Well at least I haven't heard THAT!

As we enter the 5th week of school (and half my class is out sick -- not to mention the principal, the CRC, the nurse, and several other teachers), I realize that many and most of my posts here on my blog have been negative, complaining, or at least depressing. There's no doubt that I am having a rough year, but this blog is supposed to be about the OCCASIONAL rant, not the rant as norm.

Therefore, it's time for some humor. Or at least some attempted humor.

I thought I'd put together a little list of things that, despite all else, I haven't heard my kids utter this year. Yet.

1) What the heck are numbers?
2) Why is there green stuff shooting out of the toilets?
3) I think I should like to place myself in time-out, thank you very much.
4) This pencil is clearly of the finest quality!
5) What are those 2 lines? (referring to the equal sign)
6) My mom says if somebody spits on me, I should spit on them. (Oh wait, I DID hear that one this morning, from a little girl getting off the bus.)
7) Mmmmm!! Sloppy Gummy Bear Joe for lunch!!
8) Which end of the crayon colors?
9) Mister Teacher, I read your novel, Learn Me Good, this weekend, and it was awesome!
10) My parents let me have coffee and chocolate cake for breakfast!!
11) How much for your whole collection of markers?
12) Does this look infected to you?
13) Is Tequila a noun or a verb?
14) Par-kor!!
15) Let's play Golden Girls! I'll be Blanche!
16) The world is going to end in 2012 anyway, so why do we need to learn math?
17) My mortgage is killing me!
18) Something inside my desk is moving.
19) Kanye West is a jackass.
20) I got that question right. Where are the free hot dogs?
21) Edward or Jacob?
22) I lost a toe this weekend, doing long division.
23) Uh, I was told there would be no math.