Meme of the Crop

Oh no, I've been tagged for another meme, this time by Elementary History Teacher...

This one dictates that I tell everyone 8 random facts about myself. Just so you know, there are THREE random facts about myself that I will NEVER tell anyone! In fact, I don't even know what ONE of those is myself!!!

So here goes, read (and believe) at your own peril.

1) I did the original voice for Lucky the Leprechaun on the television commercials for Lucky Charms. I get half a cent royalty every time anyone around the world mentions green clovers, blue diamonds, orange stars, pink hearts purple horseshoes, or yellow moons.

2) I pay for everything with American Express Traveler's Checks. The people at Taco Bell don't care for this too much, but hey, as Bon Jovi says, "It's my life!"

3) I have an irrational fear of the letter Q and the number 19. I think this resulted from a childhood viewing of an episode of Sesame Street sponsored by that combination that featured Mr. Snuffleuphagus torturing Elmo and pulling out his fingernails one at a time, while The Count laughed and counted evilly. "One fingernail!" "Two fingernails!" Ah-Ha-Ha! (shudder!)

4) My best friends in the whole wide world are Donald Trump and Oprah Winfrey. They ask me to hang with them all the time, and they're constantly bugging me for financial advice.

5) I don't like Sarah Lee.

6) I have seen aliens. Several times, in fact. It's one of my favorite movies.

7) Al Gore is a big fat liar, because it was ME who invented the Internet!

8) I can't count past 7...

OK, now comes the time in the show when I'm supposed to "tag" 8 more bloggers for this meme...

So listen up!

Mike in Texas
RedKudu
Staffroom Showdowns
Lady Strathconn
IMC Guy
Ramblin' Educat
100 Farmers
Ed U Cator

The rules are 1. Let others know who tagged you. 2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves. 3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts. 4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

Good luck, and good night.

YouTube, anyone?

Well, I finally did it. I've been curious to go through the YouTube process for a while now. Not just viewing videos online, but actually creating one, posting it, and seeing what sort of a response it gets.

And here is the result.

My brother and I posted a video today that is goofy, silly, completely unprofessional, yet still somewhat funny. It has absolutely nothing to do with the field of education. However, it does remind us of our early childhood. The video is a tongue-in-cheek review of the movie trailers for the upcoming Transformers.

Please view our video and let us know what you think! And tell all your friends! And tell your friends' friends! But don't tell your friends' friend's friends -- because you probably don't know them very well...

Carnival? ROAD TRIP!!!!

This week, the Carnival of Education is served up Jack Kerouac style by Mike in Texas over at Education in Texas.

There are a lot of great entries, including 13 reasons to hire California Teacher Guy, a Florida principal smoking crack cocaine in his office, and Danish students stripping for their teachers. (That ought to get me some interesting hits from Google...)

After you've checked out the Carnival, please be sure to vote for Mike in Texas and Learn Me Good over at the Blogger's Choice Awards!!

Diplomas and Gorditas

I found a story online today about schools in a Canada district that could have repercussions on their American counterparts.

Ottawa - Canadian students could soon be graduating from "Taco Bell High" or "Wal-Mart Public School" if trustees here go ahead with a scheme to sell school naming rights to corporations to raise extra funds.

That's right, they're following up with an idea that I proposed in my book, Learn Me Good, and here on my blog, about corporate sponsorship. Of course, I just touched the tip of the iceberg, suggesting that the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills be sponsored. But these guys are playing it out a little further, going so far as to suggest that entire campuses be named just like ballparks.

"No one wants to go to Taco Bell High," Ellen Dickson, chair of the Ottawa Carleton Assembly of School Councils, told the daily Ottawa Citizen.

See, I beg to differ. I can already see Sophomores walking around proudly displaying T-shirts that read, "Yo Quiero Taco Bell High School."

In the graduation programs, the tired old classifications of cum laude and summa cum laude will be replaced with Grande and Chalupa. And the me tell you, Chalupa status will most definitely help in students' attempts to get into fine universities such as Best Buy University or College of Kohls.

I'll be keeping my eye on the situation in Canada, because I'd love to hear exactly how much money a school district can make from Wal-Mart or Chick-Fil-A...

What do teachers make?

I totally stole this video from Mike, over at Education in Texas.

All I can say is, "Definitely Beautiful."

The video comes courtesy of Youtube and Teach42.

Sand in all the wrong places

This week's Carnival of Education is up and running over at The Science Goddess's Place.

