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Monday, February 13, 2006

Passing the Olympic Torch


I just realized that the Winter Olympics started over the weekend, so I thought I might throw out a few medal winners of my own, from around the school. Judging is based on a ten-point scale, with any entries from French judges being thrown out.

BEST IMPERSONATION
Bronze -- Goes to H, in the 3rd grade, for his uncanny resemblance to C. Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons. We keep expecting him to wring his hands and declare, "Exxxxxxxcellent."

Silver -- A 20-way tie, going to my kids who act like Droopy, on Valium, immediately after a nap (think about it). Yeah, that's the kind of participation that really gets a teacher all fired up.

Gold -- Goes to J, in my class, for his dead-on impersonation of a stump. I can usually expect more accurate answers and a more animated expression from a blue crayon.


RIDICULOUS BUREAUCRACY IN ACTION
Bronze
-- Goes to DISD, for outlawing any sort of Christian verbiage and symbols during the "Holiday Season," but then giving us Good Friday off. Sure, it's under the guise of an "inclement weather day," but c'mon -- it's an Easter holiday.

Silver -- Goes to DISD, for the whole "all desks must face Mecca" imperative I talked about on Friday (which, by the way, I have not complied with yet).

Gold -- Goes to DISD (A SWEEP!), for prohibiting my partner from teaching today, after a 2-week absence, because her scheduled return date was mistakenly entered as Feb. 17. She had to drive downtown to HR and petition to be allowed to return to work tomorrow.


MOST FRUSTRATING QUESTION ASKED DURING A TEST
Bronze
-- goes to anyone who asks, "Do I have to show my work on this?"

Silver -- goes to anyone who asks, "Can I have an eraser?" (When they haven't even WRITTEN anything yet!)

Gold -- goes to anyone who asks, "What do we do when we're done?" (When they haven't even WRITTEN anything yet!)

Congratulations to all of our athletes and mathletes and wrathletes alike. Bring the gold home to Dallas in '16, baby!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a very talented writer. I'm trying to figure out why you are only teaching math to 3rd graders, when obviously, you should be teaching writing. =) I'm a former DISD teacher. (that's DeSoto though)

I'm enjoying your blog very much. It also takes me back to when I was a TX teacher, including the ridiculousness of some of the situations.

I hope the admin doesn't find your blog...I have a feeling your job might be in jeopardy! =( Good luck to you and have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Former TX teacher!

Anonymous said...

LOL..I'm a dork!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! Sorry!! =)

Mister Teacher said...

Hey there,
Welcome to the board, and thank you very kindly for your warm comments! Don't worry, I have a feeling no admin would be reading this, and any who did would have to have a sense of humor.:)
Happy V-day to you too.

Anonymous said...

I teach third grade too. BUT, it has been my life's work. I cracked up (laughing out loud) while I read your Olympic blog.

I heard of you on teachers.net

Anonymous said...

Holy $#!t... Are you hiding and observing my junior high classroom?!?! Their behaviors are identical to your 3rd graders' behaviors. I have told them that they act like third graders. I now have solid proof...