THIS is easy??

Yesterday, I began to teach the kids how to do a 2-digit by 2-digit multiplication problem. I began by writing 43X32 on the board and asking the kids to just try to answer it.
The ONE kid who got it right and knew how to do this kind of problem already was the girl who didn't know how old she was, who told me that 5 + 3 was "so very hard," and who often forgets things over a long weekend.
Go figure.

A little experiment

When kids come running down the hall and I shout, "STOP RUNNING!" it has just about zero effect on them. So I'm thinking about seeing how they react to something totally random, like, "NO SMOKING!!" or, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!"
The sheer confusion alone should stop them in their tracks.

Non Sequitors

My day was pretty lively today.  Here were a few bullet points... 

I have a set of liquid measurement containers that fit into one another much like Russian nesting dolls. Today, as I was pulling them out one at a time, much to the amazement of my kids, I kept hearing one of them say, "You gotta be kidding me."
Cracked me up!!

This was how my statement was intended to go: "When we get back from specials, I'm going to introduce you to Gallon Man."
Instead, I got as far as, "I'm going to introduce you to..." when I was interrupted by a boy saying, "Mr. Snowflakes!"

I had a sub for the last hour of class today. I asked her to have the kids take a big piece of paper, create their own word problem, solve it, and illustrate it. I even drew an example of what it would look like.
Just got back to my classroom, and I have 10 products that all have exactly the same word problem--my example problem.  Aaarrrgghh! 

Doesn't take much to impress...

Really don't think I can do this one justice in print, but here goes...
At recess, my kids swarmed around me to ask about the baby. Our schedule was mixed up because of ITBS in the lower grades, so some of the kids hadn't seen me yet.
Someone asked what the baby's name was, and I answered, "Andrew Warren Pearson."
My little muppet excitedly shouted, "Oooh, PEARSON!"

Yes, we opted to go with the non-traditional practice of giving our baby OUR last name...

Go the F$@K to sleep

After a couple of nights with hardly any sleep due to a baby who screams and cries all the time (except when he's feeding, when he falls asleep), I have a greater understanding of why a parent might name their kid that name pronounced "Sha-theed" (spelled like you-know-what).

Stop! Baby-Time!

My son was born today! And I feel like Mustafa looking upon Simba (but without all the hyenas).

My only disappointment today was that I didn't actually get to use the Baby-Time drill with my kids. But my next door neighbor teacher said that she would do it for me. She told me that she went out into the hall this morning and told the kids, "Boys and girls, Mister Teacher won't be here this morning. Can anybody guess why!"
She said that they all smiled and said, "Baby Time!" and cheered.
These will be good kids to loop up with next year.

One... Giant... Leap Forward

So it sounds like I will be moved to 4th grade next year. Not entirely sure how I feel about that yet. I did share the news with a small handful of kids as we were walking out to buses, and they were excited at the prospect of having me as their teacher again.

Guest teacher, Jacques Cousteau

The much anticipated Field Trip was today!  HOORAY!!

There was a teensy tiny problem at the beginning of our trip.  We were outside waiting for the buses at 8:30, when another teacher came out and told us that we had actually planned the trip for 11-2 and that the buses would not be arriving until 10:30.  Wondering who the shmuck was who got the timing wrong?  Yeah, let's just say the name rhymes with Sister Reacher.

The teachers conferred, and with a 4-3 vote, we decided NOT to have the kids just sit where they were for 2 hours.  Instead, we went back inside and worked on the science projects a bit.

We had planned on being back at school in time for our lunch, but with our new time frame, we were in a bit of a quandry as to when we would get to eat lunch.  Miraculously, even though I had never asked for portable lunches, somehow the cafeteria ladies had prepared sack lunches anyway, and that was a saving grace.  We ate outside at 10, then headed off to meet the buses again.

Once we were there, it was a blast.  Another teacher did not have quite the same fun experience as me, saying her kids would not behave and gave our school a really bad name.  But the kids that were in my group were, for the most part, pretty well behaved, especially after my colleague and I came down on them hard at the beginning for running and screaming.  They did well to walk and talk with inside voices after that.

We saw turtles.  We saw Angel Fish.  We saw an albino crocodile.  We saw sharks sitting at the bottom of the tank.  This was odd, because I thought sharks HAD to keep moving, or they would die.  One of the other teachers suggested that there was a current at the bottom of the tank, and that satisfied the sharks' oxygen intake.

The neatest part, though, was the stingray tank.  All of the kids, and teachers of course, got to dip their hands into the tank and actually "pet" the sting rays.  If you've never touched a sting ray (or manta, they're similar), it's a very interesting feel.  Their backs are kind of oily and slimy, and it was like touching one of my student's gelled up hair.

It was a lot of fun watching the kids yelp with fear-tinged excitement when they first touched the rays, and then became used to it and started petting them in earnest.  A few of the rays even swam right up against the glass and came considerably out of the water!

I get to take a field trip by myself tomorrow, as I've been summoned downtown for jury duty.  I don't think I'll have to serve, as I loudly advocate tarring and feathering for even the slightest crime.  Jaywalking, not using blinkers when changing lanes, littering.

Justice will be served!

Baby, Baby, Baby, OH!

During tutoring today, several of the boys told me that they were writers. Good for them! When I asked what they wrote about, it seems that most of the stories involve Justin Beiber being pushed off mountains, out of airplanes, and off tall buildings.
Good for them, indeed!