Shut yo' mouth!

This week's Learn Me Good comic strip is reminiscent of something that I actually heard in class this year.

Face palm, times ten

Today I was working with one of my students who acts a lot dumber than I really think he is.  We were going over the concept of addition with regrouping.  He had drawn a picture which showed 7 ones and 6 ones being added in the ones column.  He had moved all 13 ones down to the ones' answer spot.

I told him that there were too many ones to go there and that we needed to regroup.  So I asked him how many ones we needed to put together to make a ten.

His reply:  Five?

I said, "Think about the name of the place value.  It's the TENS place.  How many ones do we need to make a TEN?"

With more certainty this time, he answered, "Three."

I finally went and grabbed the base-ten blocks, which we had worked extensively with yesterday, to show him that three ones actually did not make a TEN.

But... That's really good!!

Last week, progress reports went out, and shortly thereafter, I got a note from a parent.  To sum up, it said that the mother was "very concerned" with her daughter's low grade in math. It went on to ask if there was anything she could do to bring that grade up from a 91 to at least a 95.

I conferenced with the girl today and told her, "91 is REALLY good!"

Personal Financial Literacy

Someone pointed out to me that there was a brand new set of learning standards on the Texas Education Agency website, so I took a look. In addition to being MUCH more specific, and as one teacher put it -- "high schoolish" -- there is THIS

section at the end:

Personal financial literacy. The student applies mathematical process standards to manage one's financial resources effectively for lifetime financial security. The student is expected to:

(A) distinguish between fixed and variable expenses;

(B) calculate profit in a given situation;

(C) compare the advantages and disadvantages of various savings options;

(D) describe how to allocate a weekly allowance among spending; saving, including for college; and sharing; and

(E) describe the basic purpose of financial institutions, including keeping money safe, borrowing money, and lending.


I can't WAIT to teach THESE concepts!

Weekend progress

The good news is that I Coulda Caught That Pass is sitting at #1 on the Kindle ebook nonfiction sports football (American) list. WOOHOO!!
 

The not so great news is that it hasn't cracked the top 1,000 overall free book list.
 

I blame Oprah.

Football Freebie!

My new book -- I Coulda Caught That Pass! (a true story about fake football) -- is FREE today and tomorrow on the Kindle!

Please grab a copy and pass the news on to your friends!

http://www.amazon.com/Coulda-Caught-story-football-ebook/dp/B00993KPL8

Updates

Several posts of note today:

Conversation during science time:
Me: Thomas Edison invented the first machine that could show movies.
Student: DVD?!?
 Uh, no...


There's nothing like a Code Brown in the hallway as I'm enjoying my lunch of leftover chili...  Yummy!

There are several new mounds of surface material (straw, or bark, or whatever) on our playground. Yesterday, one of my girls asked, "Why are they putting that stuff on there if we don't even get to use it this year?"
Good question!!! Enjoy, neighborhood kids and wandering vagrants!!!

I think the oddball lady who lives across the street from the school is going to have to be a character in the next book. This afternoon at dismissal, she was peeking through her window with a camera!!
No idea what for, but I posed and mugged for the camera for a while...   

Parent note

The Learn Me Good comic strip has gone bi-weekly! Here it is!

I Coulda Caught That Pass!

It's almost here!  The final touches have been put on my fantasy football book, just in time for the NFL season to begin.  My book is called I Coulda Caught That Pass!  (a true story about fake football), and as soon as I get my proof copy and am sure the cover looks as good in print as it does on the computer screen, I will make it available world-wide!

I do realize that not everyone is into fantasy football, or even real football.  So this book will not be for everybody.  But hey, other than the dictionary, what book really IS?  However, I hope it will appeal to lovers of sports AND humor as they mix well together.

Here's the cover and the blurb!  Look for it to be released soon!

There is something to be said about fantasy football.  That something is that it is not for everybody.  Those who love it, love it.  Those who hate it, hate it.  Those who don’t care are called spouses.

The name alone conjures up a hybrid image of ESPN and late night Cinemax.  But no, this fantasy is not of the erotic type.  It is fantasy in the sense that it is the only way most of us would ever be even remotely involved in professional athletics.

The first recorded season of fantasy football occurred in 1976, when a young man named…

OK, you know what?  I have no earthly idea when fantasy football officially started, and I really have no inclination to look it up.  That’s not what this book is about.  You aren’t going to find the history of the game here.  You won’t find advice for how to start your own league or tips for drafting a dynasty.  You definitely will not find any ways to sharpen your managerial skills.  In fact, there’s a good chance you won’t find any skill at all in this book.

Instead, what you will find is an inside look at one fantasy football league.  A fly-on-the-wall perspective of ten scrappy managers/everyday Joes – more obsessive than some, less obsessive than most.  A touching story of one triumphant champion and nine complete losers.

Prepare to step into history.

And by “history,” I mean “completely unspectacular events that have happened in the recent past.”

Need a Kleenex?

I'm a little late posting this week's Learn Me Good comic strip to the blog.  For you guys who were anxiously anticipating it, I apologize to both of you...

Suck it up, or quit!

After seeing some of the responses from non-teachers on my recent DMN blog post -- where the overriding argument seems to be that if you don't like something, your two options are 1) suck it up and shut up or 2) QUIT -- I got an idea for a new post.

Today is the last day before classes start, so I've made a list of complaints that I've had or may have this year.  You may have had these same complaints at one time, or you may feel like making them this year, but know this.  According to some people, you teachers knew what you were getting yourselves into when you joined the profession, so there's no reason to complain about anything, you just need to do whatever is asked of you, and you always have the option of quitting at year's end.

1)  The A/C in my classroom doesn't seem to be working, and/or it's working TOO well.  --
We haven't been able to control the thermostats in our classrooms for about 6 years now, so we never really know what the climate is going to be like when we enter.  Some days it's an arctic chill, some days it's mild, and some days it's like being on the surface of the sun.  But there's no use complaining, right?  I knew full well when I entered my teaching certification courses that my body would need to naturally and spontaneously adapt on a daily basis to changing temperatures and humidity levels!

2)  I don't have updated technology in my classroom. --
That's ok, kids have been learning with chalk and the backs of shovels since before Abraham Lincoln's day!  If it was good enough for Honest Abe, it's good enough for me!  I'm sure there's some corporate worker out there who is still dealing with primitive resources in his job, so his case should be applied to all teachers who are teaching updated curricula with outdated tools!

3)  Some parents won't return my calls or come to discuss their child --
There always seems to be a few folks who think that what happens at school should stay at school, and they don't want to be "bothered" by hearing about what their kid is doing, good OR bad.  But I am clearly a fool for forgetting that I went to college to learn how to work with KIDS!  Not ADULTS!!  Why on earth would I think I had the right to talk to adults as a teacher??  If I want to work with adults, I most definitely should quit and get a different job.

4)  There is a "No recess" policy in action at my school --
It sure would be nice if the kids had ten minutes or so to blow off steam and run to their hearts' content.  But I should have realized going in to my job choice that "recess" is one of those abstract, unquantifiable things that was bound to go the way of the dodo, along with "homework," "respect," and "consequences."

5)   I need to see the doctor, but in order to do so, I have to either find someone who will see me after 5:00 or take an entire day off for the appointment. --
As my friends have said countless times, teachers are EXPECTED to contract every sickness and disease known to man, plus a few others -- EACH YEAR!  They are fond of telling me that I also am expected to fight through the pain, the snot, the oozing, and the fever. Doctors, Schmoctors!

I'm sure there are plenty of others, but I for one will be trying my darndest to remember NOT to complain about anything this year.  I'll just put my head down, break my back, and do every little, ridiculous, unnecessary thing that is asked of me.  You betcha.