She has done a great job of tying all of the relevant articles into a nice little narrative. Go and check it out! But watch out for the sand fleas...

Don't touch me!!!

I saw a story on CNN today about a school in Vienna, Virginia (not too far from Mister Teacher's birthplace) that has outlawed high-fives, among other things.

A rule against physical contact at Kilmer Middle School, about 10 miles west of Washington, is so strict that students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Now if said hugging went on for 15 minutes and involved hands in suspicious areas, I could see the merits in this policy. And OK, so you don't want to promote sexual promiscuity amongst middle schoolers, thus the no handholding rules, but high-fiving??? Are you kidding me?

Next they'll be outlawing the whole "Gimme five -- On the side -- In the hole -- You're too slow!" Which quite frankly is a rite of passage to the American schoolchild.

Reasons for this school policy are sketchy at best:

At a school of 1,100 students that was meant to accommodate 850, school officials think touching can turn into a big deal. They've seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes and girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.

What, they've never seen gang signs in the form of physical gestures? Stare downs? Verbal comments??? Will students be required to be rolled in wearing straitjackets and Terminator-esque sunglasses??

Hey "school officials" (if that IS your real name), how about suspending kids who fight, who give noticeable and recognizable gang sign handshakes, and who go around lecherously hugging all the girls, ala Georgie Peorgie!

In other words, don't ban all physical contact -- just ban the improper physical contact! That way people won't be accusing you of being knee-jerks!

Can the lifetime achievement award be far behind?

Today I was graced with an outstanding honor. A fine young lad named Chris nominated this site, Learn Me Good, for a Blogger's Choice Award.

The Blogger's Choice Awards is currently ongoing, and every vote counts! Thankfully, Learn Me Good falls under the category of Best Educational Blog, and NOT Most Obnoxious Blog or Worst Blog Ever (though those two categories ARE available for you to vote on).

If you enjoy my blog, I would greatly appreciate you taking the time to visit the homepage of the Blogger's Choice Awards and cast a vote in my direction!

Unknown Caller

Since I am not teaching summer school, I have been home a lot during the day, and so I have had to deal with those annoying telemarketers more than usual. Sure, I could just ignore them (as I usually do), but sometimes I do pick the phone up and answer the call.

So I thought I'd do a little informal poll here and find out what your favorite ways to mess with telemarketers are.

Here are a few ideas I have had or seen put into practice:

1) I have a buddy who would always hand the phone off to his two-year-old daughter, who was just at that stage where she was able to speak continuously, though not quite coherently, for long stretches at a time. Many a telemarketer got an earful of disjointed facts about Blue's Clues, Dora the Explorer, and gymnastics class.

2) Before the caller can launch into their script, interrupt with one of your own. For instance, if you are initially assailed with, "Hello, Mr. Smith, I have an exciting offer to tell you about!" immediately break in with something like, "That's great, I have something exciting to tell you about too! I was watching this TV show, and it's all about this lovely lady, who is living with three very lovely girls! All of them had hair of gold, you see, like their mother, and the youngest one was in curls!”

3) See how long you can keep the telemarketer on the line while you recount to him the twisting plot points of Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. Bonus points if you can get him or her to listen while you read your favorite chapter aloud.

4) Pretend you can hear the person on the other end of the line. This is the simplest prank to play on the telemarketer, but it can have great rewards sometimes. One evening, I picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" and the girl on the other end launched into her spiel. The whole speech must have lasted for over a minute, but it seemed like she hardly took a breath. When she finished with a request to confirm my address, I simply repeated, "Hello?" The girl launched into her whole spiel again! When she finished, I once again said, "Hello?" And she started her monologue again, I hung up on her. It would've been interesting to see how long I could have held her in the repeating loop, but I was getting tired of it already.

Any other tips or tricks you've had success with? Feel free to share them here…

I'm staying in Dallas

Some of you may have heard the news last weekend that I accepted the coaching job for the Orlando Magic. Some ungodly amount of money over 5 years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. If I was going to the paid to deal with whining, temper tantrums, and behavior issues, why not bump up the place value of that dollar sign?

However, I have had a change of heart. Orlando would certainly put me closer to Disney World, but Big D is where my home truly is. So I will NOT be working for the NBA next year. I have chosen to return to the elementary school that took me in four years ago.

Thank you.

UPDATE:

Since some people seem to be taking me seriously, I thought maybe I should put up this link to clarify...

