Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award

Back around the beginning of this month, I heard about this contest that Amazon.com was holding. They were accepting the first 5,000 pitches from (wannabe) novelists, with the top prize being a publishing contract with Penguin Books and a $15,000 advance.

So I entered, and I started to watch the calendar for the key dates. The first was today, where the 5,000 were whittled down to 1,000 based on the pitch alone. I held my breath as I looked down the list, feeling like the high school kid hoping he made the varsity basketball team. There it was -- Pearson -- Learn Me Good!

I made the first cut!! I'm in the upper 20% Now, they review the first 5,000 words of the manuscript and whittle the 1,000 down to 250 on March 23rd.

Wish me luck!!

The Return of the King

I LOVE taking a day off from school, don't you? You can sleep in, it feels like you're playing hooky, and you can get so much accompished that you usually can't do -- I mean, heck, I paid bills, balanced my checkbook, got hotel reservations confirmed, spoke with a travel agent about a honeymoon, bought some painting supplies, bought a new coat, did laundry, cleaned out my closet, caught up on some TV...

On the other hand, I HATE coming back to school the next day because, invariably, I discover that many or most of my kids were complete jackasses to the substitute and to each other. I find things missing from my desk (a dollar's worth of quarters this time). I find papers turned in with no names and no work on them. I find (usually lengthy) lists of names of people that misbehaved.

And today, I found one kid in In School Suspension.

Why can't I just come back and find one or all of the following:

• A glowing note about ALL of my students.
• Completed work with all steps and strategies shown.
• A winning Mega Jackpot lottery ticket.

A mental health birthday

Today was my birthday!

As a present to myself, I am taking Monday off (thus the reason I'm still up at 1AM). Taking a break from painting the house, grading papers, making tests, etc. Still have plenty to do, but I need a mental health day!

So You Want to Teach?

Sorry, Joel, totally, ripped off your blog's name here.

But, I received an email from Wendy Graham the other day, linking to a post that she put together recently. The post is called 100 Reasons to be a Teacher, and it's worth checking out.

I might not agree completely with the entire list, but there are some good ones on there.

Number 8 -- Holidays and Weekends – Having this time off is a gift that teachers take for granted too often

Number 46 -- Students – Molding Minds – The age old idea of teaching someone something they need to know

Number 80 -- Problem solving – Large and small problems occur and are addressed daily

Intsitute of Hihger Laerning

About a week ago, this picture of Freshman phenom basketball player John Wall appeared online. Note the spelling of his university.

Just goes to show that spelling IS important!

But hey, at least it's not quite as bad as 3 years ago, when the West Virginia Mountaineers won the NIT. Check out their championship T-shirts here. (Hint, they mistakenly left off the final "i.")

All that snow...

Yesterday, as I mentioned, was a snow day here in Dallas. Not a day off from school, mind you, but a day where we had classes with 3-4 inches of snow on the ground outside. This is about as rare in Dallas, Texas as Britney Spears making sense in an interview.

I usually keep my shades closed in the classroom, but I opened one up so we could see the snow falling out in the courtyard. At around 9:15, I had to open several more, because our power went out and we needed the extra light. The power was out until almost 10:30.

In the meantime, after we got our initial work done (in the low light), I thought I'd give the kids a bit of a reward and take them outside to play in the snow. We got all bundled up and ready to go when one of the administrators walked by and said that no one was allowed to go outside.

D'OH!!! They won't even let us play in the snow!!!

By lunchtime, after-school tutoring had been cancelled, and it was a good bet that school would be cancelled for Friday (today). The kids were admonished, in a PA announcement, to go STRAIGHT to their buses and not play around in the snow.

Of course, as I was leading my class out to the buses, and I kept hearing other teachers shouting, "NO!! Put that snow down!!" I kept thinking, "I can't possibly tell a kid not to make a snowball when I want so desperately to make one myself!!!"

As soon as the first bus took off, I was throwing snowballs at other teachers. It just seemed such a waste of good snow NOT to use it!!

Sure enough, today was an official inclement weather day, and there was no school. While awesome in one sense, it stinks in another, because I had ordered some Valentine's Day flowers to be delivered to my fiance at her school. No go on that one.

