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Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Stick with the George Foreman, kids
I saw an article in the paper today talking about how the Arlington school district is cracking down on violations of their dress code by disallowing "grills," among other things. Are you familiar with grills? Yeah, I thought I was too -- though I haven't eaten at Burger King in a while. Flame broiled? No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Grills are described as "mouth jewelry," though I'm sure to the users, they have much fancier associated adjectives, along the lines of "six-diamond, white gold, oral enhancers."
It wasn't so long ago that kids hated even the thought of having to wear braces. Yet now they are em-bracing (sorry, couldn't resist) these new accessories. I have to admit, I don't really think that I've ever seen the real thing. I know I've heard the term though, because I've had some kids who have taken their Nestlé crunch bar foil wrappers and molded them down over their teeth and called them grills.
You can't possibly eat with these things on, and I can't imagine that talking is easy either. Of course, some of these kids are hard to understand on their best day anyway, but that's beside the point.
The engineer in me can't help but think about the conductivity levels of a mouth full of metal. I keep getting images of the poor little boy from Poltergeist, and his Braces Gone Wild.
Let's keep the grills in the backyards for barbecues and on the fronts of old cars! And perhaps we can find some other way for our kids to get their daily dose of iron...