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2892334

Carnivore? No -- Carnival!!

This week's Carnival of Education is being held at The Education Wonks.

As with any Carnival, there are many fine and upstanding and entertaining entries, and a few seedy ones. All are worth checking out.

On another note, since the school year is over here in Dallas, I will not be blogging nearly as often. This summer, I am going to attempt some serious work on a sequel to Learn Me Good. So I may be blogging every once in a blue moon, but it will not be with the regularity of the past few months. Come the end of August though, I plan on being right back into the thick of things.

In the meantime, anyone who has enjoyed my blogging would really enjoy Learn Me Good the book, so why not head on over to Amazon or Barnes & Noble.com and check it out! And for those of you who have already read it, first a big thanks, and second, I would LOVE to have you take a quick minute and post a review on either or both of those bookselling sites.

Have a great summer everyone!

The wisdom of Solomon

On the last day of school, Thursday, I gave the kids so much stuff to take home. Extra workbooks, homeworks and class work that had been left over, spirals and folders from their desk, etc.

I also had a couple of science project boards that had not been claimed yet. The week prior, I had let the kids get with their science project partners and ask them to take a couple of minutes to come to a decision amongst themselves as to who would take home their project boards. For the most part, the kids were able to come to amicable decisions, and one person from each group took their board home.

But on Thursday, I still had 2 boards from my afternoon class, where the group could not decide on who would get it.

So I told these kids that I would cut the boards in half, and that way each of them would get half of the project. They didn't seem too excited about that, but I told them that was going to be the only fair way to decide this.

I pulled out the first board and put the open scissors on either side of the top, preparing to cut. I asked one last time, "Are you sure about this?"

One of the girls lined, "NO! I want to take it home!" And of course, her partner responded, "I want to take it home!"

So I started to cut right down the middle. (And let me tell you, cutting a science board with a pair of third grade safety scissors is freaking hard!!) I could hear a few gasps of horror as I cut. When I finally presented a half to each of the partners, they didn't seem real pleased.

When I pulled out the other board, one of the girls immediately shrieked, "SHE CAN HAVE IT!!!!"

Ah yes, Old Testament practicality...

So really -- what do you think of me?

Well, I told you I was going to do it, and I did it. Yesterday, on the last day of school, I let my kids write whatever they wanted to about me. I even promised them that I would not look at their papers until they had gone home for the day. (And yes, I did keep that promise)

The writing prompt was: What do you think about Mister Teacher and Mrs. Educator? -- Be Honest!

Many of the responses shared a common theme for both Mrs. Educator and me. We are both mean sometimes, but we are very nice teachers. Oh, and that they didn't like it that much when we made them stand out at recess for not doing their homework.

Here are a few individual responses about yours truly:

“Mister Teacher is the greatest math teacher and funny a little bit.”

“I don't like the way you made us show our work on our work. I don't like the way you teach, Mister Teacher. PS you are nice.”

“Mister Teacher was nice and funny. But sometimes he gets mad and his face turns red.”
[It's true, when I flush and when I blush, I get beet red]

“I like when Mister Teacher shows us stuff like learn names of planets, science, fossils, rocks, materials, minerals, 3-dimensional shapes, but I don't like when his face turns red. No offense, Mister Teacher.”
[If only I turned green, I could say, "Don't make me angry -- you won't like me when I'm angry."]

“Mister Teacher, you really know how to play football.”
[During recess, I had tossed the pigskin around with some of the boys]

And now for a couple of comments about Mrs. Educator:

“I think that Mrs. Educator is a nice teacher and a smart one too. She teaches us how to read and write. She is very pretty. What I like about her is that she doesn't play around and even when she is not looking she can still hear and see you.”
[SO many of our kids did not seem to understand that ability]

“I still like you from my bottom of my heart to the top of my head. Just like a piece of a cake, just a big cake."
[Sweet and confusing, all rolled into one!]


And now for the comments that seemed to apply to both of us:

“What I like about Mister Teacher and Mrs. Educator is they are good teachers and they gave us ice cream and it good."
[This just makes me think of the old Bill Cosby routine –“ Dad is great, give us the chocolate cake…”]

“Mister Teacher is good at MATH. Mrs. Educator is nice, and is good at reading, social studies. Mister Teacher is funny nice hair style nice clothes.”
[FINALLY! Someone appreciates the cowlicks!!!]

