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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It's all fun and games until somebody gets a toothpick stuck in their ass

Today's activity was creating 2-dimensional shapes using marshmallows and toothpicks. The marshmallows were the points and the toothpicks were the line segments.

Things were going swimmingly, we had covered angles, lines, rays, quadrilaterals, all sorts of shapes. We were nearing the end of the lesson, creating the final shape of the day, when disaster struck.

I had just asked the kids to make an 8-sided figure. Suddenly, this little boy was standing and howling. He was crying so hard the tears were shooting out of his eyes. My first thought was that he had EATEN one of the marshmallows and that it had still had a toothpick in it or something.

I asked him what was wrong, and as I scanned him up and down, I noticed a toothpick protruding from the side (towards the rear) of the boy's pants. It kind of looked like an Amazon native had shot a blow-dart at him.

I so badly wanted to ask how the toothpick had gotten there -- I mean, after all, they are flimsy little things. I would have thought the toothpick would break or lay flat even if sat upon -- kind of like a straw can't go through a tree unless driven by hurricane-force winds.

But more pressing was the fact that the toothpick was still stuck in his ass. Since he was making no move whatsoever to remove the problem himself, I pulled it out myself. I was amazed by how hard I had to pull to actually dislodge it.

This was the end of class so I never did find out exactly how the incident happened. I sent him to the bathroom to clean himself up and then it was about time to go. Maybe tomorrow when things have settled down and the wound has had a chance to heal, he might tell me.

I only hope it wasn't intentional...


Mrs. is my first name said...

I really like the toothpick idea, but really, how do you get a toothpick stuck in your ass? You'll have to update us if you figure it out!

Mrs. Bluebird said...

Dear God, I am laughing so hard I can hardly see the monitor to type!!! Good gracious!~

HappyChyck said...

Sheesh! That's one of those things I wouldn't even want to know about. But little know. They are the ones who sometimes just fall out of their desks. Sitting, then PLOP. Who can explain?

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter what you give them, someone will use something for some purpose you never intended.

Thanks for the laugh!

Mrs. Tolin said...

When I was in seventh grade (a long, long time ago) a similar incident happened. I don't remember the details, but a boy got a pencil stuck in his butt--through his blue jeans!!!

bun2bon said...

hm, would some students think it is STILL fun and games even though the toothpick is stuck in their ass? after all, if it was done on purpose, it would be a beavis and butthead type situation.

Or maybe punk'd, for the current mtv generation.

Mister Teacher said...

Well, I asked the boy the next day what exactly had happened, and he just said that he sat on it. Now this is not the kind of boy who would do something outrageous (ie, Jackass-esque) to draw attention to himself.

I was just reminded of the Seinfeld episode where Costanza's father accidentally got fucilli pasta stuck up you know where because he sat on a statue made of the stuff. "It was one in a million, Jerry!"

Angela Watson said...

That made me laugh out loud. Wow.

As far as him sitting on it, how could the toothpick have been positioned that way on the seat? It had to have been lying on it's side, not sticking straight up. Good grief.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he slid backwards onto it?

Anonymous said...

...make that "bass ackwards"!