Showing your school colors

Saw this story on Yahoo yesterday, about a grade school kid in Oklahoma who was disciplined for the shirt he wore to school and ordered to turn it inside out for the rest of the day.  From the headline, my immediate thought was that it was merch from Hooters, or a bloody Insane Clown Posse world tour t-shirt, or even something that implied profanity, like a Battlestar Galactica shirt that said, "Frak that!"

Nope, the kid was wearing a University of Michigan shirt.

Now, I'm no fan of Mich, especially with the bad blood between Duke and the "Fab Five," of whose legacy Jalen Rose seems SO very desperate to hang on to.  (By the way, screw "Fierce Five" -- The American girls who brought home gold this year in the Olympics are the Fab Five who actually WON something!)

However this does seem a bit extreme.  Apparently, the rules of the school and maybe even the district are that only attire from Oklahoma-based schools can be worn?  What a crock!

Big Head??

Here's this week's Learn Me Good comic strip, based on a true event that happened last year.  I was NOT expecting her to say that!

An extra 45 minutes

I wrote a post over the weekend, and I was going to post it here, but instead I asked the editor of the education blog at the Dallas Morning News if she would be interested in running it on the DMN website.  She agreed to run it, and it is posted today here:

My buddy warned me to be aware that the "haters" would surface, and of course they have.  I don't understand why some people seem to take it upon themselves to consistently make the argument that teachers have no right to complain about anything whatsoever, just because they get summers off from working with kids.

Teachers are the worst students?

This week's Learn Me Good comic strip is here!

We've always heard that teachers make the worst students.  Oh well...

Back to school

Today is the first day I've set foot in my school since June 1st.  It wasn't the first day back with the kids -- that doesn't come til the 27th.  But I knew that the school would be open today, coupled with the fact that I will be in a new room this year, and I knew I couldn't put off the procrastination any more.

So I got quite the workout today.  I didn't get to actually work IN my room at all.  Well, I did take the time to sharpen a bunch of pencils in preparation for the first week, but I didn't get to arrange desks, put up bulletin boards, decorate my door, post inspirational hanging-kitten-meets-Yoda posters...

Instead, I spent the entire day moving things from one room to another.

The room that I am moving into still had most of the belongings and materials of the person who occupied the room last year.  This is not a slight against her, because, after all, all of MY stuff was still in my old room as well.  But it is what it is, and it needed to be moved before I could start moving my stuff in.  So I spent a good portion of the morning moving her stuff 2 doors down to her new room.

Yes, you read that right.  She's still teaching 4th grade, and she was moved TWO. DOORS. DOWN. 
Redonkulous.

She had about 10 large plastic portable shelf units that had a lot of guided reading books on them.  Those are what REALLY gave me a workout, especially my back and quads, and I was sweating like a pig as I finished moving the last one.  That's just about the time that the head custodian came upstairs and asked why I had moved those shelves into the new room.  When I told him, he informed me that those shelves did NOT belong to the other teacher; they were supposed to go out in the hallway, and the custodians had just moved them into my new room while the cleaned and waxed the floors.  They just hadn't moved them back into the hallway.

That would have been nice to know in advance.  (and I may possibly have negated that new wax/clean job through my moving efforts)

Once I got all of her stuff out of my new room, it was time to start moving things from my old room (downstairs) to my new room (upstairs).  Instead of carrying one or two boxes by hand and going up and down the stairs about 200 times, I borrowed one of the school hand carts.  This made it MUCH easier to load up a bunch of stuff and reduced the number of trips I had to take.

It also showed me exactly how poorly thought out the hand cart/elevator relationship had been.  See, the handcart is about 5 feet long, and the elevator is about 4 feet deep.  It's about 8 feet wide, so it fits inside, but actually getting it inside and free of the door was a feat in itself every single time.  I had to push it in at an angle, squeeze into the elevator, reach down and pull the front wheel sideways then push the back end the other way... And if I ever took longer than 30 seconds, the elevator helpfully screeched at me.

Once I had all of my stuff up in the new room, it occurred to me that A) I was leaving all of my 3rd grade math materials downstairs and B) the former occupant of my new room was not a math teacher.  I needed 4th grade math materials from a 3rd source!  I was able to find textbooks in the upstairs classroom of the former 4th grade math teacher, but no other materials at all. Apparently, they were all moved (by her or by the custodians, I have no idea) down to her new 5th grade classroom.

UGH.

So there is still some moving to be done before I can even start to prepare my room for the kids.  Good thing we don't start til the 27th!

Why are you the teacher?

This week's Learn Me Good comic strip is inspired by something that really happened this year.  One of my little girls wasn't quite satisfied with my lack of knowledge on this particular subject.

Get to know the Lowell Milken Center

THE LOWELL MILKEN CENTER

I wanted to share with you a great little video about an organization making a big difference in the lives of teachers and students all over the county. The Lowell Milken Center, named and founded by education philanthropist Lowell Milken in 2007,  is a Kansas-based organization that uses project-based learning to uncover "unsung heroes who changed the world."

Check it out!

LETS YOOZ REESUN

Do we look like brothers?

Here is this week's Learn Me Good comic strip.  Had a few technical difficulties, and several people on FB said that they were having trouble reading the words.  So I changed the font, and hopefully it's much easier to read now.

I appreciate feedback!

As for the strip itself, has this ever happened to you?   It's one thing for a kid to think that someone who looks a little bit like me might be my brother, but someone who looks NOTHING like me -- and also teachers at the school?!?!?

I work with a few ladies who told me that some of their kids used to think that two of them were sisters, while the third was their grandmother.  And none of these ladies look old in the least!!

Every year!!

Anybody else faced with this same dilemma?

Sorry, kid...

Here is this week's Learn Me Good comic strip!

We are all superheroes at school. We just can't wear capes or masks...


If you would like to purchase a mug, mouse pad, t-shirt, etc with this week's comics strip, please go to Mister Teacher's store!

Class pets

Here is today's fill in the blank...

If I had a class pet, it would be a __________.

This is crazy

Had fun with this over the weekend:

It's a Trap!

For the Star Wars/Geometry fans out there...

Outside the classroom

Here is the second comic strip in the Learn Me Good series.

I'm always amazed at how excited kids get when they see you outside of the school environment.  I once had a kid practically scream at me, "I SAW YOU AT TACO BELL!"  while several other kids whispered, "Really??  You really saw him?"

Learn Me Good goes comical

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages -- it gives me great pleasure to present to you the inaugural Learn Me Good comic strip!!

For a while now, I have thought it would be neat to present some LMG anecdotes in 3-panel style, as I've always been a huge fan of Calvin and Hobbes, Pearls Before Swine, Dilbert, and the like.  The only thing is, I can't draw to save my life.

But over the 4th of July holiday, I was talking with my brother about a collaboration, and he agreed to try his hand out at the visuals, if I would provide the story ideas.  My brother inherited ALL of the artistic talent in the family, whereas I can barely draw a circle.

So here is the finished product!

We hope to have a new one each Wednesday, so I hope you enjoy it and come back for more!

Join "The List!"

After last week's experiment with Entertainment Weekly (which, yeah, didn't go so well), it really moved me just how many people are willing to say nice things about Learn Me Good and to put in a good word or send an email to help the cause.  So I'm putting together a list of people I can count on for support in a moment's notice, and a group that I can email with one click of the button.

This will not be a list that I send cutsie pictures of horses playing volleyball or jokes about hairless Wookiees.  I will send emails only when there is a cause and I need help or I want definite input.

So if you'd like to join the Learn Me Good email list (and please, by all means, let me know if you have a better name for it), shoot me an email -- learnmegood2 AT yahoo DOT com   (don't forget the 2!)

And please pass on the word if you know anyone else who would like to be on the list!