“I think Mister Teacher is bad at math he really is bad at it. I think Mister Teacher is good at being nice. I think Mrs. Educator is good at being nice, reading, and writing neatly. I think she is bad at being mean and being funny. That's what I think about Mrs. Educator and Mister Teacher honestly.”
[Underneath this paragraph, she had written “hahaha,” so I hope she was joking, because I'm AWESOME at math -- 26 hours a day, 10 days a week.]

“About Mrs. Educator she's fun, outgoing, pretty, and hard-working. She's a great teacher but too tough on me. See people think I'm bad but they're wrong. Give me what I want and I'll give you what you want. About Mister Teacher he's fun, have good sportsmanship, down the earth, cool, but he's a great teacher he's nice to me and he's friendly. I'm going to miss them (cry).”
[I wish I had started this writing practice earlier in the year, because this kid was a behavior problem, and he frequently bugged the crap out of me, but I LOVED reading his stuff every day! He's the one who ended his first sample with, "have a great day.”]

“This year Mister Teacher and Mrs. Educator were very great because they decided on if I would pass or not and I did and my mom wanted me to pass very badly and I did pass and my mom is going to be very happy at me that I passed and I am glad that I passed too and I'm going to miss them and they were the best teacher I every had at this school they both was letting me pass and they were very nice to me and they were nicer to let me pass. Thank you Mister Teacher and Mrs. Educator."
[Awwwwww, I think she's happy she passed!]

And lastly, the piece de’resistance…

“I think Mrs. Educator is nice. She makes us do fun stuff, and it is easy. I like Mrs. Educator as a teacher. I wish I was in her homeroom.
I think Mister Teacher is mean sometimes. He make us do hard and boring stuff. But he still teaches us good. I don't like his class I'd never liked it I want to go to another class. He is so boring, I only enjoy science. I am happy that today is the last day of school so I won't have to come to this class again. Never. I hate math and Mister Teacher.”
[This actually stings, because I like this girl. Apparently, the feeling was not mutual.]

Thus endeth the lesson. I enjoyed reading what the kids had to say (well, except for that part about hating me), and hopefully they enjoyed it enough to practice some over the summer.

Some other people said they were going to use some of these prompts in their own class. I'd love to hear how things went for you!

You mean that's it??

YIPPEEE!!!!

School is out for yet another year!!!!

Here's my advice to you

Today's writing prompt: What advice would you give to next year's third graders?

I REALLY enjoyed reading my kids responses today. There is definitely a lot of room for improvement, but some of these kids really can pull their thoughts together and write pretty well.

CLEARLY, Mrs. Educator and I got at least one thing through to the kids this year, as it came up in many of the passages today… Do your homework, or else you will miss your recess.

Here are a few other choice excerpts:

“You better study or you will not learn anything in science."

"Bring your homework every day, do not leave it at home and say I forgot to bring it. Do not make an excuse and say that."

"In the third grade you only use the restroom two times, that's in the morning and after recess."

"Keep up the good work and you will reach your goal and you'll become a third grader. Next you will be in third grade like me and you will find what you are looking for."
[DEEP!]

"When it comes to field trips try not to miss them because they are really cool."

“Do not try to talk while you are taking tests.”

"Third grade is not hard like they say."

“And learn to spell words that are hard like goverment, milk way, o clock, teachers, pencil, pennsilvaneya, colorodo, and crayons so that's why you have to learn to spell.”
[gud addvize!]

"Do not talk or play until you have recess or else Mister Teacher will have you stand in a corner or go to another teacher's classroom for 10 minutes or more."

"If you have bad writing practice writing a story or buy a book that helps you write neat. Because you need to have good handwriting in third grade. So your teacher can read it."

“Some more advice would be is don't play in class or talk during class because Mister Teacher will get mad and make you stand in the corner."

And this one, I have to post in its entirety, because it is just fantastic in my opinion. I think it might actually fit more into Monday's topic of “What was your favorite thing in third grade math?” but she wrote it today:

“My advice to next year's third graders is that they got to be listening to what they have been taught. Another thing I will like to say is that when it comes to algebra it is going to be so easy.
Algebra is easy because you only think that you got to do is add. For example F + 8 = 16 -- the answer is 8 which is F. Sometimes it is hard if you see a letter with a two know that you are supposed to multiply. For example P2 = 144. The 2 means square and there is 12 X 12.
Algebra has different types of things to do like in high school middle school you got to find out what a whole bunch of numbers equals to. It is kind of easy if you know how to do little types of algebra.”
[Who knew that a couple of days of the most BASIC algebra techniques would have such an impact!]


