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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Win some free business cards!

I received an email last week from a guy who works at, asking if I'd like to give away some free product. I figured, sure! Why not? Who doesn't love free product?

But then he pointed out that I would have to come up with some way to decide WHO to give the free product TO, and so I started thinking. And I came up with this -- a little contest where the top 3 winners will receive a totally free set of 500 business cards.

I used to think that since I didn't work in corporate any more, I didn't need business cards. But then I had some made up for my book, and I thought they were pretty nifty. So don't downplay the card. Even if you're between jobs, you could always have some printed to read, "YOUR NAME: MAJOR BADASS" if you so chose.

Anyway, on to the actual contest and, duh, winning!

We're going to have ourselves a little naming contest. I enjoy seeing names that are plays on words or parodies of celebrities. This is why so many of the sign-offs in Learn Me Good are like that.

A few that I used in my book:

Val Yumm
Gene Yuss
Darth Grader
Mike Rosoft
Sal Monilla
M. C. Hammurabi

In my Work in Progress, I'll be using these:

Willie Maykit
Ben Afflactose
Add 'em Ant

So here's how you can win those cards. Submit your funny names in the comment section of this post. In keeping with my total modesty, I shall henceforth refer to these funny names as LMG names.

I'm looking at a calendar now, and I am arbitrarily selecting May 7th as the end date for entries. So on or around May 7th, I will select the 5 or 6 LMG names that I think are the best, and I'll put them up for a vote from you, the readers. The top 3 vote getters will win the business cards. By the way, the cards are completely free, and UPS ground shipping will be paid for as well. As long as you live in Canada or the US. Sorry, rest of world.

I should also say that by submitting an LMG name on this site, you are relinquishing any rights to that name, and granting me full permission to actually use that name in my upcoming book without bugging for future royalties in perpetuity. Though if I do use the name, I will happily credit you in the intro, thus granting you future fame in perpetuity (at least with the handful of people that will read the book).

Let the names begin!


Summers School said...

Where should we send them?

Mister Teacher said...

Leave them here in the comments!!

Alan said...

If I wrote a Vampire themed book, it would be about a nurse that works in a hospital because it provides easy access to victims. Her name... "Nurse Feratu."

Michael said...

Gus T. Kidd. I've had a few of those.

@Alan - Dr. Acula paging Nurse Feratu.

Mister Teacher said...

Gus T. Kidd -- I LOVE it!!

Michael, where have I heard Dr. Acula before? It was somebody on TV's screenplay... Was it JD on Scrubs?

Amanda H. said...

How about:

Justin Tyme


Amanda Lynn

Unknown said...

I had an adult student who married into the last name of Hoar. Her first name was Gay. I couldn't believe she was using her husband's name even though the H is silent - who knows that the first day of class!!!

Loch R Uhm VanDill

Jason said...

Alright, let's see what I can crank out of the old noggin:

Kimmy Hannah

(this name would mean snotty nose in Japanese)

Unknown said...

I still haven't figured out to sign the previous name: Loch R Uhm VanDill with the name you know me by:

Reed N.D. Dark!!!

Here are the first quick ones.

Adee D Plus

Mohar Bidlee OhBees

HappyChyck said...

I haven't a ounce of wit left in me at this time of year, but thanks to everyone who gave me a giggles.

BTW, I started handing out business cards at open house nights, and all the other teachers thought I was being too fancy. Hehehe.

Mister Teacher said...

I love 'em! Keep 'em coming!

Julie Malewska/ said...

Olive Testin
Sil E. Savage
Stud E. Fortaks
Kimmie Stree
Waylon Tax
Principal Uvdathing

Sorry for all the TAKS testing references, but that's where our minds are now. :p

Mister Teacher said...

Julie, believe me, I understand! And I really like Stud E Fortaks! :)

Michael said...

Unknown said...

People I've met in class or the world outside: Des A. Pointing (not all I thought he would be), Mike Untrymann (a patriotic pal), Ben N. Thralled (was but now a bit jaded), E.Z. Mark (we took advantage of him), Marge Enall (not great but not bad), Sharon Bennefit (a real do-gooder), Erin Rea Cover (learned from her mistakes), John Dist (not his appearance, his attitude), Hiram N. Firam (my first boss).

Loved "Learn Me Good." Can the sequel be even funner?

Mister Teacher said...

Janet, now we're talking! Those are some great ones!

Oh, and of course I will TRY to make the sequel funnier! I am going for a Toy Story 2/Godfather 2/Superman 2 vibe, and not Speed 2/Mission Impossible 2/Leprechaun 2...

Unknown said...

If you want to appeal to kids (or the kid inside the adult) make it 'funner' cuz just about anyone can make it 'funnier.'

Before completing your sequel, may I humbly suggest you read my favorite sequel: THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF THE RETURN OF THE SON OF ZORRO RIDES AGAIN, PART SEVEN, FINAL CHAPTER, THE MOVIE.

Mister Teacher said...

"just about anyone can make it 'funnier.'"

Um, gee, Janet. . . I hope you didn't mean that as harshly as it came across! :)

Unknown said...

ABSOLUTELY NO HARSHNESS INTENDED. Just wanted to be sure you didn't think I thought "funner" was a real word. Your classroom humor is without equal, it rocks, you capture the special moments all teachers have but so few can verbalize. Keep up the great work!

Mister Teacher said...

Janet, it's ok, I was just giving you a hard time. :)

iamjusttiff said...

Losinmi Mind
Shelby Missed

Mister Teacher said...

Hey all,

The poll is open for voting!