The Great Learn Me Caper

As many of you know, I had a "brilliant" idea last week, and I enlisted the help of as many friends and fans as were willing to help me implement it.

I am a longtime reader and lover of Entertainment Weekly the magazine, and I've always thought it would be wonderful exposure to have Learn Me Good featured in the Books section of that magazine. I am also well aware that the writers of EW are highly unlikely to suddenly pluck a relatively unheard of novel out of the blue to feature in their pages.

So I hatched a scheme.

First, I sent this email to two of the book editors at EW:
**********
Hello, Ms. X and Mr Y,

I know that you typically review and promote books that are published by the "Big 6," but I have also seen a few non-traditional and independent authors working their way into the pages of EW recently. With the rise of e-books especially, readers are showing a willingness to give a chance to more writers than just those named King, Patterson, or Meyers. It's often a lot harder for those writers to get noticed, though.

I am one of those writers, and I'm also a teacher who is on summer vacation, so I have a little free time on my hands. As such, I thought I'd introduce you to my first novel, Learn Me Good.

I've asked a few friends and fans to write to you about Learn Me Good as well.

Learn Me Good is the story of Jack Woodson, a thermal design engineer who was laid off from his job.

Switching careers to be a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.

Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit.

"Jack Woodson (Duke Egr, class of '95) is currently living and working in Dallas, TX. He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers."

"I teach, therefore I am... poor."

Learn Me Good was self-published in paperback in 2006 and has since sold almost 1,500 copies. In 2009, it was published as an e-book for the Amazon Kindle, and it has since sold over 17,000 copies. It has received 185 reviews on Amazon.com, and 126 of those are 5-star reviews.

I would really love to have you check out Learn Me Good (and/or the sequel, Learn Me Gooder) and see if it might be worthy of mention or review in the pages of Entertainment Weekly. I would be more than happy to send you an electronic copy and/or a paperback copy upon request.

Thank you for your time,

John Pearson
***********

Perhaps if that had been the entirety of my plan, the editors would have taken notice and contacted me for an interview. I say perhaps in the sense that it is not an absolute impossibility. In the words of Mr. Spock, though, it seems highly illogical that I would have gotten that outcome from my email alone.

So I asked people to send in their own testimonials to the good folks at EW.

This was the "call to arms" email that I sent out to my willing volunteers (edited to remove email addresses):
************
Thank you again for helping me with this attempt to get noticed by Entertainment Weekly. Here's what I'd like you to do. This Tuesday, July 3, at around noon, I am going to send an email to the 2 reviewers at EW. I will mention in the email that I've asked a few friends and fans of Learn Me Good to email them as well. Please send your email a little AFTER noon CST (if it's later in the day, it's certainly not going to hurt anything).

Please make the subject line: "Learn Me Good by John Pearson"

I've included sort of a "boiler plate" message below the line of stars. Please feel free to cut and paste that into your email. But what will really add impact would be if you would personalize your email by adding a sentence or two (or more, if you are so inclined) including your own thoughts and opinions of the book (and even Learn Me Gooder if you want).

And then keep your fingers crossed that they get in touch with me in a positive light! :)

One more time, thank you so much for your support and help in this endeavor.

John

*************************************************************************************************
I teach, therefore I am... poor.

Learn Me Good is the story of Jack Woodson, a thermal design engineer who was laid off from his job. Switching careers to be a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.

Learn Me Good is a hilarious first-person account, inspired by real life experiences. Through a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his buddy who still works at Heat Pumps Unlimited, Jack chronicles a year-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack writes each email with a dash of sarcasm and plenty of irreverent wit.

Since its original publication, Learn Me Good has sold almost 1,500 paperback copies and over 17,000 e-copies. It has received 184 reviews on Amazon.com, and 125 of those are 5-star reviews. These are amazing statistics for a self-published novel with no major backing!

Please look into featuring Learn Me Good and/or its sequel, Learn Me Gooder, in the pages of Entertainment Weekly.
**************

So that was the setup for my experiment. It may seem amateurish to some, but hey, I AM an amateur!

I knew there was a chance that this might be seen as a major annoyance, but I also figured that seeing a lot of individual and differing words of praise would make the EW folks think, "Wow, people really like this book! Maybe we should take a look!"

And now for the results (at least the immediate results):

There were great results and really bad results.

First, the great results. At least, what I consider great results. There was a tremendous outpouring of support and willingness to help from people who have read Learn Me Good. Over 100 people responded to my original request, and around 40 of those emailed me Tuesday to let me know that they had sent EW an email. Many of those 40 actually included their EW email, and I was truly touched and amazed by the words of kindness, praise, and admiration.

It truly made me feel incredible as an author.

As for the bad news? Yeah, one of the EW editors REALLY did not take things well.

She never actually wrote back to ME, but several people forwarded me the note she had written back to them:
********
Please tell your friend Mr. Pearson that getting 5000 emails like this—filling up my inbox—ensures I will NEVER cover this book.
********

Ouch. On the bright side-- 5,000 emails received! HOLY CRAP, that's incredible!!!

On the down side, I'm quite sure she was exaggerating. By a factor of 100.

Also on the downside, plan go backfire. Big time.

Honestly, I never intended this to be an exercise in spamming the good folks at EW. It wasn't just me, sending the same email over and over and over again. It was a whole lot of different people saying different things about the same book.

Nevertheless, it was obviously taken as spam.

After I began writing this post, I received an email from the other EW editor (who coincidentally happens to be a fellow Duke alumnus). It was quite a bit kinder and gentler:
*********
Hi John, It's awesome that your books have so many admirers! But any way you can call them off? We're getting too many e-mails.
**********

I obliged, sending an email to all the people who I had not heard from. I also sent an apologetic email to the two EW editors, trying to explain that my intent was not spamariffic.

And thus endeth the (failed) EW experiment of '12.

Next week, Rolling Stone? Anyone? Anyone?

Just kidding!

9 months???

I've been wanting to make one of these snarky pictures for a while, and so I finally did!

Carnival of Education

It's time once again for the Carnival of Education, put together with love and care (and intense heat) by Carol of Bellringers!

Help a teacha out?

Hey all,
I am planning a promotional event (stunt) for Learn Me Good in a few weeks, and I really need your help.  This would not require more than a few minutes of your time and a few kind words about Learn Me Good.

If you would be willing to help (and I'm in your debt if you do), please send me an email (learnmegood2@yahoo.com) and say, "I'm in," or "I'll help," or, "I'd love to have your quintuplets." 

I'll send out further details through email later.

Thank you in advance!

Missing the point...

Did you ever find yourself telling the kids, " Please throw your trash IN the trash can, not NEAR the trash can."

SCIENCE!!

I got an email the other day asking me to become an affiliate for this new science program for elementary school kids. I took a look, and it looks pretty good! I think it's definitely something that parents of grade schoolers would be interested in, especially those with kids who have truly scientific and curious minds.

Check it out and see what you think.
Click Here!