All of their responses were really great. But I'm very interested to read TOMORROW'S papers…

The prompt?

“What do you think about Mister Teacher and Mrs. Educator?”

Math -- love it or hate it

I have decided that this week, in an effort to get my kids thinking towards fourth-grade, that I would let them practice their writing skills a bit. I will give them a prompt and about 20 minutes to write on it, and we'll see what they can do.

Today's prompt: What have you liked most and least about math in the 3rd grade?

One of my girls wrote an entire page, only to finish it with the line, "I hate math. I like other things better."

[Hey, at least she's honest]

Another of my children (who clearly needs the extra work on her writing) jotted down this sentence/paragraph:
"I liked adding the leas because it cind of help me but math help me the most and adding just esey to me and it can help kinder gardens and adding is just for little kids and babyies when they get in school and I have fun in math.”

[Let's let the babies add and leave the subtracting to the trained professionals…]

A couple of students had advice/admonitions to offer. One wrote, "There is no such thing as 7:60. You cannot use 60. 60 is a new hour. You cannot say that.”

[Timely advice]

While another wrote, "The least that I like about is dividing because, You should already know your fact family.”

[Yeah, what are you -- some kind of SECOND-grader???]

This one comes to us from the “clearly well-intentioned, but it'll leave you scratching your head” department:

“I like math because it's fun and it's good for your bran and you can get smart and learn to do more fraction math fact you can go to college then get your ageacation than get a job and get money to buy a house for your family and help the poor and you can change the would and help the inacent people a coss the would help the people the server pain and cure people you can be a doctor or baseball player and make money for chairade save people from dieing help people I don't care if they are.”

[Unfortunately, we will never know what he doesn't care about, as he ran out of time. But I just love the fact that you can touch so many people's lives by choosing the paths of medicine or stickball.]

And here’s the one that just made me grin the most:

“I'll liked when I learned multiplying all the way up to the 8. and I liked latest [lattice multiplication] the least. Latest wore me out but Mister Teacher seddle me down have a great day.”

[I'm sure more judges on the TAKS writing test would be willing to give out higher scores if only the kids would wish happiness upon them at the end.]

Hopefully, I'll have more tomorrow! Have a great day…

:)

Calling all lurkers

It's about that time of year when I make an impassioned plea to all of the lurkers out there. Lurkers, you know who you are -- those of you who read but never say anything. While I greatly appreciate your patronage, I just so happen to measure my own self-worth by the quantity of comments I receive in response to posts on my blog.

So I'm asking everyone who reads this blog to take a moment and leave me a comment. Feel free to say anything you like, but if you're having difficulty thinking of something, you are welcome to use the following "generic comment" that I have created for you. Just cut and paste, and add your name to the bottom.

"My dearest Mister Teacher,

You are truly the light of my life. I cannot even begin to consider the option of completing a day without at least one visit to your stunning web site. Your wit, charm, and incredible pectoral muscles send my heart into palpitations of ecstasy every time I read your printed word.

With apologies to Mr. Stevie Wonder, 'I just commented to say I Love You -- and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.'

Sincerely, [your name here]"

That's just a suggestion. Non-lurkers are welcome to comment as always, but you lurkers, now is your chance to come out into the light!!

Mother May I?

This evening was my school's annual International Festival. There are over 60 countries represented by students at my school, so everyone had really gone all out to dress festively, prepare native foods, and decorate the halls with the colors and information about many of these countries.

There were games outside, and food inside. And the fashion show, with kids (mostly) dressed in traditional attire from these nations, was really a lot of fun to watch.

But the thing that will stand out in my memory the most from this night was yet another example of one of my students demonstrating the fact that she has no common sense.

This student, A, saw my girlfriend and me walking around looking at all of the exhibits. So she waves at me to get my attention, and then she yells out, "Mister Teacher! Is that your mother?"

Ummmm, NO, wing nut! Just like the 13 year old next to me is not my grandfather!!

I think that this girl asked me that same question about a friend that had come to observe my classroom back in January. "Is that your mother?"

"Do you have any idea whatsoever how age works??"

It's almost like a twist on that children's story where the bird wanders around asking everyone, "Are you my momma??"

So I just want to warn everyone of this right now -- stand next to me at your own peril. Because if A sees us together, she might just think that you birthed me...

