Don't touch me!!!

I saw a story on CNN today about a school in Vienna, Virginia (not too far from Mister Teacher's birthplace) that has outlawed high-fives, among other things.

A rule against physical contact at Kilmer Middle School, about 10 miles west of Washington, is so strict that students can be sent to the principal's office for hugging, holding hands or even high-fiving.

Now if said hugging went on for 15 minutes and involved hands in suspicious areas, I could see the merits in this policy. And OK, so you don't want to promote sexual promiscuity amongst middle schoolers, thus the no handholding rules, but high-fiving??? Are you kidding me?

Next they'll be outlawing the whole "Gimme five -- On the side -- In the hole -- You're too slow!" Which quite frankly is a rite of passage to the American schoolchild.

Reasons for this school policy are sketchy at best:

At a school of 1,100 students that was meant to accommodate 850, school officials think touching can turn into a big deal. They've seen pokes lead to fights, gang signs in the form of handshakes and girls who are uncomfortable being hugged but embarrassed to say anything.

What, they've never seen gang signs in the form of physical gestures? Stare downs? Verbal comments??? Will students be required to be rolled in wearing straitjackets and Terminator-esque sunglasses??

Hey "school officials" (if that IS your real name), how about suspending kids who fight, who give noticeable and recognizable gang sign handshakes, and who go around lecherously hugging all the girls, ala Georgie Peorgie!

In other words, don't ban all physical contact -- just ban the improper physical contact! That way people won't be accusing you of being knee-jerks!