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Monday, June 05, 2006

Rated X

I saw a really entertaining movie this weekend. It really appealed to the teacher in me, because it was all about a very special school. I recognized a lot of the characteristics from my own students displayed by the students at the school in this film. The same problems, the same attitudes, in some cases, the same freak mutant abilities. That's right, the school I am referring to is Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters, and the movie I am talking about is X-Men 3.
I am a huge fan of comic book movies. I grew up reading Spiderman, The Avengers, Batman, The Fantastic Four, and even occasionally the X-Men. Over the past couple of years, I have been very impressed with both Spiderman movies, and both of the first two X-Men movies. So part three, in my mind, had a lot to live up to. And while not quite on the same level as the first two in the franchise, it was definitely enjoyable. Many of the characters that I really like in the comics didn't get quite as much of a chance to show their skills as I would've liked, but the action was good, the plot was fun, the special effects were great, and lots of stuff done gone boom!
Noticeably absent was one of my favorite mutants of all time -- Nightcrawler -- along with his smelly BAMF clouds. But two thirds of the Blue Man Group was represented, in Mystique and Beast (whom I kept expecting to say, "Go ahead, mutants, I'm listening...")

If you have not seen this movie yet, and you are wary of spoilers, then I would advise you not to read any further on this post...

A stunning and controversial plot point revolts around a chemical analysis of Leonardo da Vinci's painting, the Last Supper. When a layer of paint is removed, the apostle John is revealed to be wearing a large, bulky pair of ruby quartz sunglasses. In addition, Simon the zealot appears to be levitating the silverware on the table. These revelations promote global awareness of a massive conspiracy and cover-up that has been going on for centuries...

We learned that a "cure" for mutanthood has been discovered, and is being used in weaponized form by the United States government. Upon its first use, it turns its target into a hot, naked woman! Now that's my kind of weaponized mutant cure!!

One newly introduced, and poorly underused character is the winged Angel. To the dismay of Buffy the Vampire fans everywhere, the character is not in fact played by David Boreanas.

Another new character, this one evil, remained unnamed for most of the movie, but I'm assuming "its" name is Andro, seeing as how "its" power appeared to be the ability to remain gender uncertain in other people's perceptions. I couldn't tell for one minute whether that was a guy or a girl! And I didn't help that that character was always hanging around with this guy who could make little quills stick out of his body. He also remained unnamed, though I'm sure his friends call him "Prick."

The subtitle of the film, The Last Stand, refers to one mutant's quest to open a restaurant, and finally put behind him the humility of selling food by the side of the road. This mutant, known as The Sombrero (mutant ability: able to wear large hats without looking ridiculous), ends the movie by realizing his dream and founding a very successful chain of X-Mex restaurants. (Catchphrase -- Colossus-size me!)

Please, please, PLEASE! If you see this movie, be sure to sit all the way through the credits so that you won't miss the special bonus scene at the very end. It is a very candid look at Wolverine, singing in the shower, with his hair pushed up into a shampoo Mohawk. When he realizes he's being filmed, he looks directly into the camera and says, "You're still here? It's over! Go home!"


Mrs. T said...

(re: "you're still here? go home) I hope he credited Ferris.
On the comic book topic- what do you think about the Outing of Catwoman?

Mister Teacher said...

*GASP* Halle Berry is gay??!?

Actually, I think that I read in Entertainment Weekly that the new origin story involving the Isle of Lesbos pertains to BATwoman, not Catwoman...
And when I was reading comics, I don't even remember there BEING a Batwoman. There was a Batman, Batgirl, Batmite... but no Batwoman.

StEeLMan said...

Batgirl a Lesbian? Next thing you know they'll turn the Thing into an izod-wearing metrosexual. Where will it end? But if they think I'll succumb to their social reprogramming they are WRONG! I'll stand behind my new hero, Captain Canuck. He won't let me down! O CANADA!