That word you keep using? I do not think it means what you think it means.

For some reason today, I got an urge to make a list of words that I have heard or overheard being misused or abused at my school over the years. Without any further ado, I present:

1) Assimilation -- We received a note today asking for a seating chart for next week's "TAKS Assimilation." Um, I think you mean SIMULATION. Someone texted me and asked if The Borg was going to be giving the test. I said I wanted my room monitor to be Locucious. We enjoyed a shared asthmatic geeky laugh.

2) Segue -- My old principal used to mispronounce this word on a near daily basis. It should be pronounced SEG-WAY, but she would always say SEG-YOO. In staff meetings, we loved to hear when it was time to segyoo into the next topic.

3) Halcyon -- Another Michael Scott mispronuncification by our old principal. She made reference to the school's "hally-con" days, when kids got to have recess, and teachers could make their own copies.

4) On -- This tiny preposition should NOT preface times and dates, yet it does. We had a meeting ON yesterday. We can wear jeans ON tomorrow. ON tonight, I will be going to bed early.

5) Flexible -- This word is not mispronounced, it's just mutilated, folded, and spindled. It's become a catch-all word for anything and everything that is asked of us. Please fill out this data-intensive form by 9am today -- and thank you for being flexible. Please come to this meeting during your planning period -- and thank you for being flexible. Please continue to teach in this gas-filled classroom -- and thank you for being flexible. I am often tempted to write a note that says, "I will be leaving at 2 today, so please find something for the kids to do while I'm gone -- and thank you for being flexible.

Anybody got anything to add?