in the Happily Wed (and Read) Ever After celebration!!!

Ah, so THIS is why...

Let it never be said that I cannot take constructive criticism. My Publisher's Weekly review -- the one that I "earned" by making the top 250 in this year's Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award -- arrived by owl post today, and I think it just about sums up why I did not advance through to the next round.

Here it is, in its entirety:

This amusing epistolary manuscript lacks shape and any semblance of dramatic trajectory. It consists entirely of a series of emails from rookie teacher Jack Woodson to a former colleague of Jack's at Heat Pumps Unlimited, where Jack had worked as an engineer. The emails document Jack's first year teaching third grade at a public school in a low-income neighborhood in Dallas--an experience that is hilarious, frustrating, and disturbing. Among the anecdotes, a little girl asks Jack how big he is, and it turns out she is referring to his genitals; Esteban screams out his answers to questions and changes his answer every time he's asked, even if he was right the first time; precocious Ariel not only does great work, she critiques Jack's classroom management; and scary kids like Jun'tober have even scarier parents. Jack's emails are entertaining, but about a third of the way through, his relentless joking and constant pop culture references start to grate, and the reader wishes the missive would start to take a direction. Instead, he just keeps joking his way through the school year. The book gets an A for amusement, but when it comes to story or emotional resonance, it gets an "incomplete."




Hey, I never claimed that Learn Me Good had a plot. It really IS just a chronicle of a school year. There is no murder, espionage, low cunning, or even mistaken identity discovered too late. However, in my (its) defense, it was never PROVEN that Jessica actually was referring to my genitals. I'd still like to give her the benefit of that doubt.

Honestly, having written the book and knowing full well that it doesn't really have a plot, I'm quite happy to have received an A for amusement, since that was what I was really after.

TAKS Math is down

Today really seemed like the longest TAKS day ever. Maybe it was because I feel sick. Maybe it was because the kids I was watching were all done by 11:15. Maybe it was because I knew I'd be finding out if my book made the next cut in the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.

At any rate, the first day is down. According to the teachers watching MY kids, they really tried their best. We'll see in a few weeks.

Oh, and Learn Me Good unfortunately did NOT make the top 50. Hey, we started with 5,000, and I made it down to the top 250. So that's an honor in itself. I get a Publisher's Weekly full manuscript review out of it too, so that should be appearing in the next week or so.

Plus, I have another long day tomorrow to look forward to!