2009 in review

It's that time of year again -- the old year is ending, the new year is fast approaching. Once again, I have eschewed traditional Christmas cards, instead preferring to spread my Year in Review across the internet.

I hope that everyone has had a very happy holiday season and that you are with or have been with loved ones. Here is what I was up to this past year:

January
2009 began with my girlfriend Tamara and me playing Wii until five in the morning and then sleeping until around four the next day. We were subsequently treated to a fresh start, as we watched a new president sworn into office, and I managed to obtain a valuable comic book featuring said president and a certain friendly neighborhood wall crawler.

A few weeks into the year, Dallas ISD actually closed for an incredibly rare snow day -- of course, by 10 a.m., it was 70° outside.

February

In addition to the usual greatness of February -- Valentine's Day, MY birthday, Duke vs. Carolina -- 2009 brought an extra bonus. I was able to lay claim to my very own domain name! learnmegood.com just sort of rolls off the tongue, much more so than my second choice – formerengineerturnedthirdgradeteacherblogsaboutlifeobservationsandgeneralstuff.com.

February was also the month that I went ahead and finished Franz Schubert's Symphony Number 8. It had been bugging me for a while that it had been left unfinished, so I broke out the harmonica, the pan flute, and the sitar and completed it with pizzazz.

March

March began on a sad note as the good folks at education.com told me my services as a columnist would no longer be needed. Fortunately, the reason for this was their discontinuation of all columns, and NOT anything I had said about their webmaster's taste in interior decoration.

Towards the end of the month, I experienced a parent-teacher conference night like none before -- parents actually showed up! LOTS of them! One more difference between teaching Gen Ed and Dual-Language. Thankfully, some of the parents DID speak English, so I didn't have to resort to clicks and whistles all night.

April

According to news reports at the time, the H1N1 virus, formerly known as swine flu, formerly known as Porky's Dilemma, was contracted by approximately 98.5% of the population, yet I somehow managed to stave it off. I credit my immunity to an inbred affiliation with the Washington Redskins, providing the necessary antibodies to all pig-related diseases.

With schools (and an entire districts!) closing down all around us, I bought stock in Purell and sold it a week later for a profit of $250,000.

May

As the school year of approach to its cyclical end, we threw our traditional International Festival. This year, the third grade chose to represent China and Ireland. Our contribution of food in the cafeteria consisted of egg rolls and Lucky Charms, and our hall was decorated with pictures of Oriental-looking leprechauns.

On the last day of May, I received an email from a Dr. Clement Okon, the former prince of Nigeria. I don't want to go into details here, but suffice it to say, I will soon be a very rich man…

June

What was quite possibly my greatest year as a teacher -- definitely my best group of kids -- wrapped up nicely, and our long summer vacation began. I figured it was time to look Blanco up on a map and visit Tamara at her parents' home. She gave me good driving directions, and sure enough when I took a right turn at THE light in town (no kidding -- one street light in Blanco!), I was almost there. It was my first time to meet Tamara's dad, and when I left, he lovingly welcomed me into the family by calling me, "just another bozo."

July

With Independence Month kicking off, Tamara and I took a trip up north to the Birthplace of Freedom -- Boston, Massachusetts. We walked the Freedom Trail (all 3 miles!), visited Cheers, and had baked beans. We then took a train down to New York City where we got to see David Letterman BEFORE his scandal. I was also able to score a major public relations coup at the Statue of Liberty by thanking a 17 year-old French girl for her country's gift to mine.

With my days off, I was also able to complete my time machine project. My first usage took me back to Guatemala in the year 888 where I befriended some top Mayan officials who were working on a stone calendar. I told them about the show in our time called "Punk'd" and suggested that they Punk the rest of the world by halting their calendar at the year 2012. When I returned, I observed that our little prank had been highly successful.

August

It seemed like only a four-day weekend, but the 2 1/2 month vacation came to an end mid-August. My question of "would all Dual-Language classes be as wonderful as last year's -- full of hard-working students who really want to learn and do their best" was quickly answered. Not so much.

With many school nights on the horizon, we sadly ended our new summer tradition of Wednesday night trivia at the local pub. No doubt, the regulars there toasted our absence with a hearty chorus of, "Where are those people that never get anything right?"