“The Amazing Science Discovery Series”
– How Science Should Be Taught To Our Kids

Science is one of those subjects that have so much potential to captivate our imagination. It’s sad that a lot of people think of Science as a difficult subject. It’s especially disheartening to see kids giving up on it as they mature.
Science is a subject that comes naturally to kids. Who knows of a child who isn’t fascinated by dinosaurs or space travel? Questions such as “Why do rainbows appear in the sky?” or “How do airplanes fly?” are just some of the science-related wonders that kids ask about.
As parents, we exert a lot of influence over our children’s preferences. That’s why as early as possible, getting children involved and interested in science can make a big difference in how they perform in school and their overall confidence in their ability to learn and apply scientific concepts. You shouldn’t wait till your child shows poor grades in school. By then, it could be too late. The earlier you can plant the seeds of love for science, the more vibrantly it will flourish.
If you are a parent who would like to help your children discover how fascinating the world of science is, check out the book “The Amazing Science Discovery Series”. This series is composed of 5 eBooks and deals with the Science subjects that are the standard fare for children in the first to fifth grade levels.
The great thing about this book is the easy language it uses to discuss the various concepts that children will be learning in school. It also goes into anecdotes and interesting historical stories about how scientists were able to establish the concepts in the first place. I love these stories because they really allow kids to see Science and scientific discovery as something that they, too, are capable of. The eBooks also go on to give easy and simple experiments and projects that you can do together, at home, to interact further with the concepts that are being discussed.
It’s a treasure for any family to have, and a must-read for every parent who would like to raise kids who enjoy science and are confident in their abilities to excel in this subject. It’s never too late to start, and there’s no such thing as too much encouragement when it comes to science. Our kids need all the help they can get.
If you want to learn more about it, you can do so by visiting the series’ website here:
http://www.amazingsciencediscovery.com

Finish my line!

Now that the big Summer Comedy Event is up and running, it's my turn to take it for a spin!

Finish the line I've provided with something funny, witty, provocative, or bat-s crazy. Do it the best, and you could win a copy of one of my books!

This contest runs from today through this Friday so you have plenty of time to get those creative juices flowing.

If you have a Twitter account, please post your line with the hash tags #finishtheline and #humorcontest.

If you don't have a Twitter account, post your line here on the blog as a comment OR on the learnmegood Facebook page.

10 great lessons

Earlier this week, Joel of So You Want to Teach? put up a post titled "10 Things I have Learned in 10 Years."

This is definitely worth a read! While there are certainly other truths to teaching, Joel's 10 are right up there in terms of importance.  Even if we don't ALWAYS love EVERY student (per rule #1)...

Summer Comedy Event!

Happy summer, everyone!!! Maybe it's just me, but this was an incredibly long and difficult school year, and I am exceptionally happy to be done with it and on to a bit of a break!

Or at least as much of a break as one can have with a less-than-a-month old son in the house. :)

So I've been collaborating recently with some other humor writers, and we've come up with a plan to hold an ongoing humor contest over the course of the summer.

Here's how it will work. One of us will post the beginning of a line on Twitter, maybe something along the lines of "I hate it when my pet lizard..." and you take a shot at finishing the line.

The entry judged to be the best by that week's author will win a copy of that author's book!

Each contest will run from Monday through Friday, with judging happening over the weekend. The majority of the contest will take place on Twitter and Facebook, and ideally, you will be exposed to some great new writers!

The first contest will begin this Monday, June 4th, so check back soon for the #humorcontest news!

THIS is easy??

Yesterday, I began to teach the kids how to do a 2-digit by 2-digit multiplication problem. I began by writing 43X32 on the board and asking the kids to just try to answer it.
The ONE kid who got it right and knew how to do this kind of problem already was the girl who didn't know how old she was, who told me that 5 + 3 was "so very hard," and who often forgets things over a long weekend.
Go figure.

A little experiment

When kids come running down the hall and I shout, "STOP RUNNING!" it has just about zero effect on them. So I'm thinking about seeing how they react to something totally random, like, "NO SMOKING!!" or, "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!"
The sheer confusion alone should stop them in their tracks.

Non Sequitors

My day was pretty lively today.  Here were a few bullet points... 

I have a set of liquid measurement containers that fit into one another much like Russian nesting dolls. Today, as I was pulling them out one at a time, much to the amazement of my kids, I kept hearing one of them say, "You gotta be kidding me."
Cracked me up!!

This was how my statement was intended to go: "When we get back from specials, I'm going to introduce you to Gallon Man."
Instead, I got as far as, "I'm going to introduce you to..." when I was interrupted by a boy saying, "Mr. Snowflakes!"

I had a sub for the last hour of class today. I asked her to have the kids take a big piece of paper, create their own word problem, solve it, and illustrate it. I even drew an example of what it would look like.
Just got back to my classroom, and I have 10 products that all have exactly the same word problem--my example problem.  Aaarrrgghh! 

Doesn't take much to impress...

Really don't think I can do this one justice in print, but here goes...
At recess, my kids swarmed around me to ask about the baby. Our schedule was mixed up because of ITBS in the lower grades, so some of the kids hadn't seen me yet.
Someone asked what the baby's name was, and I answered, "Andrew Warren Pearson."
My little muppet excitedly shouted, "Oooh, PEARSON!"

Yes, we opted to go with the non-traditional practice of giving our baby OUR last name...

Go the F$@K to sleep

After a couple of nights with hardly any sleep due to a baby who screams and cries all the time (except when he's feeding, when he falls asleep), I have a greater understanding of why a parent might name their kid that name pronounced "Sha-theed" (spelled like you-know-what).

Stop! Baby-Time!

My son was born today! And I feel like Mustafa looking upon Simba (but without all the hyenas).

My only disappointment today was that I didn't actually get to use the Baby-Time drill with my kids. But my next door neighbor teacher said that she would do it for me. She told me that she went out into the hall this morning and told the kids, "Boys and girls, Mister Teacher won't be here this morning. Can anybody guess why!"
She said that they all smiled and said, "Baby Time!" and cheered.
These will be good kids to loop up with next year.

One... Giant... Leap Forward

So it sounds like I will be moved to 4th grade next year. Not entirely sure how I feel about that yet. I did share the news with a small handful of kids as we were walking out to buses, and they were excited at the prospect of having me as their teacher again.

Guest teacher, Jacques Cousteau

The much anticipated Field Trip was today!  HOORAY!!

There was a teensy tiny problem at the beginning of our trip.  We were outside waiting for the buses at 8:30, when another teacher came out and told us that we had actually planned the trip for 11-2 and that the buses would not be arriving until 10:30.  Wondering who the shmuck was who got the timing wrong?  Yeah, let's just say the name rhymes with Sister Reacher.

The teachers conferred, and with a 4-3 vote, we decided NOT to have the kids just sit where they were for 2 hours.  Instead, we went back inside and worked on the science projects a bit.

We had planned on being back at school in time for our lunch, but with our new time frame, we were in a bit of a quandry as to when we would get to eat lunch.  Miraculously, even though I had never asked for portable lunches, somehow the cafeteria ladies had prepared sack lunches anyway, and that was a saving grace.  We ate outside at 10, then headed off to meet the buses again.

Once we were there, it was a blast.  Another teacher did not have quite the same fun experience as me, saying her kids would not behave and gave our school a really bad name.  But the kids that were in my group were, for the most part, pretty well behaved, especially after my colleague and I came down on them hard at the beginning for running and screaming.  They did well to walk and talk with inside voices after that.

We saw turtles.  We saw Angel Fish.  We saw an albino crocodile.  We saw sharks sitting at the bottom of the tank.  This was odd, because I thought sharks HAD to keep moving, or they would die.  One of the other teachers suggested that there was a current at the bottom of the tank, and that satisfied the sharks' oxygen intake.

The neatest part, though, was the stingray tank.  All of the kids, and teachers of course, got to dip their hands into the tank and actually "pet" the sting rays.  If you've never touched a sting ray (or manta, they're similar), it's a very interesting feel.  Their backs are kind of oily and slimy, and it was like touching one of my student's gelled up hair.

It was a lot of fun watching the kids yelp with fear-tinged excitement when they first touched the rays, and then became used to it and started petting them in earnest.  A few of the rays even swam right up against the glass and came considerably out of the water!

I get to take a field trip by myself tomorrow, as I've been summoned downtown for jury duty.  I don't think I'll have to serve, as I loudly advocate tarring and feathering for even the slightest crime.  Jaywalking, not using blinkers when changing lanes, littering.

Justice will be served!

Baby, Baby, Baby, OH!