But we did take advantage of the snow to build a snowman and take a few pictures. And thankfully, we haven't lost power here yet!

Just a regular school day

It's a little after 7am as I write this. I'm looking out the window, where the snow is coming down somewhat intensely, and the ground is covered in white.

Yet school is open today, just like any other day.

Thank you, DISD.

You're entitled to your opinion

Last Friday, I gave a Fact vs. Opinion test, and in my ever so humble opinion, there are several kids who just don't get it -- and that's a fact!

Apparently, "Broccoli tastes nasty!" is a fact to some. As is, "John Cena is awesome!"

Conversely, it is merely one's opinion that "One yard equals three feet," or that "There are 50 states in the USA."

Any Language Arts teachers out there have a great way of teaching fact vs opinion?

How I Became a Tutor

Thursdays are after-school tutoring days at my school, which just makes them about the longest days ever -- second only to Parent Conference night. Come to think of it, conferences are always on Thursdays.

Tutoring has not been bad this year, but my morning class really got under my skin today. There are 19 kids, yet it always seems to be the same 3 or 4 raising their hands and answering questions. When I call on others, they stare blankly at me or they give me crazy answers. Yet these same kids don't pay any attention to the kids who give correct answers. Very frustrating.

We also went on a field trip today. We went to the Dallas Children's Theater to see their production of How I Became a Pirate.

I enjoyed it. We had read the story earlier this week, so it was fun to note the differences and similarities between the two. We'll be doing a compare and contrast in class later, so it will be interesting to see what the kids come up with.

There was a 10 minute intermission during the play, during which 3 kids begged me to let them use the bathroom -- despite my very stern warnings before leaving the school that they could NOT go once we were there. When the intermission began, one boy in front of me turned and said, "Man, this is boring! All they are doing is dancing!"

His neighbor argued that he thought it was interesting, and the first boy amended his statement to say, "It IS interesting, but it's just a little boring!"

Overall, the kids were really well behaved, and the show was enjoyable. I think the funniest reference was on pirate shouting, "We're gonna need a bigger boat!" when a shark appeared off the bow.

Tomorrow appears to be another shirt and tie day. I really miss casual Fridays. We have them sporadically, but not nearly often enough.

Maybe I can just dress as a pirate and say it's class-related...

The fact is, we cannot do that

Yesterday was a very interesting day.

We had a conference with a student's mother who told us that she thought we should put tape over her son's mouth to embarrass him into not talking so much. Though the thought had certainly crossed my mind, it's sad for a number of reasons. First, that she would think we COULD do that even if we wanted to, and second, that she would suggest that WE do it in class rather than her doing something herself.

During class, we were discussing fact vs. opinion. I asked if the following statement was a fact or an opinion -- Mister Teacher is a math teacher.

We all agreed that it was a fact. I then added a word, saying Mister Teacher is a great math teacher.

Many of the kids still said fact, and quite frankly, I was reluctant to correct them. :)

Control in the Classroom

Today we feature a guest post from Nancy Simmons of Online Science Degrees entitled "Controlling a Classroom -- Are Teachers up for It?" This is a post that hits somewhat close to home for many or most of us.

Controlling a Classroom – Are Teachers up to It?

Back in the days when I was in school, I used to look up to my teachers as if they were demigods who could do no wrong. In my eyes, they were perfect and I strived to do my best for them because I wanted to please them in every possible way. It was only as I grew older that the sheen lifted from my eyes and I realized that teachers were human as well. But within the confines of a classroom, any teacher worth his salt has a demeanor to uphold, one that portrays dignity and knowledge. They come across as learned in their subject and wise in other areas as well.

For example, teachers who handle younger students are often able to read children even though they are not trained psychologists. They have a knack for picking out trouble makers and isolating them from the rest of the class so that any impending chaos is nipped in the bud. And professors in college know that they’re not really responsible for the moral behavior of their students and as long as their classes are not disturbed or interrupted, they don’t really worry about their students’ performance.

