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Friday, June 19, 2009

A few movie reviews

I often don't get a chance to get out to the theater during the school year, what with the hectic pace of the academic year. However, once the year ends and I have some time on my hands (not to mention someone to go see things with), I am all about seeing some flicks!

Here are some short reviews about several that I have seen in the past couple of months. The rating system is quite simple, and is as follows:

1 Dry Erase Marker = Horrible, terrible, absolutely no good. Think Gigli meets Battlefield Earth. Stay away no matter what.

2 Dry Erase Markers = Just really, really not very good. I mean, if you're given the choice of watching this movie and sampling dog food, I guess you should watch this movie, but it's iffy.

3 Dry Erase Markers = The movie's not that good but at least the actors tried and the director is really a nice person so he should get some credit for that at least.

4 Dry Erase Markers = This movie was OK. Not great, not super fantastic, but ok. At the very least, there was no spontaneous breaking into song during a sporting event.

5 Dry Erase Markers = GOOD movie! Definitely recommended, and probably not just because there were hot women involved in the filming.

6 Dry Erase Markers = One of the best movies in the history of cinema. Right up there with Hoosiers and Hot Shots!

OK, so on to the movies!

Wolverine -- I give it 4 Dry Erase Markers. I would give it 5, but then I realize that not everyone enjoys the superhero genre as much as I do. Lots of cool characters, lots of cool fighting, lots of cool Adamantium bonding to skeletons. Don't watch this one and then go back and watch X-Men 1 and expect to see an evolution in Sabretooth.

Star Trek -- Definitely 6 Dry Erase Markers. I think this is the best movie I've seen in recent years (or at least since Iron Man). The action was great, and the young versions of the iconic characters were spot-on. Especially Dr. McCoy. Syler makes a great Spock, and the old Spock was great too! By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to check out Trek Yourself, courtesy of Cheez-Its.

The Taking of Pelham 123 -- Saw this one at a Studio Movie Grill courtesy of a free movie pass. I really like Denzel and I like Travolta ok, but I was disappointed by this movie. It was all right, but there are a TON of F-bombs, and some parts are exceptionally cheesy. I did go back and watch the original, 1974, version, and I actually liked that one more. The new version, I give 4 Dry Erase Markers. The original, 5 Dry Erase Markers.

The Land of the Lost -- I am a big Will Ferrell fan, but when he is off, he is off. Semi-Pro was EXCEPTIONALLY bad (2 Dry Erase Markers). Thankfully, he is not off in Land of the Lost. It is not his greatest work, but far from bad. There are plenty of laugh out loud parts, and Ferrell is funny in his goofy, clueless yet pretentious way. I give him and his Sleestaks 4 Dry Erase Markers.

Terminator Salvation -- I had read several bad reviews of this film, so I went in with low expectations. I came out thinking this was a really awesome movie. The action sequences are spectacular, the acting was really good, and the story (especially the titular bit about salvation) is very well done. And not to spoil anything, but, well, let's just say someone makes a cameo appearance and "IS BACK!" 5 Dry Erase Markers for this one.

The Hangover -- I will stop short of giving this one 6 Dry Erase Markers ONLY because I'm not yet willing to put these newfangled raunchy low-star comedies up there with the greatest of all times. But let's say 6 Dry Erase Markers with one of the caps missing. This movie can be summed up in two words -- FRAKKIN' HILARIOUS! If you enjoy movies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Old School, you will love this one.

Up -- The newest Pixar movie lives up to its pedigree. It is simply a fantastic movie. Touching at points, funny at points, realistic-looking always. Can I just say that Pixar rocks? Both of the Toy Story movies are among my favorite of all time, and I really like The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and Cars as well. The animated short at the beginning of the movie is REALLY cute as well. This one gets 6 Dry Erase Markers fo sho.

And there you have it, an up-to-date movie review for the month of June. If you enjoyed this, there may be more to come over the summer.


Anonymous said...

How many Dry Erase Markers for
"Core of Corruption" ?


ms-teacher said...

I can only comment on "Up" and think it is one of the best movies ever. Definitely worthy of six dry erase markers!!

HappyChyck said...

I was a nice step-mom and took the kids to Up the first day of summer break. I cried through 1/2 of the movie! Yes, it was GOOD, but I was more in the mood for Land of the Lost, which I didn't think the kids would enjoy as much. Once I get over the embarrassment of being emotionally wrung out in a packed theater, I'll like it better.

Hangover was a hilarious, funny adventure, but I was kind of surprised by the level of raunchiness. I left my decorum in the car, channeled some testosterone, and LAUGHED!

Thanks for your reviews...I've been on the fence about a few of them and thinking they might be better on video or the $3 theater--I think those might the 4 Dry Erase Markers for me.

Unknown said...

I just saw The Hangover last night as a favor to my husband and boy was I surprised at how much I LOVED IT. I couldn't stop laughing during the movie, at dinner afterwards, this morning ....etc. I cannot wait to buy it and watch it again. So much funnier than I thought it was going to be. Somewhat dirty but so worth it.

Mister Teacher said...

AJ, haven't watched it yet, but I don't think I would rate it with the Dry Erase Marker scale. Maybe a "smoking gun" scale??

Ms-Teacher, it was awesome, and I really liked the short, I think it was "Partly Cloudy" (??) before it.

Happychyck, let me know what you think when you see Land of the Lost. I wasn't expecting a lot, so I wasn't disappointed. It was entertaining, I thought.

Normalm, dirty yet hilarious. Absolutely. The guy with the beard had the best lines...

tom anselm said...

UP was just that... way UP. I'm not one to keep the tears in if moved,and there were so many perfectly touching moments in this movie, I was wiping my cheeks a lot. We took three grandkids to it, ages 6,4 and 2, and they were glued to it.. it was so cool watching their wide eyes and smiles. Pixar is the best. Plan to see Star Trek, and no doubt it will be a matinee. Plus, I got the senior discount going on. No, I am not too proud to claim the age. But still refuse to join AARP, mainly because it sounds like an old guy hacking up a loogie... Tom Anselm

Yvonne Melendez said...

Great review. I really liked Star Trek. I was not a Trekkie but i totally understood the movie.

Melissa B. said...

I just joined NetFlix, so guess what I'll be doing this summer? Lots of chick flix in our queue, though. Can't say I go much for the action genre, but really groove on your rating system!