September

9/9/09 was a major milestone as my debut single dropped and the music industry would never be the same. Combining country and rap, C-RAP is a fresh new innovation and "All up in da pickup" is projected to be CD of the year.

In the latest home improvement project, I had a new fence put in around my back yard. I can now sunbathe nude in peace, though I am starting to question my choice of rod iron instead of wood plank.

October

After nearly 3 years of paranoia-inducing back pain, I finally mustered up the courage to rejoin my beloved volleyball team. Forget going out a few times to lightly bump the ball around; I jumped right back into A League competition. Amazingly and happily, my back did NOT snap in half after the first point.

A few weeks before Halloween, I succumbed to peer pressure and joined Twitter. Almost 200 tweets of 140 characters or less later, my world has not exactly been rocked.

November

In early November, I took the biggest step in my life since switching from 2% milk to whole. On the warm evening of 11/11, I asked Tamara to marry me. Amazingly and happily, she said yes... and my back did NOT snap in half.

A few weeks later, I spent my first Thanksgiving away from the family since college, choosing to spend it down in Blanco with my future in-laws. Away from home, I didn't dare stuff myself as much as usual, so I went the whole day without suffering from tryptophan overload or the dreaded "Turkey sweats."

December

Dad and I got tickets to the inaugural college basketball game at the new Cowboys Stadium, AKA Jerry world, AKA The Death Star, AKA The Hall of Doom. We were treated to the always lovely sight of Carolina being handed a loss. Wearing our Duke T-shirts with pride, we overheard several people say, "Wow, those guys came a long way to see this game!" Yeah, all the way from the other side of Arlington, buddy!

Once again proving itself to be totally insane, the Texas weather went from 75° at four o'clock on December 23 -- Christmas Movie Marathon Night -- to 28° at 11 o'clock the next morning. Complete with snowfall that turned the ground white. There's a Bing Crosby joke in there somewhere, but needless to say, our white Christmas was a wonderful one, complete with Mom's surprise gift of a Wii to the grandkids.

So 2009 came full circle, beginning AND ending with much playing of the Wii. Of course, my fake bowling improved quite a bit in the year between.

Here's to a very merry 2010!! Go Blue Devils!

Time for an update!

The in thing nowadays seems to be sending out a mass mailing with a personal update for the entire year, so I have officially jumped on the bandwagon and gotten with the program! Just in time for the year 2009, I present to you, friends, family, and random surfers:

The year 2008 in review -- Mister Teacher Style!

January -- The year 2008 began with a bang, as I watched a beaten, bloodied man single-handedly kill four criminals. Of course that's because we stopped Die Hard with a Vengeance at midnight to watch the ball drop and then finished the movie a few minutes later.

Texas's bizarre weather patterns held true to form in January as one morning saw us throwing snowballs at kids as they were dropped off at school, while the afternoon found us baking in 80° heat.

February -- On the 21st of this greatest of months, I turned the big 3-5. Par the course, I lost two toes, my waist increased 8 inches, and my kidneys fell out. That's normal, right?

On February 29 of this very special Leap Year, while using my Fisher-Price "My First Microscope," I discovered a new subatomic particle and named it the "Dude." Time to loosen up, Cal Tech nerds.

March -- As we bewore the Ides of March, my nephew Josh turned one and spoke his first word. We were all sitting around the TV, watching the March Madness tourney when Josh crawled over to the center of the room, pointed at the screen, and said, "Krzyzewski!" I love that kid.

March was the month I got rich, as I received e-mails informing me that I had won, in succession, the Irish National Lottery, the UK Lottery, AND pills to make part of me much larger! I have yet to actually see any money (or growth), but I remain an eternal optimist.

April -- During the first weekend of April, my dad and I drove down to San Antonio to attend the men's college basketball Final Four. Our seats were roughly a mile from the court; nevertheless, we were treated to the most beautiful sight of Kansas outrightly SPANKING the University of North Carolina. (Not to mention the beautiful sight of a certain redheaded cheerleader.) Kansas would go on to win the whole shebang -- in overtime no less -- so we really got the most for our ticket price.

Easter came, and with it the end of Lent. I had given up soft drinks, so after Mass on Easter Sunday, I drank approximately 10 gallons of Mountain Dew.

May -- On a particularly memorable Memorial Day, I wound up getting trapped in the bathroom at my parents' house! My nephew Ethan is the founding member of the local "Pee Pee Patrol," whose duties include waiting until someone is in the restroom and then banging on the door, rattling the doorknob, and shouting, "You Finished??" every three seconds.