But even though the best of teachers appear to be unflappable most of the time and seem in control of any situation, there are times when their human nature tends to come out and affect the way they control their classroom:

· When their personal lives are affected: My fifth grade teacher was the best in the business, so when she broke down in the middle of a lesson on the first day of a new term, we were all stunned to say the least. She had always seemed so cool and controlled, never exceeding her limits of friendliness that were couched in a teacher’s veneer. We later learned that her husband had passed away during the vacation, in a boating accident. That was the day I realized that personal tragedy can overcome even the staunchest of us in any situation.

· When they cannot regain control of a classroom: Most teachers know how to control their classes, but when one or two rogue elements succeed in creating havoc and causing a ruckus, things get out of hand and the teacher does not really know what to do. So they resort to shouting and screaming, all of which is to no avail. Then comes the loss of temper and the total helplessness which forces them to sit back and do nothing other than wait for the class to settle down on its own. The only way they can regain control is if they appeal to a higher authority or use their powers to threaten the students in some way.

· When they don’t have the support of the school management: And finally, teachers who do not have the backing of the school management always find themselves at the receiving end in class, no matter how good they are at their job. Troublemakers know that they are helpless, and so take great pleasure in disrupting their classes and causing mayhem.

The bottom line - a teacher must be knowledgeable in much more than the subject – only then can he or she be king/queen of the classroom.

By-line:

This guest post is contributed by Nancy Simmons, who writes on the topic of online science degrees . She welcomes your comments at her email address: nancy.simmons09@gmail.com .

Another candle on the cupcake

It almost passed me by without me realizing it, but today (actually yesterday now) is Learn Me Good's blogiversary!

I started this little thing on January 30, 2006. Hard to believe it's been around for 4 solid years.

Thanks to everyone who has read, followed, tweeted, passed on, etc!

Movie potential?

I was feeling rather vain today, so I Googled my book. I put in "Learn Me Good" and Kindle together to see what would come up that I wasn't already aware of.

On the first page, I found a link here. The title is 3 Kindle Indie authors deserving book deals.

The author of the post, one Switch11, states that there is potential for a movie.

So ya hear that, Hollywood?? Let's get it together, people!!

The new sensation that's sweeping the nation

Today, I overheard one of the other 3rd grade teachers talking about one of her kids trying to smuggle food out of the cafeteria. This juvie wannabe was putting bags of Hot Cheetoes down his pants to sneak them out into the classroom.

I suggested that we had a new viral hit on our hands, along the lines of "Pants on the Ground."

"Chips in your pants, chips in your pants! Lookin' like a fool with your chips in your pants!"

Video to follow soon.

Story time

This week, as part of ELA class, I've been reading aloud a story each day and having the kids complete a small literary element chart. Characters, Setting, Problem, Solution, and Summary.

Today, I read them MY story from last year -- The Million Dollar Test (which can be found here).
I needed another story, AND I figured it wasn't too early for them to hear a story about the importance of showing their work on tests.

They really enjoyed it! In fact, my afternoon class was asking for copies of it, and asking if I could write another story!

I'm thinking maybe I could charge a buck a copy and pay off my mortgage!

Paging Mr. Noodle

I have decided that I shall henceforth teach in the style of Mr. Noodle, from Elmo's World via Sesame Street.

For anyone unfamiliar with Mr. Noodle, he is a character that (apparently) lives in Elmo's window and has a very unique style of interpreting questions. Allow me to give you an example...

Elmo will roll up the shade, "waking" Mr. Noodle (the similarities to a peep show booth stop -- for the most part -- there.) Elmo will then ask Mr. Noodle about whatever the topic of the day is. Swimming, cows, lightbulbs, whatever. Elmo may say, "Mr. Noodle, how do you put on your shoes?"

Mr. Noodle will then do something outrageously stupid, ie, put a shoe in his mouth, making Elmo wonder if he has an IQ below 30.

At this point, unseen kids will join the fray, shouting, "NOOOOO, that's not right, Mr. Noodle!!"

Senor Noodle will then do something only slightly less "touched," such as put the shoes down his pants. Again, the kids will patiently yell, "NOOOOO, Mr. Noodle! Shoes don't go there!"

Typically, Mr. Noodle will perform a third troglodytic act, maybe balance a shoe on his head. At this point, we're all waiting to hear the kids shout, "Are you EFFING SH!TTING me???" but they always seem to be inhumanly restrained.

