Return of the Blogger

Today I have a very special treat for people who have been reading edublogs for a while. One of the original FoLMeGs (Friends of Learn Me Good) has been convinced to come out of "retirement" and write a Guest Post.

Many of you remember the wildly popular Education in Texas blog which surprisingly and sadly went dark last April. I am happy to say that I have been able to keep in touch with its gregarious author, Mike in Texas, and I asked him to submit a post.

Mike's post doesn't fill us in on what he's been doing since Education in Texas or what he's doing now, but it does address a glaring hole that he observes in the national educational system -- the lack of corporate sponsorship in schools. I'm totally with him, and I've posted similar suggestions in the past!

Here is is, ladies and gentlemen, the latest and greatest scribblings from the Blogger Formerly Known as Mike in Texas. The title is, "Corporate Sponsorship, Or Maybe I Should Just Pay A Little Better Attention."

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As a teacher I’m enthralled by anything that is:

1. coffee related
2. free

So it’s my good fortune to have a relative in the healthcare business, where she is inundated with items from pharmaceutical companies, including coffee cups, which she kindly passes on to me.

Many mornings I grab a last cup to drink when I get to work and I end up with several coffee cups sitting around my room, as I usually forget to bring them home.

Several days ago I was having a severe case of heartburn so I asked a student to take a coffee cup, wash it out, and fill it with water. Without really thinking about it I grabbed a cup off the shelf and sent her on the way.

About 10 seconds later my brain realized what I had done; I had just sent a 10 year old girl down the hall to fill a coffee cup emblazoned with the VIAGRA logo!!

At first I was horrified by my own carelessness but then I began to consider the possibilities of corporate sponsorship. After all, I recently read about a teacher who sold ad space on his tests. Many school districts have sold naming rights to buildings, stadiums, sports arenas or even on the sides I’ve school buses. I’ve also heard of people selling space on their bodies on EBay, so why not a little extra cash for me?

Are you listening Viagra, because I have some great ideas on how you can sponsor my coffee breaks. Who would be able to forget, “This stiff cup of Joe brought to you by Viagra!” or “Need a pick-me-up? Viagra!”

Networks are constantly inventing new ways to sell advertising during sporting events, like “Time for the Preparation H Dump Off Pass of the game, brought to you by Preparation H”. Everyday millions of school kids are taking commercial free recesses when they could be viewing a message saying, “This recess brought to you by Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs”.

Why stop with there? I have several extraneous body parts I’m hardly using.
First, there’s my bald head. Are you listening Rogaine?

Then there’s my ever expanding mid-section. As an added bonus I’ll gladly agree to eat more Popeye’s Fried Chicken to increase the surface area available for a company logo.

“Popeye’s! Over 2000 calories per meal served!”

If I happened to leave my PDA at your business feel free to stamp it with your logo before sending it back to me.

You’ll have to excuse me now, the coffee’s brewing and there’s money to be made.
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Reposting, number 1

I've noticed that over at Rookie Teacher's blog, she has been reposting some of her earlier blog entries. I think that's a pretty nifty idea, especially during these dog days of summer, when I really don't have anything new to post about.

So I'm digging back into the early days of Learn Me Good the blog. Back to a time when I didn't have so many readers (only 2 as opposed to my whopping 15 now). So a lot of people might not have even gotten to see this originally. So enjoy.

This was originally published on February 12, 2006.

CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP

As of tomorrow, there will be only 6 school days left until the 3rd grade TAKS reading test. This is the standardized assessment that all third graders have to pass in order to be promoted to the fourth grade. Part of President Bush's "No Child Left Behind" act, this high pressure test has been the cause of more stress than J-Lo's ample buttocks on her jeans. You know, Bush used to be the owner of the Texas Rangers, and look where THEY are. Too bad he never tried to implement a "No Major Leaguer Left Behind."

But here's my thinking. Since there's no escaping the TAKS, and such a huge deal is made of it, why not turn it into something truly productive? Everywhere you look, there are cries of despair over the lack of school funding. Why not kill two birds with one test? Let's get those upper administrators to get out there and drum up some corporate sponsorship!Students in DISD have to wear school uniforms now. Why not use some of that design-free space to advertise product? Hey, if it works for NASCAR, why not grade school?

Here are some ideas for slogans:

McDonalds: You deserve a test today.

Nike: Just pass it.

Trix: Silly rabbit, tests are for kids!

Guiness Genuine Draft: Multiple choice test questions?? BRILLIANT!!!

Cialis: In the rare case of corrections lasting longer than 4 hours, consult your doctor.

Note to sponsors: If any of these slogans are deemed worthy, I would ask for a mere 3% of all resulting profits. Thank you.

Diplomas and Gorditas

I found a story online today about schools in a Canada district that could have repercussions on their American counterparts.

Ottawa - Canadian students could soon be graduating from "Taco Bell High" or "Wal-Mart Public School" if trustees here go ahead with a scheme to sell school naming rights to corporations to raise extra funds.

That's right, they're following up with an idea that I proposed in my book, Learn Me Good, and here on my blog, about corporate sponsorship. Of course, I just touched the tip of the iceberg, suggesting that the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills be sponsored. But these guys are playing it out a little further, going so far as to suggest that entire campuses be named just like ballparks.

"No one wants to go to Taco Bell High," Ellen Dickson, chair of the Ottawa Carleton Assembly of School Councils, told the daily Ottawa Citizen.

See, I beg to differ. I can already see Sophomores walking around proudly displaying T-shirts that read, "Yo Quiero Taco Bell High School."

In the graduation programs, the tired old classifications of cum laude and summa cum laude will be replaced with Grande and Chalupa. And the me tell you, Chalupa status will most definitely help in students' attempts to get into fine universities such as Best Buy University or College of Kohls.

I'll be keeping my eye on the situation in Canada, because I'd love to hear exactly how much money a school district can make from Wal-Mart or Chick-Fil-A...