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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Just think about flowing rivers

On Thursday, one of my little girl's mother's came up to the school to deliver a doctor's note to Mrs. Educator and me. It made for a very interesting read, though some of the technical jargon was a bit over my head.
This is what it said:

K has a functional voiding disturbance which has strained the bladder so that
she has trouble with wetness, holding urine. Please allow the child to go
to the bathroom when she feels the need and encourage her to stay as long as
it takes her to completely empty her bladder. Your cooperation with this is
sincerely appreciated.

A "functional voiding disturbance??!!?" What on earth is that? It sounds like one of those dire side effects that are always listed with prescription medication. Possible side effects of Drugzinol include cotton mouth, snow blindness, explosive flatulence, and functional voiding disturbance.

And we are asked to encourage her to stay as long as it takes her to completely empty her bladder. I guess whenever she is using the bathroom, I should stand outside of the door with pom-poms, cheering, "Push it out, push it out, WAAAAAY out!"

Truly, I don't begrudge someone an actual medical issue. But K is the kind of girl who would and probably will take advantage of this. She was in Mrs. Educator's room when the note was delivered, and coincidentally enough, she needed to use the bathroom as soon as her mother had left. This was around 8:20. Yesterday, when she raised her hand to ask me at around 2:00, she got up and slowly walked past the other kids, grinning and smirking at them like she was on her way to accept the crown for prom queen.

There's already another girl in my afternoon class that presented a similar doctor's note at the beginning of the year. So each afternoon, it's a contest to see which of them will ask first. Not which one will ask -- which one will ask FIRST. Yesterday, after both of them had gone and returned, a boy told me that he needed to go. So of course I had to ask, "Do you have a doctor's note?"


Anonymous said...

too funny

Mister Teacher said...

GASP! Does this mean you are ready to go public?? :)

HappyChyck said...

Oh how sharp and witty you are!

Just be glad that you don't have some nasty middle school girls who will claim them have female issues constantly. They aren't smart enough to know that they can't use that excuse EVERYDAY!

Mister Teacher said...

Happy, there was a girl in my class last year who tried to do that. Almost every day, she would complain about her "girl problems down there."

Mrs. T said...

I am oh so squeamish when it comes to any kind of bodily functions - especially ones that belong to my students. If it's under the hood, they can just go, go, go. Whatever they miss while they're gone, they miss.