At least I hope it is just the Monday blahs. I have felt really down today. Maybe it is partly because I am recovering from a cold. Maybe it is partly because I feel sore all over (either from volleyball or pulling weeds?). Maybe it is because I didn't sleep well last night.
But I think it is mostly due to the fact that I came into my classroom - after being absent on Friday - to find chairs in disarray, desks with papers falling out, a whole box of kleenex gone, a bottle of hand sanitizer broken and empty...
And then I have the kids that just beat me down this year. The kids who fail the tests, who don't do their homework, who don't pay attention, and who just don't care. I know that there are always kids who struggle, but I think part of my mini-depression is that we have spent a solid 2 weeks on subtraction and regrouping, and I had 6 kids who absolutely BOMBED the test. Despite the fact that I worked extensively with these kids in small groups, and they could do it when they were with me, they just didn't care enough to do it the right way on the test!
I feel like the average to high kids in my class are really getting gypped because I am always having to slow down to get one of these lower kids back on track, or just onto the track in the first place. Yet I am not quite at a point where I just want to leave these low kids to totally fall behind.
I'm just frustrated. Incredibly frustrated. And unlike previous years, I am having a lot of trouble finding the humor in daily activities with this group.
I also saw the future of some of my kids today after work. I stopped by Subway, and the guy making my sandwich made me think of how some of my kids are going to be in about 10 years. This guy didn't have a clue as to what he was doing. I had to point out that he hadn't put enough slices of turkey on the bread, and he seemed to be having trouble counting out the tomatoes. Thankfully, someone else was working the cash register.
Maybe Tuesday will be kinder and gentler...