Every year!!

Anybody else faced with this same dilemma?

Sorry, kid...

Here is this week's Learn Me Good comic strip!

We are all superheroes at school. We just can't wear capes or masks...


If you would like to purchase a mug, mouse pad, t-shirt, etc with this week's comics strip, please go to Mister Teacher's store!

Class pets

Here is today's fill in the blank...

If I had a class pet, it would be a __________.

This is crazy

Had fun with this over the weekend:

It's a Trap!

For the Star Wars/Geometry fans out there...

Outside the classroom

Here is the second comic strip in the Learn Me Good series.

I'm always amazed at how excited kids get when they see you outside of the school environment.  I once had a kid practically scream at me, "I SAW YOU AT TACO BELL!"  while several other kids whispered, "Really??  You really saw him?"

Learn Me Good goes comical

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages -- it gives me great pleasure to present to you the inaugural Learn Me Good comic strip!!

For a while now, I have thought it would be neat to present some LMG anecdotes in 3-panel style, as I've always been a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes, Pearls Before Swine, Dilbert, and the like.  The only thing is, I can't draw to save my life.

But over the 4th of July holiday, I was talking with my brother about a collaboration, and he agreed to try his hand out at the visuals, if I would provide the story ideas.  My brother inherited ALL of the artistic talent in the family, whereas I can barely draw a circle.

So here is the finished product!

We hope to have a new one each Wednesday, so I hope you enjoy it and come back for more!

Join "The List!"

After last week's experiment with Entertainment Weekly (which, yeah, didn't go so well), it really moved me just how many people are willing to say nice things about Learn Me Good and to put in a good word or send an email to help the cause.  So I'm putting together a list of people I can count on for support in a moment's notice, and a group that I can email with one click of the button.

This will not be a list that I send cutsie pictures of horses playing volleyball or jokes about hairless Wookiees.  I will send emails only when there is a cause and I need help or I want definite input.

So if you'd like to join the Learn Me Good email list (and please, by all means, let me know if you have a better name for it), shoot me an email -- learnmegood2 AT yahoo DOT com   (don't forget the 2!)

And please pass on the word if you know anyone else who would like to be on the list!

The Great Learn Me Caper

As many of you know, I had a "brilliant" idea last week, and I enlisted the help of as many friends and fans as were willing to help me implement it.

I am a longtime reader and lover of Entertainment Weekly the magazine, and I've always thought it would be wonderful exposure to have Learn Me Good featured in the Books section of that magazine. I am also well aware that the writers of EW are highly unlikely to suddenly pluck a relatively unheard of novel out of the blue to feature in their pages.

So I hatched a scheme.

First, I sent this email to two of the book editors at EW:
**********
Hello, Ms. X and Mr Y,

I know that you typically review and promote books that are published by the "Big 6," but I have also seen a few non-traditional and independent authors working their way into the pages of EW recently. With the rise of e-books especially, readers are showing a willingness to give a chance to more writers than just those named King, Patterson, or Meyers. It's often a lot harder for those writers to get noticed, though.

I am one of those writers, and I'm also a teacher who is on summer vacation, so I have a little free time on my hands. As such, I thought I'd introduce you to my first novel, Learn Me Good.

I've asked a few friends and fans to write to you about Learn Me Good as well.

Learn Me Good is the story of Jack Woodson, a thermal design engineer who was laid off from his job.

Switching careers to be a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.

Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit.

"Jack Woodson (Duke Egr, class of '95) is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers."

"I teach, therefore I am... poor."

Learn Me Good was self-published in paperback in 2006 and has since sold almost 1,500 copies. In 2009, it was published as an e-book for the Amazon Kindle, and it has since sold over 17,000 copies. It has received 185 reviews on Amazon.com, and 126 of those are 5-star reviews.

I would really love to have you check out Learn Me Good (and/or the sequel, Learn Me Gooder) and see if it might be worthy of mention or review in the pages of Entertainment Weekly. I would be more than happy to send you an electronic copy and/or a paperback copy upon request.

Thank you for your time,

John Pearson
***********

Perhaps if that had been the entirety of my plan, the editors would have taken notice and contacted me for an interview. I say perhaps in the sense that it is not an absolute impossibility. In the words of Mr. Spock, though, it seems highly illogical that I would have gotten that outcome from my email alone.

So I asked people to send in their own testimonials to the good folks at EW.

This was the "call to arms" email that I sent out to my willing volunteers (edited to remove email addresses):
************
Thank you again for helping me with this attempt to get noticed by Entertainment Weekly. Here's what I'd like you to do. This Tuesday, July 3, at around noon, I am going to send an email to the 2 reviewers at EW. I will mention in the email that I've asked a few friends and fans of Learn Me Good to email them as well. Please send your email a little AFTER noon CST (if it's later in the day, it's certainly not going to hurt anything).

