There was an editorial in The Dallas Morning News last week titled “Men in the Classroom.” Despite the way it sounds, this was NOT just some poorly imagined sequel to Men in Black, or a spin-off from rock super sensation Men without Hats.
The editorial cites the National Education Association as saying that the prototypical male in the public school classroom has become “a dwindling breed,” and that in some schools, “all the male teachers on staff could car pool in a Corvette.”
First of all, when I hear the phrase “dwindling breed,” I think of screech owls or sea manatees, NOT the hairier side of homo erectus. And at MY school, there are quite a few male teachers, so we cannot in fact all pile into a Corvette – trust me, we’ve tried. We decided we would need to car pool in a stretch Hummer, and even then, we would need to be accompanied by some clown music to really feel the moment.
Some nitwit wrote a letter to the editor a few days ago on the subject, where he suggested that a whole generation of men entered the teaching profession almost 40 years ago in order to escape the US military draft. He stated that this group is now reaching retirement age, and THAT is why there are so few men in the classroom. He even went so far as to say that the US should reinstitute a draft, and THAT would drive men back into teaching.
Did I call this guy a nitwit? I was being far too generous. I try to keep this blog family-friendly, so I won’t write any other names for him here, but here’s a hint. It rhymes with plum-guts.
Yeah, that’s certainly the reason that I personally became a teacher. To avoid being drafted into the military. Actually, I did it to avoid being drafted into the local Applebee’s dish-washing staff. THAT was a close call!!
In closing, I am going to post a couple of groan-inspiring wordplay one-liners that I received from my sister-in-law today.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.