If you're bored, then you're boring

I had a moment in class today where I totally busted out laughing. I just couldn't hold it in.

I was having the kids go up to the board to show how they had done long division homework problems from last night. When they go up to the board, I insist that they talk as they do the problem, telling everyone what they are doing.

[I'm going to change the names here so I don't get anyone in trouble.]

When I called one of my quieter girls, Amanda, up to the board, I told her that she needed to be "Loud Amanda, or L'Amanda." I then referenced the other kids that had already been up to the board, "L'Henry," "L'Wally," etc. Then I told Amanda that she needed to talk loudly enough for Ethan, sitting far from the board, to hear her. I said, "I'll call HIM Sl'Ethan, because he looks like he's about to fall asleep."

The kids all laughed at this and started adding a "L' " to the front of their names. Except for Allen, who announced loudly, "You can call me B'Allen, because I am boring!"

He obviously meant that he was bored, and his wrong choice of words completely cracked me up. That, coupled with the reaction to his announcement from the other kids. I think they too realized that he hadn't quite said what he had meant to say, and they looked at him like he had grasshopper legs growing out of his ears.

While "L'Amanda" worked her problem on the board, I just covered my face with the copy of the homework I was holding and tried to keep my laughter as silent as possible.

Gotta love laughable moments like that.

Call me Ishmael?

I've had an influx of new students over the past couple of weeks, but so far the best story to tell has to do with the one who showed up today.

Normally, when I post about kids here, I replace any and all names with the letter A. That just won't work for the purposes of this story, so I'll call this new boy Kevin. Kevin comes to us from a nearby school, and his arrival has been foretold for over a month. My partner, Miss Jenn Ed, had an ARD involving him last week, just so we could be prepared for his situation.

Several times, I've heard Kevin referred to as Kev by the teachers discussing him, so today, when I saw him in my line in the morning, I said, "Hi! You must be Kev!"

One of my other kids, A, immediately corrected me -- "Kevin!" So I asked the new kid, "What do you prefer to be called, Kevin or Kev?"

He mulled it over and told me, "Well, sometimes people call me Kevin, and some people call me Kev. But my real name is Bartholomew. My mom just likes how Kevin sounds."

Not once had I heard the name "Bartholomew" mentioned in any discussions about this kid, so I had my suspicions. I asked him, "What should I call you -- Kevin or Kev?"

He replied, "Bartholomew."

OK, we have a winner. For the next 10 minutes, I called him Bartholomew. "Bartholomew, do you have a pencil?" "Bartholomew, come and get a breakfast." "Did you do division at your old school, Bartholomew?"

At about quarter after eight, one of the special ed teachers dropped by to see how the new kid was doing. When I told her about the name change, her mouth dropped, and she took him out into the hallway to talk with him. A couple of minutes later, they came back into my classroom, and the little boy said to me with a sheepish grin, "You can call me Kev now."

Oooooookay...

If this happens again tomorrow, I might just make my own executive decision and start calling him the Hamburger.