A modest proposal

Today was our last field trip of the year, and I have to say, unfortunately, I really did not enjoy it. My kids were little punctuation symbols, we had a nose bleeding incident that cut our time short, and my patience is just plain gone.

So, rather than go on bitching and moaning for 6 more paragraphs, I thought I'd at least ATTEMPT something humorous. And something occurred to me. I started thinking about athletes’ salaries. They are usually fixed when the contract is signed, but several years back, Ricky Williams -- running back out of the University of Texas -- made news by signing a very detailed agreement. He would effectively get paid by the carry, by the catch, by the touchdown, etc.

More recently, poor Ricky has made news for other things, but at the time, I thought the idea of his contract was pretty darn cool.

So let's apply it to teachers.

Sign us on at some base salary -- let's say $25,000. But we can increase our take-home by documenting events from the following list. Teachers would get paid for every occurrence of the event, not just one time.


Staff meeting .........................................................................................$200

Fire drill .................................................................................................$150

Being pulled out of class to
attend a meeting ..................................................................................$500

Receiving a new child any day
after the first day of class ....................................................................$1,000
-- if they don't speak English ..............................................................$2,500

Parent conference -- on the phone ...................................................$100
Parent conference -- in person ..........................................................$300
Parent conference – w/ irate or
irrational parent ..................................................................................$750

Administering a standardized test ...................................................$250 per child

Child talking back ...............................................................................$25

Child cussing at you ............................................................................$75

Child flipping you the bird .................................................................$50

Child giving you the RING finger
and then saying, "What?!?
It's not the middle finger!
I never flipped the bird at you!!” .....................................................$49.50

Child whining, "They're skipping!”.................................................. $25

Child disrespecting your clothes ......................................................$10

Child disrespecting your hair ............................................................$15

Child disrespecting your car .............................................................$20

Child disrespecting yo momma ........................................................$150

Child threatening to harm you .........................................................$500

Child throwing and hitting you with:
an eraser .............................................................................................$100
a crayon ...............................................................................................$200
a pencil/pen ........................................................................................$500
a book ..................................................................................................$1,200
the student next to them .................................................................$7,500

Child slapping you .............................................................................$2,000

Child punching you ............................................................................$5,000

Child kicking you ...............................................................................$4,000
-- in the nads .....................................................................................$15,000

I'm sure that there are many other things they could be added to this contract. But I think that many teachers would agree to something that followed this kind of format. Heck, if I got paid $25 every time one of my kids cried, "They're skipping!" I'd be able to retire to the Caymans from this year alone!

So kudos to Ricky Williams for leading the way in performance-based contracts. Here's hoping it doesn't lead all of us teachers to smoking joints…

How much for da women??

Last week was Teacher Appreciation Week (which I know is pretty much just like any other week). Typically, this is where students and teachers are supposed to say thank you to us for teaching, befriending, and oftentimes just plain putting up with their children.

Fortunately, most of us are used to not being thanked, so we don't get TOO upset when the week goes by without a word said.

However, one of my little girls -- A -- DID bring me an apple and a thank you card last week, which I thought was incredibly sweet of her. Furthermore, she kept asking me today what I would want for my birthday, because she really wants to buy me something.

Usually, when a kid asks me a question like this, I start tossing out completely random and improbable items. So I said I would like to own Disney World. Or maybe an airplane.

To these suggestions, A replied, "Mister Teacher, it needs to be something I could afford! I only have about $1000 in my bank account!!”

So I said, "Hmmmm… I wonder what I could buy for $1000…”

A answered, “I know! I'll buy you a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader!”

I started wondering aloud if a cheerleader, or any person for that matter, could be bought for $1000. About half of the kids thought that it was possible.

Later, A got ahold of the team roster picture (which that girl is STILL bringing to class, despite all of the EWWWWWWWWWs that it has brought on) and showed me which one she was going to get for me.

I have to admit, she DID pick the one that I would have chosen myself…


In other news, our technology guru and computer teacher approached me after school today and directed me to view my monthly paycheck online. Upon doing so, I was greeted with a very nice surprise. I have been paid for my services as grade chair!!

At the beginning of this year, we were told that grade chair was going to be an unpaid position. This is pretty much why no one else wanted to do it and I got the honor of stepping up to the plate. But apparently, our principal came through for us, and there was a nice little $500 bonus waiting for us this month!

Somebody asked me what I was going to do with my $500.

I told her I'm contemplating buying half of a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader…