B is for Bribery

Just under 2 weeks till TAKS. I wonder if it's too late to start the bribery.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been attempting bribery for months, but I wonder if it's too late to actually start promising to write blank checks to kids who otherwise seem to have no chance of passing. Kids that just MIGHT (on the very mightest edge of the might scale) pass if they took all 7 hours and perused carefully over every question, but who more probably will grab numbers out of word problems and do ungodly things with them. Kids who will say that 8/3 of the balloons are shaded. Kids who will choose "Not here" any and every time that option is presented.

2 more weeks. Are there enough Hot Cheetos in the world to bribe these kids?