During tutoring today, several of the boys told me that they were writers. Good for them! When I asked what they wrote about, it seems that most of the stories involve Justin Beiber being pushed off mountains, out of airplanes, and off tall buildings.
Good for them, indeed!

Thank you, my dear chap

As I was passing out folders at the end of the day, I called one boy's name, and he replied, "Right here, my good man!"

I asked him, "What did you say?" because I wasn't sure if he had really said what I thought I had heard! He repeated it and then added, "I learned that from tv! A spy movie!"

You do the math

Today we gave the very first ever 3rd grade STAAR test. (The extra A is for Avocado!)  Today's test was the Math test, so I was pretty understandably stressed and worried about how it would go.  One of the few changes that teachers actually KNEW of was that children would NOT be allowed to have all day to take it (4 hour time limit for most).  We also had heard that it would be much more rigorous (read, ridiculously harder) than the old TAKS, but since nobody had ever actually seen any true STAAR questions, we didn't really know what to expect.

I certainly wasn't expecting to see the level of difficulty that I saw today.  Without going into specifics, because I don't want to get in trouble, I'll just say that there were LOTS of questions that involved 2, 3, and even 4 steps before arriving at the correct answer.

I can't directly quote any of the questions, but I'm going to write my own problem below that generally sums up what most of the questions were like today on this THIRD GRADE test given to mostly ENGLISH as a SECOND LANGUAGE students..


Talukadiah arrived home at 4:55, after a long day of planting magic beans on his 449 square foot plot of property in Northern Gnome, Alaska.  He read that there had been 13 inches of snow fall that night, following twice as much the week before!  His 3 brothers and 5 sisters each had planted 45 magic beans, with one of those sisters, Groznzk, then planting 12 more.  After a nice 3 course meal, Talukadiah and his family, minus one brother, compared their earnings.  In all, they had made $450.  The older brother got to keep 1/9 of this, while the older sister got to keep 1/10 of the remaining money.  Talukadiah normally put away all but $5 of his earnings in a bag under his mattress, but only weeks ending in an even-numbered day.  He looked at the calendar and saw that it was Wednesday, December 4, that it was 14 degrees F outside, and that 25 minutes had passed since his arrival home.  If Talukadiah is 8 inches taller than his younger brother, how much money is in the bag underneath his mattress?  Also, Symmetry.


Tomorrow is round 2, the STAAR Reading test, and hopefully there won't be any stories like The Hare and the Pineapple.

Got the analogy!

For some time now, I've been trying to think of a valid analogy to use that expresses to my kids the importance of showing their work BEFORE choosing an answer and the ridiculousness of going back and circling words and showing work AFTER they've already filled in an answer bubble.

An AGE-APPROPRIATE analogy.  While I love Tim Allen's stand-up line, "What, do you wipe your A-- THEN take a S---?" -- it's hardly safe for the classroom.

A couple of weeks, it finally came to me, right in the middle of a small speech reiterating the comments made in my first paragraph.  I've shared it with both classes now, got laughs from both, and it's a keeper.  So here it is...

You wouldn't spend all day playing or swimming out in the sun and THEN come home and put on sunscreen, would you?  No, that's backwards!

Then of course I relate the sunscreen to work shown, playing or swimming to taking the test, and turning a lobsteriffic shade of crimson to getting the question wrong.

Not so easy?

Yesterday, one of my girls told me that 5+3=7, and when I asked her to try again, she moaned, "It is so hard..."
With only one school day left until the STAAR Math test, I was just too exhausted to even reply to that, other than to hang my head...

VOLCANO!

The rush for science projects has begun, and despite my insistence that a project has to be based on a testable question, I have a class full of kids who still believe that merely saying the word "Volcano!" will fit the bill and give them an A.

Lookin' Good!!

I just passed some kids putting up a bulletin board display in the hall. One of them asked me, "Does this look good?"
I replied, "Yeah! It does!"
As I walked away, he told the others, "Yes! We got a compliment!"
And I heard a girl respond, "Yeah, because you ASKED for one!"

Park it!

There's been a big deal at my school lately over some newly painted assigned parking spots. One of them, brand new, reads "Employee of the Month."
I parked there today and will again tomorrow. I mean, until someone tells me otherwise, I see no reason not to assume that I AM the Employee of the Month.

Carnival!

The newest Carnival of Education is out on Bellringers, and I am honored to have a post listed. Thanks to Carol for continuing to put this together! Go check it out!

Makin' copies!

One of my kids copied the homework from someone else.

Literally. He took her homework, took it to a copy machine, copied the front and back, slapped his name on it, and turned it in.

Sheesh.

Say cheese!

Picture Day was today. After the events of yesterday, I almost wanted the kids to be photographed in the duck and cover position.

Twister -- Non-Milton Bradley Edition

Well, THAT was a new one!

I experienced something today that I hadn't experienced in 9 years of teaching (or all the years of schooling, as far as I can remember). We had a tornado "drill" that wasn't really just a drill...

Last Friday, we had a scheduled tornado drill, which is always a major pain in the buttocks because we have to cram about 250 kids into a hallway and then convince them all to put their noses on the floor, their butts in the air, and in many cases, their heads right behind another's butt. Very few of the kids take these drills seriously, instead seeing it as an opportunity to yell into the floor, giggle uncontrollably, and play the part of the mole in whack-a-mole, constantly popping up from the "assumed position."

I told a buddy and colleague on Friday that if they ever did a remake of the movie Twister, they should have a scene set in an elementary school with the kids ducking and covering during a tornado. The iconic scene of the movie would be where the class nitwit tries to make everybody laugh by making a huge farting sound -- and then gets taken out by a falling tree branch.

Well today was NOT a scheduled drill. Third grade had come in from a truncated recess due to a light rain beginning. About ten minutes later, my next door neighbor came into my room to show me a message she had gotten from a friend saying that 3 tornadoes had been spotted in the Dallas area. Soon after, the "drill" began in earnest.

At first, the kids were their usual silly selves. We had to keep telling them that there HAD been tornadoes spotted and that they needed to take it seriously. All the while, wondering ourselves where WE would duck and cover if the need arose. And all the while the administrator in the hall saying again and again that we needed to have our grade books with us.

I almost committed a CLM (Career Limiting Move) by saying out loud my thoughts that if indeed a real tornado hit, that grade book would be the FIRST thing I rid myself of.

So the kids ducked and covered. And ducked some more. And covered even more. And ducked. And covered. And in what seemed like 3 hours, an hour had passed. (at about the 40 minute mark, it was decided that the kids could sit on their rumps -- though the punishment for fooling around was going back into the prone position).

At 2:45, we were finally allowed to go back into our window-laden classrooms. But then a little after 3, we were told to stay away from the windows but to assume the position again INSIDE the classroom. I don't understand the point of this, as it seems to fly against all practice and previous drilling. Nevertheless, my group of 21 kids was perfect during the 15-20 minutes that they ducked and covered again.

After awhile, when even the sound of the rain had subsided and it seemed to me like the imminent threat had passed (and knowing that no announcement would EVER be made that the kids could UNassume the position), I let the kids grab their books again and (staying away from the windows) read quietly. By this time it was almost 4, and one of the girls asked, "Are we going to have to sleep here?"

I told her, "I sure hope not, because this floor is very uncomfortable, and I didn't bring my pajamas."

Interestingly enough, one of my kids was still assuming the position at this point in time, because he HAD fallen asleep.

To make a very long, torturous story shorter, the last bus carried the last kid away at 5:15. This, after a mind-numbing litany of kids being called over the loudspeaker to come meet their parents at the front office.

Like I've said before, there is never a dull moment in teaching...

No Foolery today

Several kids asked me sincerely this morning if today was April Fool's Day. I told them that YESTERDAY was their day to be a fool, not today.