Please make the subject line: "Learn Me Good by John Pearson"

I've included sort of a "boiler plate" message below the line of stars. Please feel free to cut and paste that into your email. But what will really add impact would be if you would personalize your email by adding a sentence or two (or more, if you are so inclined) including your own thoughts and opinions of the book (and even Learn Me Gooder if you want).

And then keep your fingers crossed that they get in touch with me in a positive light! :)

One more time, thank you so much for your support and help in this endeavor.

John

*************************************************************************************************
I teach, therefore I am... poor.

Learn Me Good is the story of Jack Woodson, a thermal design engineer who was laid off from his job. Switching careers to be a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.

Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit.

Since its original publication, Learn Me Good has sold almost 1,500 paperback copies and over 17,000 e-copies. It has received 184 reviews on Amazon.com, and 125 of those are 5-star reviews. These are amazing statistics for a self-published novel with no major backing!

Please look into featuring Learn Me Good and/or its sequel, Learn Me Gooder, in the pages of Entertainment Weekly.
**************

So that was the setup for my experiment. It may seem amateurish to some, but hey, I AM an amateur!

I knew there was a chance that this might be seen as a major annoyance, but I also figured that seeing a lot of individual and differing words of praise would make the EW folks think, "Wow, people really like this book! Maybe we should take a look!"

And now for the results (at least the immediate results):

There were great results and really bad results.

First, the great results. At least, what I consider great results. There was a tremendous outpouring of support and willingness to help from people who have read Learn Me Good. Over 100 people responded to my original request, and around 40 of those emailed me Tuesday to let me know that they had sent EW an email. Many of those 40 actually included their EW email, and I was truly touched and amazed by the words of kindness, praise, and admiration.

It truly made me feel incredible as an author.

As for the bad news? Yeah, one of the EW editors REALLY did not take things well.

She never actually wrote back to ME, but several people forwarded me the note she had written back to them:
********
Please tell your friend Mr. Pearson that getting 5000 emails like this—filling up my inbox—ensures I will NEVER cover this book.
********

Ouch. On the bright side-- 5,000 emails received! HOLY CRAP, that's incredible!!!

On the down side, I'm quite sure she was exaggerating. By a factor of 100.

Also on the downside, plan go backfire. Big time.

Honestly, I never intended this to be an exercise in spamming the good folks at EW. It wasn't just me, sending the same email over and over and over again. It was a whole lot of different people saying different things about the same book.

Nevertheless, it was obviously taken as spam.

After I began writing this post, I received an email from the other EW editor (who coincidentally happens to be a fellow Duke alumnus). It was quite a bit kinder and gentler:
*********
Hi John, It's awesome that your books have so many admirers! But any way you can call them off? We're getting too many e-mails.
**********

I obliged, sending an email to all the people who I had not heard from. I also sent an apologetic email to the two EW editors, trying to explain that my intent was not spamariffic.

And thus endeth the (failed) EW experiment of '12.

Next week, Rolling Stone? Anyone? Anyone?

Just kidding!

9 months???

I've been wanting to make one of these snarky pictures for a while, and so I finally did!

Carnival of Education

It's time once again for the Carnival of Education, put together with love and care (and intense heat) by Carol of Bellringers!

Help a teacha out?

Hey all,
I am planning a promotional event (stunt) for Learn Me Good in a few weeks, and I really need your help.  This would not require more than a few minutes of your time and a few kind words about Learn Me Good.

If you would be willing to help (and I'm in your debt if you do), please send me an email (learnmegood2@yahoo.com) and say, "I'm in," or "I'll help," or, "I'd love to have your quintuplets." 

I'll send out further details through email later.

Thank you in advance!

Missing the point...

Did you ever find yourself telling the kids, " Please throw your trash IN the trash can, not NEAR the trash can."

SCIENCE!!

I got an email the other day asking me to become an affiliate for this new science program for elementary school kids. I took a look, and it looks pretty good! I think it's definitely something that parents of grade schoolers would be interested in, especially those with kids who have truly scientific and curious minds.

Check it out and see what you think.
Click Here!



