We ended last week with a flurry of assemblies, at least that's the way it seemed. We had the "Cheese" assembly on Thursday, which actually went very well, thanks in large part to the third-grade teacher who presented. She kept the kids' attention, and I think she really got the point across.
On Friday, we had ANOTHER assembly, this time for a PTA fundraiser. And the difference between the two assemblies was like night and day. How to run an assembly and how NOT to run an assembly.
This lady on Friday actually started off her presentation by telling the kids how unprepared she was.
"I didn't know there would be so many people here, so I didn't bring a microphone."
Yeah, next you'll be telling us how you were out of deodorant and didn't have the time to go to the local Walgreens.
Then she attempted to make some joke, at least I assume she thought it was a joke because right afterwards, she followed it with, "I'm dying up here." We're not even a minute into her presentation, folks.
For the past three years, the fundraiser has been for the kids to sell World's Finest Chocolate. It was always the same guy who would come and talk to the kids about it, and he was a really good speaker. He would do really cheesy magic tricks, but they got the kids excited and kept their attention.
This lady was like the Anti-Chocolate. I think she had most of the kids wanting to try Cheese to pep themselves up after being bored to death.
After talking about selling coupon books (or something; I'm still not sure exactly what the kids are supposed to be doing), she made the fatal mistake of taking questions from the audience. Because once one or two kids get to ask questions, they ALL want to ask questions, or sometimes just say something that's on their mind.
"I was just going to tell you, I went to the store last night and I saw green toothpaste AND red toothpaste!"
OOOOOkay, and WHAT does that have to do with selling coupon books?!?
I'd really like to have those 30 minutes back, but alas, I know they are forever gone. Maybe next year, they'll bring back the magic chocolate guy, and Droopy can take some lessons from him...