A bit of near-sightedness

After I witnessed one of my kid's get up and walk closer to the board to look at a problem for about the fourth time today, I had this conversation with him:
Me: Have you ever gone to the nurse to get your vision checked? To see if you maybe need glasses?
Student: Yes.
Me: Oh, well, did they say that you needed glasses?
Student: Yes.
Me: I see. Did you ever GET glasses?
Student: Yes.
Me: So do you have glasses here at school?
Student: Yes.
Me: Can you put them on??
Student: Yes.

This is of course a TAG student!

State of confusion

This was a conversation in my class today...

Me: We live in Texas, but Texas is not the biggest state in the United States. Do you know which state IS the biggest?
Kid: The world!
Me: No, the biggest STATE.
Kid: The planet!
Me: No. The whole planet is not a state.
Kid: The earth!
Me: You can say it all the different ways that you want, but it's still wrong!

No stray marks

When I was grading my kids "Ready to STAAR" test over Spring Break (and yes, I hate that name as much as you do), I noticed that one of my little angels had not shown a single lick of work on her test. She had answer choices circled, and that was it. No pictures labeled. No addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division shown. Nothing circled or underlined. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Needless to say, I was not particularly pleased with this child.

Today, I asked her why on God's green earth she would choose to show absolutely no work whatsoever. She started with, "You said..." as I thought, "Oh, this should be good. Exactly what did I say that gave you the idea this would be ok?"

"You said that we couldn't make any marks on the test, or the machine would count it wrong."

GROAN. I had told the kids not to make any stray marks on their BUBBLE SHEET - the answer document, completely separate from the test booklet.

This is why this girl did NOT get high marks from me on the TELPAS listening ratings!!!

I got the blues... the end of Spring Break blues...

Ho hum, it's that depressing time of year. The end of Spring Break. Yuck. It's been so nice to have time off to get stuff done, stay up late (check the time code on this post), sleep in late, watch basketball all day long (even if your team DOES majorly choke on the national stage), and generally be a lazy bum.

Last weekend, I was highly productive. I painted the baby's room (twice, since I didn't like the original color!), mowed the yard, and did some cleaning around the house. Earlier in the week, I graded tests, rated TELPAS writing samples, and did some lesson plans. Then the tournament began, and I was pretty much a lump on the couch for a couple of days.

Attended a wedding this evening, and my wife and I have a "Baby basics" class to attend tomorrow afternoon.

And then suddenly, it will be time to go to bed early for classes the next morning! Yikes!!

Anybody else got some Spring Break stories to share? Feel free in the comments section!

One Shining Moment

It's college tournament time, bay-bee!!

I invite everyone to join my ESPN tournament challenge bracket site and make your picks. It doesn't matter whether you want to make your picks based on research, talent, records, uniform color, or mascot (does a "Bonnie" beat a "Billicken?") -- in the end, it's all a random guess anyway! So come join the fun with a little March Mathness!


And speaking of fun, here's a re-seeding that Jonathan Grant of Chain Gang Elementary put together. He took the 68 teams in this year's tourney and put them in order of average SAT score. Go Harvard!

Hope to see you there!

Dr. Seuss never wrote about a duck

So at my school, there's a huge hubub about Dr. Seuss' birthday on Friday. Seriously, more precedence has been given to this event than any standardized test in recent memory. I won't go into all the details, but what really irked me today was that we were sent an email that had an attachment, a certificate saying ___________ from __________'s class participated in Read across America.

In that email, we were asked to pass out one of these certificates to each student on Friday after reading a Dr. Seuss book (oh, and it HAS to be done at 10:00; no other time is acceptable -- but that's another matter).

I don't know if the intention was that each teacher would use their own personal computers to print out the required number of certificates, or if the thought was that we would all bum rush Kinko's to get the copies made, but most of us turn in our copies to the work room to be made. (We used to have the power and authority to make our own copies on the school copier -- but that's another matter.)

So, thinking to myself that it was pretty ridiculous for every teacher in the school to turn in the same copy request for the same certificate, I took it upon myself to respond to the email (and of course, I replied to "ALL" because that's just how I roll).

This is the email I sent:

The certificates will be copied and provided to our classes, right? I imagine that Dr. Seuss himself would have said something like:

It makes no sense that I can see
To have each teacher come say, "Please?"
You know the numbers that we need,
To pass out so that we can read.

Thank you,

JP


I then sat back and waited to be congratulated on my wit and/or reprimanded for my insolence.

Towards the end of the day, our principal sent out an email saying that teachers did not need to worry about submitting copy requests because the suggestion would be taken that the office print everything out for us.

YAY!!

This was followed ten minutes later by a correction email saying that because a couple of teachers had already submitted their copy request, we would all be required to submit our own copy request.

BOOO!!!!

And THIS, I think, is why Dr. Seuss never wrote a story about a duck. Too tempting to use a child-unfriendly rhyme...

March Madness (a little early)!!

Howdy folks,

There are still a couple of days left in February, but I'll be honest. I'm itching to get March Madness started! So I'm having a little sweepstakes, and 3 people will win a prize!

On or around March 14 (AKA "Pi Day" to math geeks like myself), I will select 3 lucky participants, all of whom will win a "gifted" Kindle copy of Learn Me Good or Learn Me Gooder. If you don't have a Kindle, that's ok! You can get the Kindle app for smart phone or PC. And if you already have Learn Me Good and Learn Me Gooder, then I'll "gift" you a copy of another book (equal or lesser value).

Here's how to win:

There are 2 ways to get an entry, and everyone is allowed to get one of each type of entry each day. (In other words, go for TWO entries every day!)

1) Get someone new to follow Learn Me Good on FaceBook. They need to leave a comment here on the LMG page telling me who referred them.

2) "Share" the Learn Me Good post of the day. This is easily done by clicking the (duh) "Share" button underneath a post, which will place it on your own homepage.

I hope to have millions of entries by 3/14! Good luck!

EEHHHHHHH, Thanks for playing!

Here was an actual conversation in my room today...

Me: What are the types of energy that we talked about yesterday?
Student 1: Light!
Me: Good one!
Student 2: Sound!
Me: YES!!
Student 3: Energy!
Student 4: Heat!
Me: Heat!
Student 3: ENERGY!
Me: Are you really answering with that, or are you just cheering on everybody else?

The Great Whodunit of 2012

We had Monday off (President's Day), and I took yesterday off for my birthday. So today was my first day to go to school this week. Thankfully, my room was not in shambles, my supplies were not all gone, and no animals had been sacrificed (at least not visibly).

However, a mystery presented itself early on in the morning, and I'm doing it the honor of calling it a mystery ONLY because I had to painstakingly piece together exactly what had happened in my absence, and it took way longer than necessary.

Friday, I had assigned science homework, and so there was a stack of papers on my desk this morning. As I went through them to see who had not turned one in, I took note of the missing papers. I called about 6 kids up to my desk to ask why they hadn't turned anything in. One of those kids told me that he HAD turned something in. I let him look through the stack, and he pulled out one that had a girl's name on it. When I looked REALLY REALLY closely, I could see that this boy's name had indeed been written at the top of the paper and then erased.

Having already said my piece to the non-submitters, I kept the boy with me and called for the girl whose name appeared on the paper, wondering if it was worse that she had tried to cheat or that she had done it so lazily. She looked at it and informed me, "I didn't do that, that's not how I write my name."

Thus began the long, arduous detective work. I sent the girl back to her desk, figuring she was innocent of forgery (if not neglecting her homework). I asked the boy who could have done this, and he told me that he had passed his work in to a girl that sits at another table. So I called HER over to talk to her, and she told me that she had not picked up his paper, it was 2 OTHER kids.

It really muddles the water when your "eye-witness" doesn't have all of his facts straight.

