Weed Whackers Anonymous

For the past couple of weeks, my lawn has looked like the background scenery in the movie Predator. Small animals were getting lost in the dense vegetation, and several of the weeds were taller than my third-grade students.

So on Saturday I was finally able to do something about it. I may not be able to convince some of my kids that subtracting makes your answer go down, but by golly, I proved that mowing will make weeds go down.

I set my lawnmower to the lowest possible setting and I scalped the crap out of that bad boy. I'd say the results speak for themselves.

Here is what my backyard looked like BEFORE Operation: Lawn Gnome...

If you look very closely at the following picture, you can actually see a troop of jungle-equipped Ewoks...

And now, the final results...

Tonight, I'll go out and fertilize it back to the Stone Age!