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Saturday, July 01, 2017

The Girl with the Turkey Tattoo

Happy 4th of July weekend!  On this near-holiday day, I thought I'd share an excerpt from the upcoming Learn Me Goodest that deals with another holiday - Thanksgiving.
Enjoy!  And comment are always appreciated.


Speaking of word problems, a few days ago, I had the kids using their workbooks, and I saw this challenging question:
“A man and his 2 sons want to cross the river.  The man weighs 150 pounds and each of his sons weighs 75 pounds.  Their boat can hold no more than 150 pounds.  How can the man and both sons get to the other side of the river, using only the boat, without sinking it?”
I noticed most of my kids either skipped this question entirely or wrote something that merely proved they had not read the question.
“The 2 sons.”
“Long division.”
V, however, had given it some thought and written down a sensible answer. 
“The dad will have to lose weight.”
I can guarantee the dad is not going to lose any weight with Thanksgiving right around the corner. There will be much eating and drinking, and anybody who wants to cross a river in an inadequately prepared boat is on their own.
Going to classes over the summer allows us to get the whole week of Thanksgiving off, and I couldn't be happier. And apparently, I;m not alone in that joy.  I'm always amazed how even the kids who have trouble putting one and one together can tell you exactly how many days are left until Thanksgiving break. K has given me a countdown every morning since the beginning of November. Today he was practically bursting with excitement.
“What do you like so much about Thanksgiving break?” I asked him this morning. “Is it the turkey and dressing?”
“No, it's not having to go to SCHOOL!” he sighed dreamily.
I must have looked offended, because he quickly sobered up and added, “And it's the turkey, too.”
The other day, I made a holiday-inspired pun, and it was received with mixed reviews.  The kids had spent a couple of days completing a self-paced scavenger hunt of sorts around the room, and we were getting ready to switch back to homeroom.  I was standing near S and A’s table, and I asked them, “Was the scavenger hunt fun?”
S replied, “Yeah, but kind of stressing!”
I remarked, “Stressing?  Isn’t that a Thanksgiving meal?  Turkey and stressing?”
A, who is totally the most angsty 16-year-old in a 9-year-old’s body there ever was, rolled her eyes and muttered, “Why do you always have to say bad jokes?”
Hey, why does the sun rise in the east?  Why does a scorpion sting?  Why is the Statue of Liberty the mascot for all income tax return companies?  Why ask why?

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