Anyway, enough of the wikipedia article about Elmo's World. The point I am getting at is that I am going to reverse my whole teaching style and try to Noodle it up a bit more. No more probing questions and accurate answers. Instead, when we talk about Perimeter, I am going to randomly make tally marks and wait for the kids to realize that I'm doing the wrong thing and shout, "NOOOOO!" at me. Then I will start dividing a circle into wedges until they again shout at me.

Maybe I will have more success with this technique than ever before.

I'll let you know. For now, I'm going to post this by touching my monitor. If that doesn't work, I'll turn around 3 times in my swivel chair and hoot like an owl.

You have GOT to be kidding me

Yesterday, we gave an Objective 1 math test. Objective 1 covers most of the basics of mathematics -- all 4 operations, place value, putting numbers in order, rounding, counting money, and fractions.

There were 21 questions on the test. We did absolutely nothing else during class all day. We started the test as soon as the kids sat down. Some kids even worked on the test outside during our Friday recess time.

Still, I had 7 kids who did not finish the test. 2 of them only completed the first 14 questions.

I certainly do not want my kids to race recklessly through a test, answering without thinking, and trying to get done as quickly as possible. However, 2 and a half hours is more than enough time to complete 21 rather basic math questions. In each class, after 1 hour, I made an announcement that people not on at least question 10 were working too slowly and spending too much time on problems, and that they needed to work a little faster to finish on time. I then went around and cajoled individuals who were still on question 4 or 5. I announced a half hour remaining. I announced 20 minutes and then 10 minutes remaining. Did it speed these kids up? No, of course not.

Now, I find myself very torn on what to do. I am sorely tempted to count the unfinished problems incorrect and move on with Monday's plans. However, in addition to making for extremely low grades for those kids who did not finish, I also don't get a true feel for whether or not they actually CAN answer some of those later questions. But, if I devote class time on Monday to finishing, I have no doubt that the kids who only did 14 questions in 2 and a half hours will take the entire class time on Monday to finish -- if then!!

Anybody ever have this kind of experience? What do you do??

Book trailers anonymous

My "infomercial" for Learn Me Good is currently running in a contest over at this site. Voting runs from today through next Tuesday, the 26th.

Please vote for Learn Me Good!

Note: The link has been fixed to go straight to the page that features my trailer. Thanks, Ginger!

Crying? Good!

I love to make kids cry.

OK, I don't really, but I just HAD to write that first sentence. Occasionally, though, I do get a small sense of satisfaction when kids in my class cry. Because it tells me that something has finally mattered enough to them to get some kind of reaction.

On Friday, several kids in both classes did not bring their conduct folders back signed. These folders go home every Thursday, and they tell the parents how their kids have behaved, if they have not done their homework, etc. It is the kids' responsibility to get their parents to sign the calendar page.

When 5 kids in my morning class (and later 4 in my afternoon class) either did not have their folder at all or had brought it back with no signature, I was a bit ticked. So I took those kids down to the faculty phone in our hall, and I had them call their parents and tell them that they (the kids) had not done their jobs and that they were in trouble.

During the course of this, several kids had tearful conversations with their parents, and during the course of THESE, I will admit that my internal voice shouted, "GOOD!! Now maybe this won't happen again!"

Top 10 Reasons I Love Benchmark Week

10) Standing around, with nothing to do but watch kids quietly take a test, is practically another mini-Christmas.

9) Gives me a chance to see how students other than my own can do on difficult, tricked-up, culturally-biased questions.

8) My psychic ability gets a workout when I predict who will be next to ask to use the restroom.

7) I enjoy witnessing Einstein's Theory of Relativity in action, where every 5 minutes seems like 2 hours.

6) It's just about the only chance I get the time to quietly count pi out to 254,000 places.

5) As an army of one, I do less all morning than most people do before 9 AM.

4) I swell up with pride every time I hear that one of my students finished their test in 30 minutes without showing any work -- that's like doing a crossword puzzle in ink!

3) Sometimes I fall asleep and wake to find that I'm a giant blue creature on another world -- watching giant blue kids quietly working on a test.

2) With half the day devoted to testing, and shortened periods with my classes, there's not as much time for the kids to waste each day.

1) There is always the knowledge that next week will NOT be a benchmark week.