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Sunday, April 05, 2009

The New Revised Teacher's Dictionary

Over the past year or so, I've either heard or thought of a few terms that relate to my job as a teacher that don't necessarily apply to people outside of the education field. With that in mind, I thought it might be a good idea to start to jot these words and their definitions down into the beginings of a Webster's-esque tome.

It's not much, but I now present the few words that form the opening salvo of this Teacher's Dictionary. Feel free to add to it any terms that you have heard or thought of yourself!

"Choir practice" -- Code name for after-hours meetings held by some teachers, typically on Fridays, in an establishment where discussions are held, friendships are strengthened, and alcoholic beverages may or may not be consumed. See also TEAM BUILDING, GROUP MENTORING, and GARDENING WITH GRANDMA.

"DJing" -- The very annoying practice of some administrators, when using the school's Public Address system, of droning on and on, as many morning DJs do on the radio. What should be a 30 second announcement turns into a 6 minute beat-down as the speaker feels the need to comment extensively on the short announcement.

"gradecation" -- Taking a day off merely for the purpose of catching up on grading papers. Gradecations are typically NOT fun.

"maximum kiddage" -- The largest amount of students that can fit in a certain area. When planning for pull-out math tutoring, I tried to give each small group maximum kiddage so as to get the most children covered.

"milk carton photo" -- A student who is consistently absent or missing from class. Similar to the "Have you seen me?" photos on the side of a milk carton, but with less calcium enrichment.

"repeat customer" -- A student who has been retained for another year. Some kids just like 3rd grade so much they want another shot at it.

A small beginning, I know. But perhaps in time, this will grow to be worthy of its own internet page. Let the submissions begin!!


Meg said...

oooh! I have one!

meanderthal 1) n. A dull-witted student moving through his workbook at his own special pace. 2) v. The behavior of such a student.

Usage: John’s parents were so wealthy and well-connected that he meaderthaled through three years of English with perfect grades.

Mrs. H said...

In our math department, we call "Choir Practice", "Book Club". As in, "Mrs H, will you be coming to the book club meeting Friday afternoon right after school?"

Mrs H: "Why of course, I would never dream of missing book club. They serve such delicious and refreshing beverages and my mind is always so stimulated when I leave."

Columbia Lily said...

Ha! In our district, we call "choir practice" a "safety meeting," as in "I must attend a safety meeting right after school today or Johnny will be missing a finger tomorrow."

PS...should I see it as a sign that my word verification is "diedead?" Not kidding.

HappyChyck said...

Oh! Those are so wonderful! I'll be sure to use them at least for my own entertainment.

I don't think we have a term like "choir practice." I think we call it happy hour or just say truthfully what we're doing and where we're going. I think my coworkers are kind of hardcore that way. And when I say, "Oh, it's going to be a vodka night!" it's not code for anything else...Boring.

Anonymous said...

We call them Bored Meetings. Stepping to the door of your partner in crime to ask, "Aren't you on the agenda for the Bored Meeting after school tomorrow?" impresses the heck out of a class of angst-ridden adolescents.

Mister Teacher said...

Interesting how the "choir practice" entry is the one getting the most attention... Universal, can we say? ;)

I've already had a few other suggestions (in addition to Meg's) from the good folk at the a to z teacher stuff forums:

"frequent fliers" -- kids who are constantly in detention.

"wasted snow" -- snow which, had it occurred overnight before a school day (as it SHOULD HAVE!), would have led to a snow day.
[obviously, we don't use that term here in TX.]

[my favorite suggestion]
"Maximum input, minimum output (MIMO)" : The process where you as the teacher pour your heart out into your lessons while your students sit like bumps on a log, maybe grunting occassionally.

Jason said...

Don't forget REPITEACHING!!


Lines (li.nes) n. 1. Phrases assigned to disorderly students in a hope that they will get a clue and refrain from misbehavior 2. A cluster of students waiting for something such as lunch. Is usually single or double file, but sometimes paople group up. 3. The mathematical term. It is something that never ends and is commonly mixed up with line segments

USAGE: 1.Little Johnny had to write lines because he wouldn't stop disrupting math class.

2. There are two lunch lines- one has pizza; the other has gumbo.

3. A line nevr ends; a line segment does.

Mrs. T said...

Oxygen vampires: students who do nothing but suck air and take up space.

Kate Nowak said...

Hm we call choir practice a "Faculty Meeting" (with air quotes). We also have "The Shot Clinic" (the "Faculty Meeting" that takes place right after parents' night.)

I have an addition:

"Kinko's" - the cafeteria. (self explanatory)

Anonymous said...

Non-ACT vocabulary: I work in remedial math with juniors who need help before taking the ACT. This week, one of the students asked me the meaning of a word. Let's just say it was a surprise to me and was not something that I think will be found on the ACT.

Kate Nowak said...

Sorry, I guess it's not self-explanatory! The cafeteria is "Kinko's" because that's where all the homework gets copied.