I then had to call the 2 new suspects over and have a big pow-wow about who really HAD picked up the papers. Ironically enough, neither of these two kids were this week's "Administrative Assistants" (we can't call them "Helpers" anymore) whose names are written nice and large on the board.

These two kids confirmed that the other girl had NOT picked up any papers (while the forgery victim just looked perplexed -- is there an equivalency to racism going on here? He thinks all third graders look like one another?), and they also admitted to erasing the boy's name and writing a new name.

As far as crimes went, this one had the perpetrators and the opportunity, but there didn't seem to be a motive. Just random foolishness, something that seems wildly rampant in my class this year.

As to where the time disappears to and why we never seem to have any time for FUN stuff this year... well, that's no mystery.

Birthday party!

Hey everyone, it's my birthday! WOOHOO!!

And for this special day, I have done a few things. Number 1, I have taken the day off from school. Yes, my neighbor down the street said he was going to picket my house because of this, but even teachers need a mental day off occasionally.

Secondly, it is my quest to finish the 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew before tomorrow, when Lent begins, and I give up soda for 40-some days.

Thirdly, I am using my final 2 days of FREENESS from the Amazon Kindle program to set the price of Learn Me Good down to $0.00. I know that many of you have already read my book, but please please please pass this on to everyone you know who might be interested in having a free Kindle copy.

Now, I'm off to swig some soda!

The earth, it is a-changin'

Last Friday, as a brief prelude to our upcoming unit in science, I gave the kids a paper that had 2 claims on it.

#1: The surface of the earth IS constantly changing.

#2: The surface of the earth IS NOT constantly changing.

They had to choose a claim and then support their claim by writing evidence and examples. Reasoning and justification -- NOT two of my students' strong suits.

I was looking through their responses and just had to share. I should note that before I turned them loose, we did talk a bit about what "surface" meant, and how that applied to the earth. How the earth was a sphere (even though many said circle) and that the surface of the sphere was the outside, the ground, the part we walked on and could see. This may have influenced some of the answers...

Here is a sampling from those who chose Claim 2 (NOT changing):

- I have seen the seasons and there is always grass and dirt every year.

- Yes, because there are not new stuff around the earth.

- Because it is not moving it is not changing colors and the earth it's not going up and down.

- The earth is a sphere and never going to change to another shape.

- The earth is not changing because it just stays on the same place it never does something different. It doesn't spin around the sun the sun is the one spinning around the earth because the earth doesn't move. (Galileo opponents would be so proud!)

And a few from those who chose Claim 1 (Surface IS changing):

- The surface of the earth is changing by the different people that are coming to the united states of America.

- Yes, because the grass is green and it changes to brown sometimes.

- Where we live is on a circle (Not reasoning AND totally opposite to what we talked about beforehand)

- In earth all the days some people start inventing new things like the scientists invent things by doing experiments in the museum.

- Changes from the outside of the earth some are night some is day that changes the earth.

- The earth is changing because they building new apartments.

And ONE kid who actually explained it properly:

- New plants form and the ground cracks when there is an earthquake. When an ocean dries up it turns into a desert changing earth's surface.

There seems to be a LOT of room for learning in this unit! Can't wait!

Week in review

Yet another "not quite full" week of school this past week. We did go Monday through Friday, but Tuesday was a "Horizontal Planning" day, so our classes had subs while we planned and analyzed data (JOY!). Then Friday was an early release day.

This upcoming week will be the first true five full day week in a while.

Interestingly enough, the half day (Friday) was the most packed of them all, in terms of "events."

My day started with a kid from another 3rd grade class coming to talk to me before school started, to tell me that a boy in ANOTHER 3rd grade class "had pictures of naked women in his backpack!"

Being a collector myself, I felt it was my duty to check out what he had. No, actually, I did my job and took the contraband away from the kid and reported him to his actual teacher. The "pictures of naked women" turned out to be a lingerie calendar, featuring women who, while attractive, could not have been any younger than 40. Not sure exactly where this kid got this calendar (since I didn't for a moment believe his story that his older brother slipped it into his backpack while he was in the shower), but it was hardly high quality.

Later, I gave a fractions test, and at one point I saw one of my more distractible students intently studying his pencil instead of his test. I whispered to him, "Please focus!" He looked up at me, nodded his head, then went back to staring at his pencil even more intensely. I had to follow up my comment with, "Focus on your TEST, not on your pencil!"

Oh, and this happened this week, too.

Something is, as something does

I have a confession to make. I used the "s-word" in class yesterday. Repeatedly.

Fed up with seeing the same kids coasting through class, eyes fixed on the floor, the wall, or their pencil while we read through instructions for an upcoming activity, I decided to say something about it.

I told the kids that I felt that some very Stupid decisions were being made. I told them that there were lots and lots of Stupid adults in the world. That I knew some of them and that they were no fun to be around. That Stupid adults made Stupid choices as kids and decided to be Stupid students.

I then made it clear to the kids that I wasn't calling any of them Stupid, but that some very Stupid decisions were being made. That if they didn't want to become Stupid adults, they needed to make sure that they did NOT turn into Stupid students.

After that, the hands-on, small group activity went REALLY well!

Fascinating, ain't it?

Well whadda ya know? Out of the blue, I received an email saying that my blog had been nominated for a "Fascination Award" under the category Teaching Blogs. Apparently, this post called Pimp My Name from all the way back in 2007 earned me a nod for best blog.

So starting Saturday, Jan 21, the polls will be open for voting, and I sure would appreciate it if you would click on the badge below and vote for Learn Me Good!

And now for a little light literacy

Over the Christmas break, I finally read a review copy of a book that I had been sent by Jonathan Grant, a former newsman in Georgia. The book is called Chain Gang Elementary, and in a nutshell, it describes an all-out war between the head of a PTA (PTO actually) organization and the principal of his son's school.

I told Jonathan that I would recommend it here on the blog and post my review as well, so here it is:

I was contacted by Jonathan Grant a few months ago and asked if I would like a copy of his new book, Chain Gang Elementary, in order to review and share with the readers of my blog. Being a teacher myself, I got a bit bogged down in the intervening time period and didn't get a chance to read it, but here in the middle of our Christmas break, I was really able to get into it.

I highly enjoyed this novel. It was exceptionally well-written, the dialogue was crisp, and the characters were completely believable. I found only a couple of formatting errors, and most importantly, once I got into it, it had me enthralled.

The hero, Richard Gray, is a parent at the school, who winds up falling into the position of Parent Teacher Organization president. Since this is his story, most of the people on his side (the protagonists) are fellow parents and PTO members. Many of the ANtagonists are teachers and administrators at the school. Believe me when I say, the LAST thing I want to read is another round of teacher-bashing (which seems to be getting way too prevalent nowadays), and I will admit that I was a bit anxious when I started getting into the "battle mode" of the story. However, this is not at all a work of teacher-bashing. There was a very heroic teacher (who was of course labeled "the worst teacher at the school"), along with several other common-sense, cause-friendly teachers at the school. The teachers and administrators who were "enemy combatants" were truly idiots and awful people. I found myself getting angry at their actions, thinking that if I or anyone I knew did those sorts of things (putting in a cartoon then lying down in the teacher's lounge, while kids got into fights in the classroom, for instance), I would want to take legal action myself.

I have worked with my share of kids like Devonious, Alicia, and Nick. Obviously, Jonathan Grant has had some experience as well, because the characterizations were authentic.

Well done, Mr. Grant, and best of luck with the promotion of this great work.

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In other book news, I just noticed the other day that Carl Ashmore has FINALLY released the second book in his Time Hunters series -- The Time Hunters and the Box of Eternity. I really enjoyed the original Time Hunters book, and this one already has 6 glowing reviews, all of them 5-stars. Looking forward to getting a copy and devouring it!

