You have made a difference

Got an email the other day from Brian Asselin, who pointed me at the Youtube video for his teacher-friendly song. I took a lesson and am happy to pass this on.

If teachers were like... soap stars

Earlier this week, I read a blurb in the paper about a local teacher who won a contest to trade places for a day with Jason Thompson of General Hospital. So that inspired me to formulate a new entry in the "If teachers were like..." pantheon. My first thought was that a teacher would feel more at home on the set of All My Children or The Young and the Restless. But here are some other things that I believe would be true if teachers were like... soap stars:

1) Every time we told a child, "If you don't study, you will fail," there would be a sudden crescendo of dramatic music, accompanied by a close-up of the facial expression termed by Joey from Friends as "smelling the fart."

2) We would never get any teaching done because we'd be too worried about aliens abducting our illegal immigrant lovers, who may or may not have set fire to their illegitimate half-siblings in order to inherit all of the family's money.

3) We'd talk less about commas, and more about comas.

4) One of our colleagues could disappear for months, only to be replaced by someone 7 inches shorter, 20 pounds heavier, with different colored eyes and a mustache. Yet everyone would accept that this brand-new person was really our old colleague, and nothing would ever be said about it.

Any other ideas?

Slice me off a piece of that Carnival

The 102nd Carnival of Education is up and running, courtesy of Dr. Homeslice. Sidle on over, and give him a great big "WHASSSSSUP?"

If teachers were like... NBA stars

And now for something completely different…

Today, I thought I’d take a look at another profession and compare it to the one that I'm in currently. So many occupations out there to choose from, but I figured I'd start with something really glamorous, like a professional basketball player. So, in no particular order, here are a few observations of what I believe life would be like if teachers were treated like NBA stars.

1) Lets start with the obvious, the one difference so huge, everyone would automatically start there -- if teachers were like NBA stars, we would get to wear shorts and tank tops on the job all the time!!

2) If teaching was like playing in the NBA, then I could hurt my hand on the very first day of school, stay at home injured for the rest of the school year, and still collect my entire yearly salary.

3) If we ever tried to place our hands around our principal's neck and choke him or her, then we would most likely be traded to another school with a higher salary, and the principal would be fired. (The Latrell Spreewell Corollary)

4) If we slipped and fell down on the job, someone would immediately rush out to wipe up our sweat, instead of just pointing and laughing.

5) Just like with the basketball equipment controversy (leather vs. synthetic), we would be subject to random and seemingly whimsical changes to equipment and materials from year to year, and these changes would be made and approved by our supervisors, with absolutely no consultation for our own opinions. Wait, that pretty much already happens with teachers.


Feel free to add your own!