“The Amazing Science Discovery Series”
– How Science Should Be Taught To Our Kids

Science is one of those subjects that have so much potential to captivate our imagination. It’s sad that a lot of people think of Science as a difficult subject. It’s especially disheartening to see kids giving up on it as they mature.
Science is a subject that comes naturally to kids. Who knows of a child who isn’t fascinated by dinosaurs or space travel? Questions such as “Why do rainbows appear in the sky?” or “How do airplanes fly?” are just some of the science-related wonders that kids ask about.
As parents, we exert a lot of influence over our children’s preferences. That’s why as early as possible, getting children involved and interested in science can make a big difference in how they perform in school and their overall confidence in their ability to learn and apply scientific concepts. You shouldn’t wait till your child shows poor grades in school. By then, it could be too late. The earlier you can plant the seeds of love for science, the more vibrantly it will flourish.
If you are a parent who would like to help your children discover how fascinating the world of science is, check out the book “The Amazing Science Discovery Series”. This series is composed of 5 eBooks and deals with the Science subjects that are the standard fare for children in the first to fifth grade levels.
The great thing about this book is the easy language it uses to discuss the various concepts that children will be learning in school. It also goes into anecdotes and interesting historical stories about how scientists were able to establish the concepts in the first place. I love these stories because they really allow kids to see Science and scientific discovery as something that they, too, are capable of. The eBooks also go on to give easy and simple experiments and projects that you can do together, at home, to interact further with the concepts that are being discussed.
It’s a treasure for any family to have, and a must-read for every parent who would like to raise kids who enjoy science and are confident in their abilities to excel in this subject. It’s never too late to start, and there’s no such thing as too much encouragement when it comes to science. Our kids need all the help they can get.
If you want to learn more about it, you can do so by visiting the series’ website here:
http://www.amazingsciencediscovery.com

Finish my line!

Now that the big Summer Comedy Event is up and running, it's my turn to take it for a spin!

Finish the line I've provided with something funny, witty, provocative, or bat-s crazy. Do it the best, and you could win a copy of one of my books!

This contest runs from today through this Friday so you have plenty of time to get those creative juices flowing.

If you have a Twitter account, please post your line with the hash tags #finishtheline and #humorcontest.

If you don't have a Twitter account, post your line here on the blog as a comment OR on the learnmegood Facebook page.

10 great lessons

Earlier this week, Joel of So You Want to Teach? put up a post titled "10 Things I have Learned in 10 Years."

This is definitely worth a read! While there are certainly other truths to teaching, Joel's 10 are right up there in terms of importance.  Even if we don't ALWAYS love EVERY student (per rule #1)...

Summer Comedy Event!

Happy summer, everyone!!! Maybe it's just me, but this was an incredibly long and difficult school year, and I am exceptionally happy to be done with it and on to a bit of a break!

Or at least as much of a break as one can have with a less-than-a-month old son in the house. :)

So I've been collaborating recently with some other humor writers, and we've come up with a plan to hold an ongoing humor contest over the course of the summer.

Here's how it will work. One of us will post the beginning of a line on Twitter, maybe something along the lines of "I hate it when my pet lizard..." and you take a shot at finishing the line.

The entry judged to be the best by that week's author will win a copy of that author's book!

Each contest will run from Monday through Friday, with judging happening over the weekend. The majority of the contest will take place on Twitter and Facebook, and ideally, you will be exposed to some great new writers!

The first contest will begin this Monday, June 4th, so check back soon for the #humorcontest news!

THIS is easy??

Yesterday, I began to teach the kids how to do a 2-digit by 2-digit multiplication problem. I began by writing 43X32 on the board and asking the kids to just try to answer it.
The ONE kid who got it right and knew how to do this kind of problem already was the girl who didn't know how old she was, who told me that 5 + 3 was "so very hard," and who often forgets things over a long weekend.
Go figure.

A little experiment

When kids come running down the hall and I shout, "STOP RUNNING!" it has just about zero effect on them. So I'm thinking about seeing how they react to something totally random, like, "NO SMOKING!!" or, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!"
The sheer confusion alone should stop them in their tracks.

Non Sequitors

My day was pretty lively today.  Here were a few bullet points... 

I have a set of liquid measurement containers that fit into one another much like Russian nesting dolls. Today, as I was pulling them out one at a time, much to the amazement of my kids, I kept hearing one of them say, "You gotta be kidding me."
Cracked me up!!

This was how my statement was intended to go: "When we get back from specials, I'm going to introduce you to Gallon Man."
Instead, I got as far as, "I'm going to introduce you to..." when I was interrupted by a boy saying, "Mr. Snowflakes!"

I had a sub for the last hour of class today. I asked her to have the kids take a big piece of paper, create their own word problem, solve it, and illustrate it. I even drew an example of what it would look like.
Just got back to my classroom, and I have 10 products that all have exactly the same word problem--my example problem.  Aaarrrgghh!