Lastly, Vicki Lieski, another popular indie writer, has started up her own book site, called Addicted to ebooks. This is a place to go and look for reviews, genres, descriptions, and links to all the sites that sell the book. Check it out!

Rounding for Dummies...

I received a new review on the Amazon page for Learn Me Good last night, and it kind of stunned me. It wasn't that it was a 1-star rating (though that's never music to my eyes); it wasn't that the lady ended it by saying that she regretted recommending it to some teacher friends before she read it.

What floored me was that she gave it a 1-star and said the book was total crap because of one story in the book where I taught the kids estimation.

Here is an excerpt from her review:
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But in the middle of the story, I began to suspect his identity, and doubt his credibility as a teacher. He wrote of teaching his third graders estimation ... he claimed to have a strong background in his subjects, having gone to college to complete teacher licensure classes ... yet there he was, using a metaphor of "punching" a number up (which no third grade teacher would willingly use, being wary of accusations of encouraging physical harassment.)

To seal his fate with me, he then proceeded to write of the difference, within his metaphor, or punching a number up vs letting it fall down. He was teaching them to round up or round down. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ROUNDING DOWN!A teacher would know that. Teachers spend years clarifying that for students and their parents.
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Forget the fact that the punch it up method is something I learned FROM a teacher and have passed on TO many other teachers, all of whom use it and love it. What concerned me was that I am a teacher, and I did NOT in fact know that THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ROUNDING DOWN!

I don't normally respond to bad reviews, but I had to ask for clarification. 34 does not round down to 30? 125 does not round down to 100?

In the meantime, I posted about it on Facebook and got a ton of responses. One of my friends posted a link: http://www.jimloy.com/arith/rounding.htm
On this page, Jim Loy seems to agree with the Amazon reviewer:
"Rounding down" is ambiguous, and is not an expression used by mathematicians, nor is it found in arithmetic text books in grade school. It shows a small misunderstanding of the term "rounding."

He then goes on to talk about rounding and estimation, but every one of his examples uses integers and decimals. Not exactly what we're talking about in 3rd grade.

I figured that this was probably a matter of semantics, and that the reviewer somehow thought that I was teaching the kids to drop 34 to 20 -- actually subtracting 1 from the tens place. Sure enough, she did reply to my reply today, and confirmed that this was her understanding from what she had read. She went on to tell me that visual number lines and manipulatives are a must and gave a mini-lesson on how she would teach estimation.

I'm not exactly sure why she would think that a short, funny anecdote in a humor novel would go into detail about every single step used in the classroom (obviously, she thought punch it up/drop it down was my single verbal instruction to the kids), or even why this one detail would totally derail the book, or heck what the phrase, "I began to suspect his identity" even MEANS!

I'm pretty sure now, though, that I'm not leading America's future generation astray. I had my doubts last night, wondering if I was totally missing something, teaching the kids the mathematical equivalent of "E before I, except after C."

And maybe the phrase "rounding down" really ISN'T found in any grade school math books. I doubt phrases like, "Go next door and get ten more," "Subtract the neighbors in a pattern," or "The alligator eats the bigger number" are to be found anywhere in a grade school math book, either.

Doesn't mean us teachers (and, um, those of us who only play a teacher on television?) don't use them all the time to help the kids remember their steps and strategies.

Oh, and just between you and me...

Check out Step 2 in this 3rd grade STAAR Readiness manual I found today...

Parts is parts

I had a really good day today, with both classes. I showed them how to use the "Part-Part-Whole" strategy to write fractions. The kids caught on really quickly, and most of them really took to it as something that they might use on a regular basis now. We'll see what kind of results I get back on tonight's homework, where I told them that they could use part-part-whole if they wanted to, but that they didn't have to.

So for this week's INTERACTIVE MONDAY, I'm asking: What is a lesson you've done recently that has worked really well? And if you can't think of one, then tell us one you've done recently that just backfired horrifically!

Missing the point

So I just spent about half an hour writing some variation of the same theme on 18 notecards. The main idea was "We saw in our experiment that gravity pulls things down at the same time." 18 out of 19 notecards in my afternoon class.

This week, the science focus has been gravity. I started by showing the kids three water bottles of the same size but different mass. One was empty, one had wet paper towels in it, and one had sand in it. They were labeled, respectively, lightest, medium, and heaviest.

I had them write a prediction for what order in which they would hit the ground if they were dropped at the same time and from the same height. Most of them said the heaviest would hit the ground first. This seems intuitive at that age. Some of them said the lightest would hit the ground first, and qualified that by saying that since it didn't weigh as much, it could move faster. OK, there are no wrong hypotheses, after all.

But then the kids did their own experiment involving three different items of varying mass. They dropped the items repeatedly at the same time and saw that they all hit the ground at the same time. We discussed afterwards how items hit the ground at the same time due to gravity. I told them that if we went up to the top of the school and dropped a bowling ball and a grape at the same time, they would hit the ground at the same time. I even held up a tiny eraser and the big thick math textbook and dropped them, and (GASP) they hit the ground at the same time.

So yesterday, for their test (AKA "Reflection"), I showed them 3 items with varying masses. A big heavy Baby Care book that a fellow teacher had loaned me (the kids found this hilarious; one girl even snorted, "HA! BABY!"), a mostly empty water bottle, and a little binder clip. I identified them as heaviest, medium, and lightest. I then asked them to write, on the index card, what order the items would hit the ground in if dropped at the same time, and to explain their reasoning.

One girl, out of nineteen students, wrote that they would hit at the same time because that's how gravity works. The other eighteen wrote some staggered order, most of the explanations being that the more mass an object has, the faster it will fall.

Wow.

I really hope a lesson on magnetism is coming up soon, because at least then SOMETHING has a chance of "sticking" in my class.

My first new year success

On January 1st, I did accomplish something. I took a song that I had made back in 2009 and put it up on YouTube. This song is called Chili Mac, and it's a parody of the Justin Timberlake song, Sexy Back. I really did have aspirations of making a video to go along with it; an SNL-esque type deal with me in fake beard and ridiculous glasses. But I finally realized that I would never get around to that, so I just threw a bunch of random pictures into a slide show and put the song to picture.

Enjoy!

How was your first day back?

Ladies and gentlemen -- I present to you -- INTERACTIVE MONDAY! (On Tuesday, yes; I'm a little behind.)

So my question today is How was your first day back? This might have been yesterday, it might have been today, it might not be till NEXT Monday. At any rate, once it's over, come back here and answer the question!

As for me, it was a really good first day back. Sure, I didn't do anything that I had on my lesson plan. This was because our copies hadn't been made, so I couldn't give the new unit pre-test as planed. However, it made it possible for me to hold a fun little review game that let the kids work in teams to refresh their memories on concepts like polygons, congruency, and estimating.

I'm going to try to encourage the kids to start looking for and sharing real-world examples of math usage, so I started today by telling the kids about how my wife is pregnant and that when we went to the doctor we learned that it usually takes about 40 weeks for the baby to come, and we've already passed 21 weeks. Then I asked them how I could have figured out how many weeks we still had before the baby's arrival. Many of them of course said ADD!

I had to inform them that if anyone told my wife that she still had 61 weeks of pregnancy, she would chop my head off.

We're starting a unit on fractions, so this should be an interesting few weeks.

Looking forward to hearing how YOUR first day back went!

Welcome, 2012!

Happy New Year, everyone!! Have a fabulous 2012!

To kick off the new year, I am putting Learn Me Good (Kindle version) on sale for --- FREE, starting tomorrow, January 2. The sale will end Wednesday, January 4.

Even if you've already read it, please do me a favor and one-click Learn Me Good and/or tell everyone you know to do the same.

Thanks!