On this special occasion, his efforts actually jammed the door shut, and I was locked in the bathroom for what seemed like six hours. I eventually wound up having to take the door off its hinges (with the aid of some tools passed to me under the door), but not before gnawing my elbows off from the hunger.

June -- In early June, a very long school year finally ended, and there was much rejoicing. As the final school bus rolled, some teachers were shooting off pistols into the air, while others loudly chanted, "NANANANA, NANANANA, HEYHEYHEY, GOODBYE!!"

A week later, I was a contestant on a brand new game show called Whatta Ya Think? a show combining memory skills, math reasoning, and logical deduction. Needless to say, I totally rocked the competition and won myself a year of free massages and vitamins. Unfortunately, this game show has yet to actually be televised, so no one can witness my mental domination.

My eyes remain on the ultimate goal. Jeopardy! You WILL be mine!!

July -- A very busy month! First, the family and I made a road trip to Destin, Florida to enjoy the sandy beaches, cool water, and orange Speedos. A few days after returning from Florida, I flew out to California with a buddy to attend San Diego's Comic-Con 2008. That was a lot of fun, as we got to see Stan Lee, the cast of Heroes, and about 25 Princess Leias in gold bikinis.

In the midst of all this chaos, I tried a new shampoo, and the right side tingled. That means it's working!

August -- In August, the unheard of was actually heard of! I met a good-looking girl my age at a staff development workshop! Well, the workshop was actually at the end of July, but we started dating in August. As I write this, it's almost January, and we're still going strong. I have yet to find the chance to sit her down and force her to watch any of the Star Wars movies, but the day will come. Watch them intently, she shall.

At the end of the month, the new school year began. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself with two classes of only 12 students each. Good thing, since my new classroom is roughly the size of an airport men's room (but smells slightly better).

September -- In August, fresh off my return from Comic-Con and facing an imminent return to academia, I decided to combine the two. The result was a YouTube video titled, "Darth Vader Explains the Pythagorean Theorem." In September, a writer at the online version of The London Times got a whiff of my project and began spreading the word around her tiny island. Almost overnight, the video went from 300 views to 30,000 views.

With results like that, I am almost forced to continue the streak with videos such as, "Han Solo Demonstrates a Fourier Transform" and, "Boba Fett Discusses Unified String Theory."

October -- October proved to be a crazy month as my employer, DISD, empirically showed the value of having a math education, or rather the consequences of NOT having one. Turns out, they had hired 700-some new teachers but neglected to include 700-some new salaries in the budget. Low and behold, they found themselves over $40 million in the hole! Their solution? Why, fire teachers, of course!

Thankfully, I survived the layoffs, but eight weeks into the school year, I found myself in a new class, with 41 new kids (including three who don't speak English), a new partner, and a new subject to teach. At least I didn't get moved to kindergarten! (It's not a tumor!)

This month also saw the one-year mile-marker for me as a columnist for Education.com. As a special surprise honor to commemorate the event, I treated myself to a Slurpee. Cherry!

November -- In November, my nephew Ethan turned four, and we were all invited to his themed birthday party. Adding the honorific, "Indiana Jones" to his name now brings it to, "Ethan Steele Pearson Spiderman Indiana Jones." Good luck, future teachers.

We opted not to do the Turkey Trot 5K this year, instead preferring to participate in the Turkey Sleep-in of '08. It was an overwhelming success.

November was a very good month for my book, Learn Me Good, as it sold 30 copies online and 40 or so copies off-line! We're still not as successful as Everybody Poops, but we're getting there!

December -- After having just been there in September, Mom and Dad got the urge to go back to Disney World and take the whole family. So I took three days off from school on the week before Christmas break, claiming temporary leprosy, and I went to the Happiest Place on Earth!

My two nephews had a blast meeting the costumed characters, and we had a blast watching their reactions. But I think we all know who the Little Mermaid was REALLY winking at.

Later in the month, we followed the usual -- the wildly popular Christmas movie marathon, a rousing midnight Mass (still at midnight!), and waking up Christmas afternoon to greet the day.

And that brings us up to speed! 2009 is right around the corner, with new adventures and experiences awaiting all of us!

Happy New Year to everyone!